Homecoming
by harukaze
Summary: A 5-shot following canon, but is also AU, post-Stars. Haruka runs. She's pretty good at it. H
1. Glimpses

Chapter One: Glimpses

One quick look around the table and I realize quickly just where I fall in the visitor's list. This would be the so-called non-descript table. Important enough to attend, not important enough to have great seats for the show. Not that I consider myself important enough. To be honest, my seat and I are perfect given the occasion, at least for my opinion.

The round oak table is the host of seven other people. I came to the quick conclusion that this is the 'not really important, but important enough' table because the guy to my right was Michiru's manager for the better part of a few years in the first portion of her violinist career and the woman to my left is another sort of coworker. Everyone else sitting there had something to do with the event, from planning to catering to whatever else, and they were given invitations for the sake of politeness.

I have a pretty decent seat. It's the farthest in the room, stuck in a cozy little corner, not far away enough from the exit if it called for an early departure. About the only thing bad about it is the fact that the food is all the way in the other side, as well as the open bar. The dance floor is situated there as well, so I put this in the list of "good things". I arrive later than everyone else so by that time the lights are semi-dimmed and a slide show is well on its way.

My eyes flitter through the crowd and wonder why so many are unfamiliar. Who are all the people on table eight? Who's the man with the clean, shaven, and hard face with pools of hauntingly familiar eyes? Who's the woman next to him, poised and elegant, as if she belonged perfectly right next to him? And the young boy sitting near them sloppily getting the appetizers all over his tuxedo?

Who are the people on table nine? People that are such strangers that I knew if I were to see them again elsewhere, I still wouldn't know them. Table five, table eleven, table seven, table two...

"Who are these people?" I whisper to myself and give a tired roll of the eye. Looking at the elegant woman on the head table, I grunt once more and take a drink of the champagne glass all of the sudden materializing near my hand. "Do _you_ even know them?"

_Or maybe.._.the annoying voice in my head state rather abruptly. _You don't even know _her. _Cuz if you did, you would know all of these people._

Parched. Throat. Drink. All of it.

The bittersweet droplets splash on my tongue roughly, needing more but knowing that it's a bad idea.

I found table three to be my emotional refuge. There sat a flock of long, raven hair mingling with just as long, softly tended blondes. Near them, a bluenette, short, well-kempt turning to a taller figure of ponytailed brown strands. Lastly, a couple: short jet black hair and blonde meatballs.

I find myself wishing I was in that table because I could personally acknowledge that I do...know her. At the very least, that aspect of her very, very few know.

Polite laughter sifts through the crowd, blaring my senses to the slide show. I'm suddenly glad I hadn't eaten a thing. Bile is liable to go back up and defy gravity with what I'm seeing.

Sweet pictures. Holding. Touching. Hugging. Kissing.

I turn away and wish the champagne glass would magically refill itself. But alas, things in Tokyo are hardly that particular anymore. When was the last time anyone saw pretty soldiers fighting for justice under a spectacular moonlight with no reason to it but love?

Years. Years and years ago. But everyone is happy for this bit of silence. This...reprieve. Everyone, but possibly me.

The slide show converts to a movie. Of a few hours back when vows were being relinquished and promises given. I could look away. Truth is, I did. But it would be difficult to cover one's ears without getting weird looks across the table if I were to suddenly not want to hear it all either.

"Kaioh Michiru, do you take Abe Daiki to be your lawfully wedded husband? To care and..."

I push my chair back, disregarding the looks given to me by my table companions. The room was stifling, hot. Pushing a few buttons out of place and pulling the bow tie off a bit roughly, I make my way to the exit, fists deep into my pants pocket.

"Sir, would you like to sign the guestbook before leaving?"

I look at the happy face of the pretty girl behind the guestbook and mini podium, eyes flittering to the black pen waving in her hand.

Giving one small nod, I take it from her, flip to a random spot and write a few choice words. Then, ripping an edge off of another page and eliciting a small, surprised gasp from her, I write a phone number, hotel address, and room number.

"If you wanna have some fun tonight."

I push it to her direction, meeting surprised caramel eyes. I smirk before leaving the room.

O-O-O-O-O

Noise...is a funny thing. It's distracting, fun, wild, vicious, out of control, LOUD.

LIFE.

Silence on the other hand...

I pull the helmet off, my short strands sweaty and wet from under its vice. My ears are still ringing from the assault from earlier, but it seemed that for now, silence is even louder, pounding its way brutally in my head. My hands feel slick from the champagne throwing and I hope the smile was wide enough for the pictures to lie for me. I stretch my lips into a smile to see if I still can, and laugh at the irony of having to lie even to myself in the isolation of the lockers.

"Does it still surprise you that you can smile as if you're living the time of your life?"

My heart jump, but I hope it didn't show from my reaction. I've always wondered how she's able to go into a room completely undetected. I mean, to sneak up on a normal human is easy enough, but a trained soldier? Sure, it's been years, but you never really outgrow the feel of needing to be constantly on your toes.

I sigh loudly at the unexpected intrusion. "How's it going Setsuna?"

"Typical Haruka to answer my question with her own question."

I raise what I hope looks like a condescending eyebrow. "Here I was thinking it was rhetorical." I blink almost childishly at her knowing it's one of my traits she absolute hates. I smile when I see her frown settle even deeper. "How can I help you Setsuna?" I try again.

She leans back against the wall, red orbs never leaving mine. "Did you, by any chance, count how long you stayed at the reception yesterday?"

I shrug, brushing drying, cold strands with just as cold fingers that completely bounced back in their disheveled place.

"Six minutes."

My eyes follow a crack on the floor.

"Six whole minutes Haruka."

"And so?"

"And so? Really?"

I lean back tiredly, head banging a bit roughly on the metal lockers behind me.

"And is there a reason why you chose table twelve to gallivant in?"

"That was my spot."

"Bullshit."

Oh, she is angry...

I cough and look away from the gash on the floor towards an empty office.

"That's bullshit Haruka and you know it."

I sigh again.

"Does it not concern you at all that your best friend just got married? That...she'd been working on it for the better part of a year to make it the perfect wedding she'd dreamt of all her life? Does it matter to you that she wanted to share that part of her life with not just you, but everyone she deems important to her? To be important enough to even share a moment with her...do you even care for that?"

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"No. No, you don't," she continues because she knows I wouldn't answer. "Do you know why you don't care Haruka? It's because you're _selfish_. If you're not happy, no one else deserves to be happy. If you don't care, why should anyone else care? It's only the most important day in Michiru's life right? Why should you care? She's only your best friend. You're only important enough to her that she'd not just bother sending you an invitation, but an inquiry to be a _maid of honor_ to her.

"And to show your interest in the matter, you...you couldn't even answer. You couldn't even give a detailed answer as to why you couldn't take up the position. You couldn't even come up with a good enough excuse. It's as if you were telling her she wasn't even good enough for an excuse—

"What would you have me say Setsuna?"

My yell resounds through the empty room, only noticing after the action that I had gotten up as well, fists balled at my sides and my eardrums thrumming hotly. The jumpsuit was terribly hot and I claw at it desperately for some cool air to enter my heated system.

"What the hell could I possibly say to her? Congratulations? Fuck that! I'd rather slit my throat! I would...sooner point one of Eudial's little blaster guns to my head! I'm _not_ happy! I won't act as if I am for her sake. I'm not a good enough liar for that."

We stand there, glaring at one another in what seemed like forever. I wouldn't yield and neither would she, the words selfish flashing through my eyelids every time I blink.

"Tenoh! Get out here! Interview, let's go!"

It only took a moment. For me to swing my head to the direction of the noise. To look back and see that Setsuna is no longer there.

O-O-O-O-O

Sterile environments aren't my thing.

The first would be the smell. I think it's what I usually notice first and foremost only because there is, or hardly is any smell at all. There's no sweetness, or bitterness, or even stench. It's just stale. Alcohol. Clean.

Artificial.

It passes through my nose and I have the faintest feeling of my throat constricting, mind numbing, at how fake everything in a hospital seemed.

Second to reach my mind: off-white.

It's as if the decorators gave up halfway through a muse, chose a gaudy wallpapery color for the bottom half of a hallway and shrugged the rest of the paint and decided off-white to be the most presentable given any kind of situation. A neutral color.

Oh, someone in your family's going to die? Well sorry for the bright cool yellow walls in the background. Here's an off-white one instead to merit and match the voided feeling you must be encountering at the present moment.

Oh, they're not going to die? Well we know you're happy, but just in case, here's the ever presentable off-white color. Great for any situation whether you feel like jumping to the sky, or jumping off a cliff.

The elevator gives off a noise before opening, the stale smell reaching my nostrils even further and the off-white walls greeting me amidst the darkness engulfing the windows. The watch in my hand reads four. In the morning. And I feel as if the only thing I can do well these days is run.

I've always been good at running...metaphorically...literally...

Lush carpet greets me, crunching a bit beneath my shoes. And I'm fully aware that its past visitor's hours, but could care less.

_"Michiru just went into labor. Room 551."_

Setsuna's message was clipped and short, and well over thirteen hours ago. I wondered what to do about it first. Was it really wise to just come back and act as if I hadn't been gone for the better part of two years?

What would they say? What would Michiru say? How would she act? How would she look?

All of these questions jumped around in my mind.

How would her baby look?

It really didn't take long to book a flight. If money isn't an issue, nothing really takes long...

LA would be where I left it when I'd get back. It's not as if anyone would miss me in my two days off. Just a day. And I'd head back to normalcy.

After turning right and heading off to the wing of the maternity ward, I'm a bit surprised at the change in color. Guess I was a kind of wrong on the decorators and their abilities to paint walls. They half-ass the rest of the hospital, but not the baby section. Here I find painted safaris with lions and zebras and giraffes coexisting peacefully in a bright yellow savannah. In another wall is an ocean scene filled with sea creatures ranging from tropical clownfish to sharks and jellyfish. A little ways away is a solar system, complete with stars, planets, moons, and asteroids.

How fitting that the hallway for rooms 545 to 555 are the ones covered in ocean floors.

Said hallway is devoid of people. Passing by a nurse's station, I assume I'd come across a body or two for the midnight shift, but it looked as if they might've been patrolling. I shrug at their absence, glad that no questions would need answers.

All doors leading to the oceanic hallway are half closed with curtains drawn in each one to disable peeking. All is quiet, save for my small shuffles among the floors turned tiled and I could almost hear my heart beating. I could've sworn it wasn't this erratic just moments ago. As a kind of reflex I brush my strands back—still short, still unkempt, still unrelentingly messy, and then shove my hands deep in my pockets, avoiding the question of whether or not they're shaking just now.

547.

549.

551.

It suddenly dawns on me the what ifs as I stand there in front of her door.

What if she's awake?

I obviously didn't want that...else I wouldn't be coming at four o'clock in the damn morning.

What if she got moved to a different room?

What if she didn't want to see me?

What if...that guy is inside with her?

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat and I could feel the muscles in my face constricting to a frown. A pained one.

This was a mistake... I should've known that or at least thought it during the ten and a half hour flight from LAX to Narita. And I feel like running. Cuz hell, I'm good at that. No one in this world could beat me at running. I feel like going back to the other side of the world to make sure I don't see her and everyone else here I've left behind. I don't want to see them and I know they don't want to see me. Because as much as I can't stand seeing them all happy without me, I also wouldn't be able to stand to see them all acknowledge the fact that I'm miserable without them.

But...

But it's been two years. Two years of being alone, living from hotel room to hotel room. Two years of silent communication between myself and my better halves. Two years of acting like I didn't care if there was anyone familiar in the stands when I race at Fuji Speedway, but feeling utter disappointment every time I end a race and not see a strand of aqua hair in sight and blaming no one but myself at this turn of events because it's not like I said I was in town anyway.

My heart settle deeply, feeling the familiar crack there that I've grown accustomed to for years.

What would she look like?

Beautiful, as always. I already knew the answer. But I want to see for myself...just how beautiful. Because I know, I've forgotten somewhat. And the last I laid eyes on her, my sight was so glossed over by bitterness that I couldn't see just how marvelous she looked in her wedding gown. How genuinely happy she seemed at that center table, surrounded by everyone important to her.

I step forward, and push the door softly away, glad that they maintain them enough to not even make the barest creak.

Beige curtains greet me as well as the strong stench of cleanliness only hospitals could give. But amidst that smell is a familiar one. Soft lilies. A hint of vanilla. Neither scent overbearing or powerful. Balanced. Like her. And I wonder, just how she could smell this way in this environment. How she could give such a lilting aroma, when she probably had to endure so much in just half a day.

I side step through the curtains, careful not to touch them and make a sound that might possibly wake her and finally, I'm at my goal.

Michiru.

My insides warm at the mere sight of her.

When was the last time I've seen her sleeping so peacefully?

I smile, mirroring her small one and feel relief flood me. Relief that there were no complications during her labor. Relief that she looks happy and content. And one last shallow relief that, that man isn't in the room with her momentarily.

I notice a small chair by her bedside, but remain standing, my eyes paying little mind to anything else, but her.

Was the almost eleven hour flight worth it?

Yeah. Definitely.

The two years haven't changed her much. Her hair is possibly a bit longer, but the same wavy tresses in the same lush and shiny color remained on top of a beautiful, creamy face. The same sculpted eyebrows, over fanning eyelashes. A small, but pointed nose, and only-in-dreams-that-I-can-even-imagine kissable lips.

I wish momentarily for her eyes to open. I miss locking eyes with her. To look into those soul searching sapphires and know that she can read me from top to bottom—I miss knowing that someone in this world knows me that much.

She shifts suddenly, and makes a small sound, and I know regardless of her waking up or not that it was time for me to go. I take a small card out of my blazer pocket that I managed to buy at LAX while waiting for my flight and place it among vases of flowers and congratulations balloons. It was nameless, and had one word in it that she'd be hearing for days on end, but that was fine. Just like everyone, I know she'd be better off not knowing I was here this too early morning.

I slip away, careful not to glance at the still sleeping figure again in case I change my mind and step back into the hallway, my eyes opening wide to a nurse there that seemed just as surprised to see me.

"Sir—

"I know it's passed visiting hours," I interrupt. "I just wanted to drop off something."

But she shook her head, her blue eyes warming. "Are you a relative of Abe-san?"

I swallow at the name and look away. "Yeah. Old friends."

She nods, unable to see through my inner turmoil. "It's amazing how many friends she has. She's probably had more visitors this day alone than the entire wing combined! Of course that's a bit of a stretch, but it's wonderful to see someone loved dearly by so many people."

I nod again wanting to leave.

"Would you like to see the baby?"

It strikes me then that there wasn't a baby in the room.

She must've seen the question in my eyes because she continues, "She's in the nursery. We had to do further tests and Abe-san was in dire need of sleep so we decided to just keep her there until morning."

An unquestionable panic rises in my system. "Is she okay?"

The woman nods gravely. "Of course! Nothing to be worried about. We just like to run extra tests to be very sure."

I nod in understanding, following her as she leads the way to the nursery. She keeps talking albeit silently, but her words pass over me. The hallway turns from a deep ocean theme to a sky filled with storks and finally she leads me to the room.

The nursery is empty save for one baby bundled up in pink blankets.

"Most babies are kept with their mother, but as I mentioned earlier..."

I let her trail off to another explanation and step into the room, the pink bundle all that was in my line of vision. It seemed the woman knew well enough to leave me alone because she left as well, possibly to continue her nightly duties.

And for some reason, the smile on my face would not leave. I lean over the little contraption that they keep the baby in and carefully slide the top of the pink blanket away to see small, clutched hands. I rub the skin, loving the softness trailing along my fingertips and the small hand opens momentarily, long enough for me to put a finger in for her to enclose. I lean further forward to kiss the small hand, the smell of lilies and vanilla so overwhelming it completely freezes the smile in my face, but the fire relentlessly burned at the depths of my soul.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like crying. Ball myself up in a corner and curl up...possibly to die and wither in that fashion. And I could definitely feel it, the heavy sting in the corners of my eyes, the heaviness of my heart so deeply wounded, I knew I'd never fully recover. Because this bundle of joy grasping me is added to the long list. The list that states Michiru is and forever will be unreachable. That she remains in the dream all in her making, and left me alone when she promised she wouldn't.

I gently remove my finger from the baby's strong grasp and tuck the blanket back into her sleeping form. Remembering the still familiar days when I used to take care of Hotaru, I slide a hand underneath a covered head and one more at the bottom near the baby's small back and lift, cradling her in my arms and kissing an exposed cheek.

I'm not exactly sure how long I stood in that nursery and rocked the still sleeping baby. All that grabbed my attention were flushed, soft cheeks, smooth straight, soon-to-be aqua hair and deep sapphires that made me fall into surrender as soon as they opened, only to lock up with mine momentarily and fall into sleep once more.

I rocked her in my arms until I convinced myself that if I did so long enough I could be assimilated in her life.

O-O-O-O-O

April 7th became an important date. For an entire year I would look for the perfect gift for this one day and when I see it, I would still go through the entire year to look for another gift that could trump it. Racing around the world had its merits, only because the world's market was at my feet and I wasn't stuck in one choice shopping mall for too long.

The first birthday was a bit awkward seeing as I wanted to give something, but at a loss as to how without shattering my pride. In the end though, that's exactly what I did.

_"Haruka?"_

_ "Hey..."_

_ "This is a bit random." _

_ "I know. I just...I wanted to ask a favor actually."_

_ "Then the answer is no."_

_ "Setsuna, just listen first_—

_ "And I should because?" _

_ "Because..." I trail off, knowing I don't have an answer to that. "Look, I know I don't deserve it."_

_ "I'm glad we can actually agree on something."_

_ "But!" I cut off, before anymore thought is produced to those words. "It-it's...I just want to give a present. For...the baby." _

_ A thickened silence follows my request. _

_ "Shall I give you Michiru's address?" _

_ I shake my head vehemently regardless of the fact that my old friend cannot see the action. "Just...I don't care if she knows I gave it or not. Put it under your name, or just...give her the item when you're giving your present. Something! Please...Setsuna..." I feel the desperation coat my voice, but can't for the life of me stop it. "Just this one time...every year. That's all I ask." _

_ Another bout of silence. And then, "Fine. You know my address." _

_ I swallow relief that had lumped in my throat. "Th-Thanks." _

This year marks her tenth birthday and I'm in Italy for the Grand Prix. Instead of testing cars and training though, I'm at the ever busy shopping areas, torn between two I-was-told popular anime figurines. Yes, I know Japan has better selections, but that part of the championship won't come until further in the year and I am unfortunately pressed for time.

This year had been merciless. I've looked, turned over every shop in possibly every district in every city I was in and yet, nothing would suffice for the girl that I would give the present to. When I thought I had found something, a thought would irk me and sooner than later, I'd find myself looking again, chucking my last choice like yesterday's paper.

"It really is popular you know," the store clerk tells me in Italian, and I nod just to appease him.

And then, my eye catches something grey at the back of a shelf.

"What about that one?" I ask and place the two action figurines down.

"That? Old. Very old. Antique if you really ask me. From the eighties, but I think kids these days are lapping it up so the production for it went up."

I walk to the plush toy and squeeze it, feeling the softness of the fur around its tubby body. The tag attached to it is in Japanese and I actually remember it from my childhood. I grin toothily, mirroring the huge one given to me by the stuff toy.

"You got anything else like it?" I ask, making up my mind.

"An order came in last Tuesday," he murmurs, turning around and going into the storage room in the back. Coming out less than a minute later with a box, he opens it, and brings the items out. "Lots of t-shirts, more stuff toys, a little hat with ears, a stamp, the movie in its remastered edition, a little keychain..."

"I'll take one of each stuff you have...and the plushy," I decide and continue to look over him as he rifles through the contents of the box. "He's pretty cute," I add with a shrug.

"Kind of creepy...the smile."

"Nah, you just didn't grow up with it."

He shrugs this time. "Whatever you say. I'll ring you up."

So that night, I go back to my hotel room to box and wrap it all up to be sent the following day all the while listening to my manager at the Ferrari team scream at me via phone message about missing another test run. I turn it off right around the time he threatens to give my spot to a lesser teammate and settle in for the night soon after.

It's nights, much like this quiet one where I'm lying on another hotel bed that my mind wanders. It's been ten years...since I've gone home. Of course, I still went there every year. It wouldn't be very bright of me to miss my homeland's grand prix of all places, but much like everywhere else I go, there's no one of importance that I see at the end. I sometimes like to think it's because they want to give me room as I've asked years and years prior, but nowadays I've gone to the overly emotional conclusion that maybe they've just forgotten. Me. It's a gut wrenching thought, but the only valid one that reaches my mind these days.

Before, I had the notion that I could do this forever because it's one of my life's passions. To be one of the top drivers of the circuit, racing for the top team, and doing what I deemed to be my dream job, how is it that I could possibly want more? At thirty-five, I shouldn't. I should be aiming for something unattainable. Something that would set my name in stone. But everything these days is a bit hard to swallow, especially when the words, "I just don't feel like it anymore" keep grazing my head.

I feel it especially in the morning, when I've just woken up and look at my reflection in the mirror, and the same twenty-some year old girl is looking back at me. I look twenty-five, I really am thirty-five, but I feel like I'm ninety-five.

My life is so screwed up.

I know that they see it. My team. Discontent hangs onto me so well that the up and coming drivers are just waiting for me to say something so they can take my spot. It's not as if the owner will just let me go. Regardless of the amount of threats he and my manager can belt out one by one, firing me would just make the other teams jump up to get me. No, being the number one driver for years now gave me the advantage to say when I wanted to leave. And a part of me is sad and disappointed to feel that that time may be soon. Yet another part of me is rejoicing.

I turn, belly on the mattress and one nostril just barely flaring from above a goose down pillow to give me enough air to continue breathing.

"I miss Michiru."

If I were paying enough attention, I would probably notice that I said that out loud. But sleep begins clouding my vision, and alabaster arms embrace me in a feeling I had once upon a time. An American song filters through my open window, lulling me to sleep, saying everything I want to say all at once, but still leaving a lot out.

_Another winter day has come and gone away in even Paris and Rome, and I wanna go home. Oh I miss you, you know. _

O-O-O-O-O

It's a bit fitting that the last race of the season is held in Japan. After the end of a grueling test run, I find myself sitting in one side of a desk, Ferrari's owner in front of me and my manager to the side. They hear me out, and then take turns in explaining why me leaving would be a bad idea, mainly for me, but not for them. Somehow, I feel that, that's probably a lie. I shake my head. I stand my ground. I don't need to tell them that this isn't what I want to do with my life anymore. They could see it in my eyes.

After two hours of deliberations, they concede. They tell me to think about it though. Give it some thought. Wait until after the Japan Grand Prix to make up my mind. I agree to their demand already knowing it wouldn't matter.

November 15th came to be a cold, windy day. The stands are packed to the brim and electricity ran through the circuit like wildfire. According to the standings I was placed in third so far. The last two speedways were unrelenting and little to no points placed me in a win it all or lose it all ground. It would be the first time in a long time that another champion would be crowned, and I didn't really know how to feel about that.

In every race I've attended in my life, the start would always give me a nauseating feeling. It would start at the pulse point of my temples. Beat itself into a resounding headache. Next would be flashes of nausea, my stomach feeling like it's eating itself in nervousness. Hands clam up, sweaty and wet and I would have to repeatedly wipe them over my jumpsuit. Dry mouth, shaky countenance, even wilder than usual hair. I remember back in my heydays that I even threw up prior to the start of a race in too much anticipation once.

Today, I feel numb.

No unease. No pains in my stomach from a mere outlook. No nervousness.

Just...nothing.

And feeling that is the deciding factor for my earlier declaration.

The race starts.

The race ends.

Flashes. Microphones. Interviews.

"Tenoh-san, I know you're disappointed for your loss. We are as well seeing as you've been doing so well. It would be the first time in eight years that you're not in the top position at the end of the season. How do you feel?"

I shrug, my trademark smile gone from my countenance. "I'm a bit disappointed that I couldn't win it here, but it is what it is."

"Second place is not a bad standing by any means though Tenoh-san. As they say, there's always next year."

My lips purse almost automatically. Sighing a bit, I reply, "I've actually come to a decision that this would be my last and final race."

I veer my sight away from her stumped features and a frown settles itself in my face from the amount of flashes going off in my direction.

"A-are you retiring?"

I nod, face leaning forward so that my answer is clear and loud in the microphone. "Yes, I'm retiring."

O-O-O-O-O

A door stands in front of me, golden letters glittering its front side reading 9A. I've been standing here for the better part of five minutes and I wonder what I should do. All of me wants to knock on the door for it to open and to see her in the other side. None of me wants to see her uncaring countenance when she does. But I'm afraid that, that will be what I'll see. Stoicism. Uncaring. Forgotten.

I swallow the pitiful feeling back down in my stomach where it settles uneasily and tell myself, convince myself that I'm already here, and that to leave now would be counterproductive. Never one to be much of a coward, I brace myself to see what I'll see and feel what she'll give me.

My knock is soft, and I wonder if I should redo it or turn away. And then I hear shuffles in the other side, and my heart feels suddenly light and fluttery.

I wonder briefly how much twelve years has done to her.

Graying teals, a glitter of emeralds widen at me. I look pass memorable, shocked eyes to unruly blonde strands, a bit longer than how I remember them, but noting the familiarity of them regardless because I have seen her recently. Chiseled visage, a perfect nose, sculpted eyebrows, full, lush lips.

I lick my dry ones in reflex of the thought.

"M-Michiru?"

Her husky voice sends a pleasant shiver down my spine, and I'm thankful that the years hasn't downgraded me to Kaioh-san, or even Michiru-san. I wouldn't know what to do if I hear her call me so unfamiliarly.

"Hi, Haruka."

I can see that she's unsure. She looks around a bit to check if I came alone. I did. Who else would be with me?

"H...how did you know where I was staying?"

I smile. "A phone call here. A favor there." A smirk. "Not gonna let me in?"

Gray teals widen again. She shakes her head. "No, no. Of course. Yeah, come in."

I pass her, seeing creamy flesh amidst her unbuttoned polo. A quiet sniff makes me feel relaxed for she smells just as I remember. No manufactured cologne or even a hint of lotion. Just Haruka. So indefinable, yet familiar to me that I miss it as soon as the hotel room's clean smell overtakes its presence.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll make tea."

I make my way through the living area, noting one small luggage peeking out of what would be a bedroom. It looks to be the only thing in this entire suite that belongs to my partner.

I sit on one side of the loveseat, hands on my lap as I hear the tinkling sounds of china and a teakettle in the other room. Silence pervades us and I can only hope that it would not last. A minute more and she comes into view, two teacups in hand. She hands me one and I thank her with a smile. Turning away, she begins making her way to the other side of the coffee table and I couldn't help the sound of discontent coming from the recesses of my throat. She looks back at me, inquiring soft emeralds, and I smile and pat the other space on the loveseat wordlessly. She understands, and complies.

Sitting down, we pass over a bit of silence as we sip our separate cups, almost simultaneously putting them down.

_Break it, _my mind orders, to which I can only obey.

"Why?"

The handsome tomboy looks back at me, and I can tell from her eyes she knows what I'm inquiring about regardless of the many questions a simple why can concoct.

She shrugs, pearly whites clamping the bottom of her lip. Looking away, I hear a small sigh expel from her before she starts, "I'm not sure." Her eyes evade to inanimate decorations across the room. "It...doesn't feel the same, I guess. I wake up in the morning feeling tired instead of excited. I don't remember the standings and who is it I have to beat or who to remain on top of. I feel...discontent." Her emeralds give off a pained expression and I ball my hands into fists instead of reach out to console. "I sometimes go to sleep at night thinking I don't want to do it anymore, so..." She shrugs, trailing off, and I hear a hard swallow at her end.

My eyes greet the lush carpet on the floor. "I see."

She shrugs, a bit too casually. "It'll be there when I want to go back. _If_ I want to go back. Just, right now...something feels...missing."

And I know she no longer wants to talk about it. Reaching out at our teacups in unison, we drink silently once more, her expression lightening to an almost easy smile.

She turns to me, eyes crinkled, lips turned a bit upward. "How're you?"

And I smile back with a small shrug of my own. "Good. Life's...fine."

"How's...your baby?"

I laugh a bit at the question. My daughter hasn't been called my baby in years. It strikes me then that Haruka doesn't know her name. It's not like she would. She's probably never asked, and even though she wanted to know, her pride couldn't afford the question.

"She's very well," I answer, my heart swelling at the thought of my baby girl. "Would you like to see pictures?"

I see her eyes brighten at the question, and she nods willingly. "Yeah."

I reach for my purse while continuing, "Every year on her birthday I take pictures. I choose one per year and keep it in a little wallet holder in my purse."

She chuckles at my words, and I know she can hear the pride borne deep into them.

I take the small three by two album out and flip it to the first page, leaning further towards the blonde while she bends over to me as well. Our faces inch closer, her eyes filled with curiosity and our fingers mingling at the base of the photo book.

"This is at the hospital," I say softly, eyes on her instead of the pictures. I feel our shoulders touch as well and I unconsciously lean into her as I continue explaining, "It's just a few minutes after I gave birth"

A soft look flickers through her eyes, her finger trailing over my baby's face and hovering over mine. "I bet it was taxing."

I nod, chuckling a bit at the flashback. "She was a troublemaker. She wouldn't rotate properly and I had to get a c-section."

Emeralds widen worriedly with the news, but I shake my head to expel any troubles. "I was fine. They're not an unusual procedure than most would think. And the doctors were a bit fascinated at how fast my healing was..."

She laughs now as well, stopping as soon as she turns to the next page. And I understand her bout of silence, far more than she knows I do.

I begin, "This was her first birthday. She was teething a lot so this small present and her teeth became very well acquainted."

It was a small stuffed turtle wrapped inside a nondescript box handed over by Setsuna. At the time she had her own present, wrapped and written with proper to's and from's, and I knew without her telling me that the other was not from her, but from another source. Every year she came with two presents, and every year I looked forward to opening that unnamed box.

We were nearing the end of the pictures when I state, "You really are a bad influence you know."

She looks up at me, a bit startled.

"The first time my daughter noticed your presents, she wondered out loud where they were from. She knew it wasn't from anyone of us and because of the mystery factor in them, she looked forward to it year after year." Her mouth widens from shock at my words, but I continue nonetheless, "That was when she was six. At seven, you gave her a hand painted car and she went off in a crazy phase in buying and reconstructing little cars. At eight, you probably got it when you were at the European Grand Prix, but that little hand painted egg you gave became her new obsession and she started collecting those. It became a bit of a problem when we realized just how expensive they really go for." I sigh at the recollection of my downtrodden daughter when I had to tell her we could not get one she had seen online. I flip the page to her ninth birthday. "She got a bike from her father at eight, but she didn't really care for it. But when she got the BMX you sent, for some reason, she was spurred to learn then, and asked Hotaru to teach her to the point where she could ride without further supervision. She came with some bruises and cuts, but she's never been one to complain much and even now she still rides the same bicycle whenever she has the time. It's elevated to motocross recently, but I'm still a bit iffy in letting her try it..."

Emeralds widen at my words and I look back at her with mirth. "You should see her room now," I smirk. "One half is filled with pictures of motor bikes and the other with Totoro plushies and shirts."

She looks at me with genuine mirth and shock, and I just laugh at how adorable her face looks.

"As you can tell she's become a bit of a tomboy," I point out, flipping to the last page of her tenth birthday and noting the small curious frown on Haruka's face as she studies her.

The pictures prior had a little girl with at least shoulder length aqua hair tied up in a ponytail or brushed down. The most recent one had a boyish cut, tufts of same aqua strands just inches long and wearing the gray Totoro shirt Haruka had given her for her birthday.

"W...why?"

And the blonde looks absolutely stunned at this turn of events. I merely smile as she locks eyes with me once more, my features forming amusement. "Did _you_ have a reason?"

She looks away, a small blush painting high cheeks. "No," she grunts, sounding a bit as if she's just been reprimanded. "Just seems outta nowhere is all..."

"Daiki thinks it's just a phase." I note the flash going through her emeralds at the sound of the name. Not wanting to stay in that topic for too long I continue, "I think it's rather adorable. She reminds me of someone...familiar."

The tomboy's cheeks flush once more, giving me a sense of terrible high. I laugh at her unease and feel the years ebb away, and just as suddenly, I want the distance between us—what's left of it—to disappear. I close the photo book, feeling her fingers graze mine once more in the process. Setting it on the coffee table I turn to her, locking our eyes effectively. I lean forward, noting the movements her throat makes in a swallow. To think she could be nervous, makes me smile.

Emeralds look at me in a bout of confusion, but how I feel should be decipherable, especially to her.

"I miss you."

My voice is quiet, almost a whisper. Soft enough to hear her breath hitch at my declaration. And really, how could she think that I don't? What could she have possibly been thinking all these years to come to the conclusion that I could not miss her? It almost gets me to thinking it out loud. But the desire to hold her strikes me again, and I do not wait for her t o meet me halfway.

I stop caring if I somehow overstep a boundary we had agreed to not cross ages ago. I don't pay attention to the niggling in the back of my mind about personal space and keeping it. I can only think that this was—_is_ my best friend. The amount of years apart doesn't change that. The amount of time when no communication was shared doesn't become a factor.

I forget momentarily of the nights I spent in confusion on why she left so abruptly. I forget that I cried endlessly when she asked forcibly to not watch her race—that she needed time and space and this one thing for only herself. I forget the letters, possibly hundreds written, little sent, none ever replied to. I forget that she's broken my heart, piece by piece.

I do remember the glimpses. I remember her walking in to my wedding reception, looking sharp and handsome, and really? Why did she pick table twelve to sit in of all places? I remember her sitting, back straight, looking at everywhere, but where I sat. I noted the confusion in her face from all the unfamiliar people as her eyes sweep across the room. How they softened when they fell on Usagi and her group. How they hardened eerily as soon as they landed on the slide show. I remember warning her under my breath to slow down on that one champagne glass. I remember wanting to get up from the table and asking her to stay, but finding no argument that I'd find she'd see worthy, so I could not.

My mind whisks me to another important day.

I remember my senses trying to wake me at an ungodly hour in the morning. I remember my tired body, still healing from the caesarian section and my mind in whirls, stuck in a fog. I remember her familiar footfalls—how quiet she wanted to be, but years of being with her had taught me exactly what she sounded like amidst everyone else's sound. I could feel her before me, standing, keeping her distance. And I wanted to open my eyes and tell her that it was okay. That I missed her and to please, stay, if only for a couple more hours. But my head stayed lost, in a maze of weariness and dreams I knew were not worth it. My body stayed unresponsive to my pleas of moving. And again, she leaves.

I remember a twice a month ritual. A television, sounds blared, specs heightened.

_"And of course, the main attraction, Tenoh Haruka. Dan, the only female driver in today's circuit has won the last championships three years in a row. Do you think that'll change at all this year?" _

And I remember scoffing all the while feeding my baby that has become the center of my universe. Such a silly question. And Haruka responded to it, time and time again, like I knew she would. Yet at the end of each trophy given, or points awarded, I see her smile, and it cracks my heart at how happy she tries to look, but fails; her eyes barely meet the action she's forcibly giving.

I haven't seen a real smile in ages...

Both palms reach out to her face, my fingers curling to her smooth jaw and short sideburns and the bottom of my palms brushing edges of soft lips. My thumbs rub high cheeks, confused emeralds still locking with my own, and I can feel me smiling, but I hope it's not a melancholic one. My hands progress to wild strands, and I feel I miss this the most: the touch of her short, silky smooth hair brushing through my fingers as if in a dance. And from there, I engulf her in my arms, our bodies inching closer until there really was no more distance and my cheeks rest on top of her unkempt blonde hair, loving the smell so inherently Haruka that I know my mind has manufactured it once before in the last ten years when I knew she wasn't there.

Strong arms curl around my waist, warm and comforting. Her nose and lips brush my neck, nuzzling me and I could feel me falling all over again.

I wonder momentarily if she minds that I'm literally sitting on her lap, but it seems that it may have gotten lost in her mind as well when a palm brushes over my legs that's been bending on the sofa and touching her sides. We both wordlessly explore, my hands rubbing and squeezing taut shoulders, a smooth back, places that I've missed and she does the same, her fingers crawling, stroking, caressing, and regardless of where or what she does I feel an incessant fire burn through me.

I inch away, still shamelessly on her lap and pull our hands together in a tight hold. Our eyes stay glued to one another and finally, she smiles...handsomely, genuinely, and I feel my heart finally ease.

"I miss you too," she whispers, as if saying it out loud would break the world we'd enclosed upon ourselves.

I merely smile and caress one side of her face with a free hand. "Okaeri."

She leans into my touch, closing her eyes in the process. "Tadaima."

AN: This is a planned three-shot, short story-ish. It follows canon, but not obviously since they're not together. I dunno. I like my AUs...it gives me the leeway I need. Disclaimers for: Sailor Moon belonging to Takeuchi-san, of course, Ferrari belonging to Ferrari, Home sang by numerous artists, but written by Michael Buble I think, Totoro is owned by Studio Gibli and Disney and really? Do I have to do all these? /shrug. Anyway this is a sort of prelude to a bigger story. Kind of the same premise, but at the same time different in plot and longer...cuz I like my novel sized fics and can't articulate a storyline in such small doses. I've never worked on first person POV before. It was a bit tricky at first. Kept writing her and she on that person's perspective and would then have to backtrack to change it to fit. I also suck at tenses...so I TRIED to put this in all present tense unless past tense called for it to be more grammatically correct, _tried_ being the operative word. I know I've been gone. I know I said a half a year or so ago that I'd be coming out with stories and such and I don't know. Is time so much faster now or is it just me? I'll try to put up the next chapter as soon as I'm done writing and editing it and hopefully will be able to do so with my other works too, but we'll see. This is why I don't promise anything. I always break them somehow...


	2. Assimilation

Chapter 2: Assimilation

Her eyes flit over to the clock hanging right behind me. I count it to be the tenth time in the last ten minutes. To think she's nervous about such a small thing makes me smile into a teacup hanging over my lips.

"So, Hotaru picks her up from school huh?" she asks once more, making me chuckle.

Emeralds dart to me again, my amusement on her behalf making her glare at me a bit.

"Yes," I answer with a smirk as I sit my cup down on the coffee table. She sits across from me with the same discomforted look. "As I said before, Hotaru usually picks her up. It gives them a time to bond. It's become a bit of a tradition the last couple of years."

She nods, orbs darting once more to the clock, issuing a laugh from me. She huffs.

"Haruka, what's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," she answers gruffly, and sips the tea too quickly and burning her tongue in the process. She slurs out some curse words, earning my disapproving look. "Sorry...I'm just..." she trails off, looking away.

"There's nothing to be nervous about."

"I'm not nervous!" she yells, giving me an incredulous look that I did not buy.

I chuckle once more.

"I'm not!" Maybe she's thinking that if she repeats it, I'll believe her, but she knows I don't. "Just...I don't know. What if...she doesn't like me...or something."

"What's there not to like?"

She looks away again at my question, cheeks blushing just a bit and making me swoon inwardly in satisfaction. Before further teases could issue from me though, a car pulls up the driveway and we're both suddenly up from our seats.

"Sit," I command with a smile to which Haruka complies. I brush her hair as I pass her seat. "It'll be fine."

I hear her gulp just as a car door slam and shoes squeak up the doorway. Keys jingle loudly, locks turn, and sooner than later, the door pushes open, my cute daughter looking up at me with a swift smile.

"Kaa-san!" she calls cutely, and rushes at me, arms wide open.

I kneel to her level, loving how she crushes me into a tight hug, and I can smell the day's activities through her school uniform. I brush my hands through short aqua locks making her grin at me toothily.

"Where's Hotaru?"

"Nee-chan says she had to go to the museum for something important," she answers, shrugging her bag out of her shoulders and depositing it on the floor haphazardly.

I give her a look she knows too well.

Sapphires that look positively like mine roll and she picks it back up with a sigh.

"Good girl," I say with a smile, and lean into her. "Kiss."

She grabs my cheeks and kisses me full on, a grin attached to her small lips. My hold remains on her after though, which she knows is just a tad unusual for our afternoon routine. She searches through my eyes and immediately know that something's different.

"What's going on?" she asks rather cutely, eyes straying to the living room, and I'm amazed at how perceptive she is at such a young age.

"I would like you to meet someone," I answer mysteriously, and she gives me a befuddled look.

"Is it a guy?"

My eyes widen at her guess and her eyes dart once more in the living room.

"Well, cuz Toshi-kun says that when his parents divorced his dad brought home a new mom for him in like a month!"

I shake my head indignantly. "No, it..." I want to rub my palm in my face suddenly. "It's not like that. A friend," I continue, and note that she remains unconvinced.

I stand and take my hand out for her to hold. She does so and I tug her to the direction of the living room. My daughter's words take me back to last night, in the privacy of Haruka's hotel room with room order food shared between us in the same coffee table.

_"H-Haru?" _

_ I nod and smirk at Haruka's baffled expression._

_ She looks down at her food and picks at it. Looking back up at me and making me chuckle in the process, she baits, "Did..._you_...name her?" _

_ As I shake my head, she looks absolutely stunned. _

_ "Then...he...did." _

_ And I smirk at the fact that she can't say Daiki's name, but nod nonetheless. "Not that I didn't have a say in our daughter's name," I reassure. "Daiki had a list, I liked Haru best, so we picked it. She _is_ born in the season."_

_ Haruka nods, picking up her drink and taking a chug from it. "Pretty name," she states with one of her handsome smiles making me laugh again._

_ "I'd like to think so. Fitting for a pretty girl, yes?" _

_ She laughs and my insides soften at how relaxed she seems. _

_ "Yes, definitely," she agrees and looks down at her food. "A lot like her mother in that fashion." _

_ And I know I have a blush on my face amidst my serene smile, but I'm glad she's too sheepish to look back up. _

_ "And so," she continues after a bout of silence, probably wanting to change the subject for her sake more than mine. "How's married life?" _

_ This time, my eyes lock with my food as well, and I know she's looking at me, but I can't seem to erase the answer in my suddenly serious face. I look back up after several more seconds into concerned emeralds and I smile in hopes of appeasing her worries, but to no avail. Wiping my mouth with my napkin, I settle back in my chair and give a sardonic smile, raising my left hand and wiggling a certain finger for her to see. _

_ "Oh, I noticed," she shrugs seriously. "I just thought you didn't wear it in certain occasions." _

_ "This would be one of those certain occasions, ne?" _

_ But she didn't rise to my bait. I clamp my teeth to my bottom lip after seeing no change from her serious expression and look away once more. _

_ "We're divorced." _

_ I hear her swallow roughly, her elbows planting themselves on the desk as she leans into them. I look back up to her morose expression._

_ "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks, and I know she does so for my benefit more than hers._

_ I shrug and lift my chopsticks back up, but with no further action to them. "There's really nothing to say. It happened...four years ago." _

_ And at this, I know she's genuinely surprised. _

_ "F...four years?" _

_ I nod, seeing such shock in her creamy visage. _

_ "W...w..." Her baffle turns to anger, jaw clamping tightly and eyes slitting to the direction outside. _

_ "Why didn't we tell you?" I inquire, knowing what she wants to say, but unable to say them. _

_ "Yes," she seethes, and her emeralds lock back with mine. _

_ I shake my head, knowing because of who she is that she's not angry at me, but at herself. "Haruka, there's absolutely nothing you could've done," I reassure, but she shakes her head vehemently as well. _

_ "I'm not arrogant enough to think that I could've done something," she says, balled hands slinking away to hide under the table. "But I would think it important enough for Setsuna to at least message me about as she's done towards other events." _

_ "It's not a very happy one to partake in."_

_ "And you think I just want to be in the happy scenes?" _

_ I shake my head and get up from my seat, walking towards her and kneeling on the floor where she sat. Amidst the anger in her expression is also a pained one and I understand the thoughts racing through her mind. _

_ "She wanted to," I reveal, and I see surprise grace her face once again. I nod when I notice a hint of disbelief course through her eyes. "Setsuna begged me to let you know. But I didn't want you to."_

_ "Why not?"_

_ "Because as much as I was in the middle of something important, so were you."_

_ Her fingers clamp her temples roughly. "Trust me, missing a race wouldn't have been that big of a deal." _

_ "I felt that it was," I say softly, placing my hand on her lap. _

_ She looks at me tiredly and I know she feels disappointment more to herself than to me. _

_ "And as I said," I continue, "You being there would not have changed anything. Daiki and I were in a precarious position. We didn't want to hurt Haru-chan, but it would've hurt her more in the end if we kept up the charade that our marriage was okay. Our fights had gotten to the point where we couldn't hide our discontent even from her."_

_ "What was the manifestation of it?" _

_ My gaze falls on the floor and I inwardly apologize to Daiki because he'd be painted in a light that was a bad guy while I shined on as the good one when it's furthest from the truth. _

_ "He had an affair." _

_ Her muscles tighten under my touch and my hands dart towards hers to keep her held down. Her eyes are livid, fiery, and I know that her meeting Daiki would not result in a good introduction. I position myself inside her legs now, forcing her attention to only me. _

_ "Haruka, please listen," I beg, but she only shakes her head in surmounting anger. _

_ "Who the _fuck_ does he think he is_—

_ "Haruka!" _

_ Her hands grow tighter against mine until my fingers begin aching at her grip. But I set aside the pain and attempt to gather her attention once again. _

_ "It was my fault...okay? I_—

_ "Did you push him on top of another woman while he and she were simultaneously naked?" _

_ I shut my eyes tightly and shake my head._

_ "He needs to die in a fire." _

_ My right hand frees from her grip and flies to clamp her mouth, my expression pleading her to stop. My eyes sting at the look of hers filled with contempt and hatred all my spurring and my heart burns even more of the thought of how distorted her vision's become because of me. _

_ "Please...stop," I whisper and my hand gives out, dangling back in my sides as my sight clouds and teardrops begin crawling down my face._

_ And it was as if this is all she needed to wake up from her anger induced stupor, for her strong arms engulf me once again and I'm sobbing on her shoulder, her husky and quiet apologies catching my ears. But I shake my head because I know it's not her fault and my fingers graze her cheek as I lean my forehead into her face and she soothes me with a backrub and an apologetic smile. _

_ We sit there, time passing and neither of us caring until a cell phone buzzing breaks us apart. I gulp the remaining lump in my throat down as my fingers clamp out excess teardrops from my eyes. Sharing a small smile with Haruka, I reach into the bag to answer it. _

_ Hotaru has to take Haru home and needs to be up early tomorrow for work. I tell her I'll be home momentarily before hanging the phone up and depositing it back in my purse. I share another glance with the tomboy, her apologetic smile still upon her face and I pout at her in hopes of dispelling it. Her smile lights just a bit brighter earning me what I've wanted for the night: reassurance. _

_ Sooner than I wanted, she and I are at the door, her hand on the knob, but her attention fully at me. _

_ "Come over tomorrow," I invite and she just gives me a look of worry. "I'm sure you're dying to meet Haru-chan."_

_ "I am," she confesses with a sigh. "But..." She trails off, her free hand scratching the back of her head in uncertainty. _

_ "What's the courageous Sailor Uranus afraid of?" I tease, and I see the spark of challenge light up in her emeralds from mere words. _

_ One more second and she sighs, smiling at me widely because she knows I got her. "Fine, what time?" _

_ "Haru-chan gets off school at three, so come by before then." _

_ She swallows and looks away before nodding in consent. "Alright. See you tomorrow then." _

_ "Good." I write my address on a small piece of paper with the help of the wall, place it in her breast pocket, and stand on my toes, my lips meeting her cheek in a chaste kiss. I feel her burn under my touch and I smile in satisfaction at her reaction. _

_ "Good night," I state before waving as she opens the door. _

_ "Night," she replies back huskily. _

_And here we are now_, my mind states and I can understand why Haruka was nervous, because if I'm to be truthful, I would say that I am as well. I want my daughter to like her...love her even. And as they say, first impressions are the lasting ones.

We turn to the living area, my heart palpitating anxiously and I know Haru could feel it because she gives me a smile and squeeze my hand before we fully turn into the room, Haruka leaning into the armchair of the sofa she was sitting in earlier.

I hear the sharp breath of intake from my daughter before anything, the little tomboy's grip slacking against mine. Then, crystal sapphires look up to me, wide, shocked, ecstatic, and I chuckle because her reaction is all I've been waiting for all day. I see Haruka standing up to her full height, apprehension marking her face as her emeralds dart between me and Haru.

"Haru-chan, this is Haruka, a very close and old friend of mine," I introduce, eyeing the older tomboy to my left who nodded her head slowly. "Haruka, my daughter Haru."

"Woah..."

I laugh at my daughter's greet, which in turn only made the blonde before us grow even more confused.

As if only remembering now, I turn to Haruka and state, "Oh, it slipped my mind. Haru and I follow your races..."

"Like a religion! Kaa-san got me into it. She's been watching it since I can remember! Kaa-san!" My daughter turns to me this time, her face in a small disbelieving outrage. "How come you didn't tell me you knew Tenoh Haruka!"

"Slipped my mind too dear."

"Lies!"

I laugh while ruffling her hair, understanding dawning on the older tomboy now as well. A handsome smile paints through her face.

"Nice to meet you."

Haru notes the greet by bowing fast and deep and as soon as the pleasantries are over, literally drags the unsuspecting blonde back to the sofa.

"Now, _you_ have some explaining to do."

Emerald eyes widen at her straightforwardness, but nod regardless.

"About...?" she asks in a small trail off.

"Yesterday's race...and to think about it, the one last month...in Monaco. I can't believe you lost standings! How is that possible? You're like...the wind...usually."

Haruka coughs inadvertently making my smile widen. I can tell she probably wants to avoid answering the question, but my daughter's expectant expression makes it a bit hard. Emeralds look up at me and I smile widely at her small dagger stare from the ambush she clearly wasn't expecting.

We all sit, me on the lone recliner in front of the loveseat currently graced by both tomboys and my heart swells at the picture my mind has concocted countless times in my head. As with everything, reality is so much sweeter.

Rows of pearly whites clamp a bottom lip uncomfortably, a low, "Uhh..." coming out of the older tomboy's mouth. She looks around the room as if it held the answer to the question. Shaking her head, finding no answers on the tapestries or a painting I made a few years prior, she looks back at my expectant little girl and shrugs casually. "The racers have become pretty good."

Young sapphires roll, slowly, obviously. "Oh God..."

I laugh at the look of exasperation from my daughter.

"What?" Haruka prods, as if her answer wasn't good enough. It isn't.

"You're a horrible liar. Like mama..."

My daughter glances at me momentarily while speaking making me laugh harder and for my partner to join in a chuckle.

"It's a bit true."

"Nuh uh," Haru responds just as quickly, her eyes fiery and righteous. I can sense the challenge in them, and I know Haruka feels it too. "Mama and I watch it a lot. I only got to really get into it a year or so back, but it's not hard to research on you. You're the same...as you were five years ago. Bios, weight, eye tests...as far as anyone knows you're still at your peak. The racers haven't gotten better. If anything maybe they've dulled. They've all gotten used to being beaten, over and over, by a girl."

As she ends her tirade, Haruka and I mirror the same baffled expression.

Haru only shrugs at our silence, her eyes darting to the floor in a small gesture of humility. "I dunno. Maybe it's just me…"

And my partner sees it and refutes just as quickly. "No." Expectant, young sapphires look up at her causing her to look away. "No, it's not just you. And yeah, you're right. My physicals are top notch, I'm still in the best shape of my life, and my car and I are one, or at least that's how it feels like. That's what it felt like a decade or so ago and it's only felt more natural since. But…things change. Your wants change. And being in the circuit while not giving my all to it would be a disservice to myself and its fans, so I decided to stop before any further hurt would come out of it."

They share a look, older eyes as apologetic as young ones.

And because who Haruka is, she decides to steer clear of the subject as soon as it came up, a deep breath all that supersedes its awkwardness. "Michiru tells me you have an interest in motocross."

Haru's eyes widen, her nods coming in quick succession. I, for one, do not like where it has steered into. "Haruka…."

The older of the two tomboys rolls her eyes at me in obvious exasperation. "Come on Michiru. I was close to Haru's age when I started delving into the world of speed."

I eye her in chastise. "That's you Haruka—

"And what's the difference with me?"

"Haru—

"Mama, you know that's not fair! You say reach for the sky and when I do you pull me back down!"

"That's a pretty good analogy…"

"Haruka, not helping."

"Fine! No, no, it's fine! Compromise! Mama, please. A compromise."

"You have pretty good vocabulary for a ten year old."

Young sapphires roll. "I'm good at modern Japanese unlike some people."

Haruka rubs a palm to her face. "Those magazines…is there anything they omit?"

But my daughter's attention is once again to me and I see that she's serious about the matter so I put on my strong face as well.

"Okay, so compromise."

"Haru, unless I say so there's no compromise."

"That's so unfair! The deal wouldda been great too!"

I sigh, seeing Haruka's mirth in my peripherals at the obvious battle that's suddenly raging in my living room. "I already told you that I'll think about it and when I've breached a decision I'll tell you."

"I'll take up an instrument!" Haru exclaims. "You always wanted that right? I'll…take…up…"

"Haru—

"Piano!"

"You're only saying that because you know Haruka plays the piano."

"Great! She'll teach me that too."

"Too?"

The tomboys share a look. "You're obviously on my side so you'll coach me in motocross and all that stuff too…" my daughter answers her with only a quarter of her attention.

"Haru, you know this is not the proper time or place for this discussion."

"So when?"

"When I say so."

"So unfair."

"Life isn't fair aka-chan."

She stops arguing, but her face remains hard, pouty. And she looks at the Haruka with that same look, and everyone who hasn't been cultured in resisting it falls…hard.

"Michiru…"

"No, Haruka."

"Well I think it's a pretty good compromise," she shrugs and even though she does it so casually she knows as much as I do that this won't slide as easily as I hoped it to. She looks at my daughter seriously. "How's school? How're your marks?"

"Good I guess. I do well enough."

She nods in approval to how Haru answers. "Good. Keep it up if not better. In the meanwhile—

"Haruka."

She gestures at me to give it a minute and continues without breaking eye contact with my daughter, "I'll talk to an old friend of mine about letting you and I watch races and afterwards help clean up too. It'll give you a good idea on how things work in the circuit while giving Michiru time to think it over. If you change your mind, great. If not, it'll show her that it's not a passing fancy. She's only apprehensive about it because she knows of the dangers it brings. Whether or not I'm there isn't a factor. This is between you and your mother. Do well in school, keep up your marks, juggle everything evenly and neatly as is expected of you and show her that you want to do this. Words aren't enough. Put your heart into it."

Sparkling emeralds look at me, questioningly, apprehensively, knowing she's somehow stepped out of line, but apologetic all at once.

And I can't berate her. Not when I know she's right. Not when I can agree with the terms and conditions set in place.

So I nod, and the bright eyes of my baby girl made the decision less burdening.

O-O-O-O-O

"I'm sorry for butting in."

Dinner has passed, shared between us three with mainly talks of races and the off-road circuit in the table, but I hadn't minded. Haru as promised went upstairs straight after the meal with proclamations of homework that wouldn't finish itself which left me and my best friend in the living room where it had all began and once again alone. I shake my head quietly and reach over to the back of her head to caress short strands.

"It's fine."

"My mouth ran away with me again. It's a really bad habit."

I chuckle, fingers plotting circles across her smooth scalp.

"I hope you're ready to take responsibility for it though," I warn playfully and lock with her amused emeralds.

"Course," she says easily. "Shouldn't be a problem getting hold of Yamada-san. And just so we're on the same page I promise not to let her on any bikes before your consent. I wouldn't want her to feel guilty or need to lie to you through me anyway."

I nod understandingly, showing her that she needn't say things I already know. It would be an understatement to say that I trust my daughter with my best friend. I trust her with my life already, and I want a bond to be shared between them: my two favorite girls.

"So aside from this little project you've decided to partake in, what're your plans for a while?" I ask and rest the arm around her to her waist, pulling myself right next to her and planting my chin on her shoulder.

She looks down at me with a bit of amusement and leans into the sofa, trapping my arm behind her and making me lock her in a small embrace. She shrugs, making my head bop inadvertently.

"I'm tired of living in hotels so I'm thinking of looking for a condo. All my stuff is tucked away in a storage unit, but it's nothing really tangible so I'll be busy…decorating…and crap."

I laugh at the disgust riddled in her voice and hug her tighter. And before my mind could concede with the idea, my mouth has run off as well. "Live with us."

Genuine surprise shines at me in her orbs, my eyes noting the bob her throat made from swallowing roughly. She looks away, the discomfort plain as day on her handsome face.

"I don't think that's a very good idea."

"And why not?" I reply just as quickly. And before she can count her answers in a neat file for me, I continue, "We definitely have room. Choose and it'll be yours. You don't have to redecorate a whole place, only your bedroom. Our garage should be big enough to house your vehicles since I know most condominium complexes would have you pay for extra parking spots. You don't cook, I do. It won't be burdensome to make a serving for three instead of two, and I'm sure Haru won't mind seeing as she doesn't only think you're cool, but genuinely likes you. What's your rebuttal?"

She continues to look at everything, but me, conflict written all over her face and I lower my glance so she wouldn't see how disappointed I am for already feeling rejected. My arms loosen from around her waist, my body retracting until we're a safe distance from one another in the sofa, yet she continues to look away. Already I'm feeling stupid for bringing up the idea, and wish I could take it away so this silence between us can end.

Tucking loose strands behind my ear, I sigh quietly and apologize, but it only earns me a deeper frown at the tomboy's end. "Forget I mentioned it. It was just an idea—an option. So you know what they are and can make an easier decision. I didn't mean to butt in."

She finally looks at me with my inadvertent choice of words, but before a reply can issue from her the grandfather clock chimes, signaling a late evening. The thought process trails off and I can see the decision she's made. Running. Always running.

I look away.

"I should go."

I can only nod.

"I'll…get a hold of Yamada-san. If he gives me the okay I'll call you."

I nod again. Sighing deeply, I look up from the floor and give a tight smile. It's the only one I can call upon at the moment. "Have a safe trip back."

I see her fists balling from within her pants pockets, jaw hardening at words she can't say.

_Just speak up._

But she won't. She nods as well. "Good night. I'll see myself out."

_Please don't disappear like last time…_

The door clicks and I feel myself falling on the sofa.

O-O-O-O-O

_For some reason I feel apprehensive. When the question was popped just last night, I was happy—ecstatic. There was no trace of worry or concern or second thoughts. _

_ "Yes," was an answer I'd gladly give up again and again. _

_ But a new day has dawned and the first person I'm to tell is the hardest to speak to. She's been busy lately, this I know. The respite after Galaxia has all of us in a vigilant, but easygoing lifestyle. We can live…finally. We all still live in the same house. We're all still roommates, comrades, and more, but lately I notice that, more than anyone, _she_ has been busy. _

_ "Hey," she greets tiredly into a morning coffee brewed by Setsuna who has already left for the day. _

_ I smile at her wild blonde hair, poking like hay all over a tired head._

_ "Good morning." _

_ She rubs at her eyes, a wide yawn issuing from deep within her and I can only laugh at how endearing she looks. She smiles as she gets up and gets me a cup as well, my gratitude showing even before it's placed in front of me. She makes to grab the daily newspaper left behind by the time soldier, but my words stop her in mid action._

_ "I need to talk to you about something."_

_ She sees the concealed excitement from my voice and leans back into her seat to give me her full attention, long fingers grazing the sides of a hot mug. _

_ I tell myself to breathe. To get it over with. Because the sooner I can, the sooner the burden will go away. And it's not like Haruka'll say no. _

_ Quick. Painless. Like pulling a band-aid, so they say._

"_Daiki popped the question last night." _

_Her look of curiosity shifts...and I know her well enough to place all of them in order._

_Horror. Disbelief. Shock. Confusion. Frown. Mask. Stoic. Smile._

"_Grats." _

_All in a matter of a couple seconds. _

"_Took him long enough. How long have you guys been together?" she asks casually, eyes flittering back to the newspaper while gripping the mug in her hands. _

"_A year."_

_She nods. "Time flies." _

_I agree silently. _

"_When's the date?"_

"_We don't know yet."_

"_Time to round up the gang then huh? His family. Your family. Sounds like a lot of planning." _

_I nod, glad that she brings it up herself so it can be an easier transition for me. "It is. I'll need a lot of help."_

_She laughs, the sound not reaching her eyes in the least bit. "I'm thinking…Minako would probably be overjoyed of the prospects—_

"_Can you be my maid of honor?" _

_Her smile slides, attention still on the newspaper. "A spot has opened up on Toyota's roster. It's the once in a lifetime chance I've been looking for. We'll be traveling all over for tests. It'll be time consuming. They want to prep me as hard as it is possible for the next season."_

"_Grats," I mirror her earlier statement._

_She nods, sips her coffee absentmindedly. "There's talk that Toyota'll pull out of F-1 soon. I need to make a dent so another team strikes interest and picks me up." _

"_I promise you won't do so much," I reply softly, the thoughts of possibly having a wedding devoid of my best-friend making my heart and stomach flop wildly. As each second ticks it becomes harder for me to look at her indifferent countenance. "A rehearsal here and there. You won't have to partake in anymore than is necessary. No dresses either, I promise." _

_But the humor in my voice is lost as she merely shrugs and gets up from the table, downing the rest of her coffee in the process. "I'll think about it." _

_And just as quickly as we sat together, we had gone our separate ways again. _

O-O-O-O-O

I dream very often. Whenever I do, it's usually not very pleasant. Nor is it much of a dream.

Memories.

I dream of memories.

I dream of Haruka saying she'll think about my proposition only for us to never speak of it again. I dream of lonely breakfasts—of wanting to catch her on an off day when she wasn't in the pit or at a test or, God forbid, abroad. But she always was. If not one, then two, or all three. It's not that I wanted to speak with her to push her in a corner. Without her presence I just found the days inconceivably long and trying. It was a good thing I had the wedding to fall back on. I grew busy to the point where my mind didn't have to think so much and I could act as if everything was okay. But it was hard to fool the ones closest to you, and although Hotaru looked like a child, she was far from it, and Setsuna? It would be a joke to even _think_ anyone could fool her.

"So how is she?"

I look up from my painting and smile at my visitor.

"Fine," I answer shortly, putting the palette down and dipping the brush into some water. "She met Haru a couple days back."

Setsuna sits down on a chair against the wall and smirks up at me. "And how was that?"

"They double teamed me into giving motocross a try…"

She chuckles at my sigh and gets up as soon as she sits. "Hotaru has to present the gallery to a prominent audience and can't pick up Haru-chan. She asked me to not knowing about your schedule."

I smile evenly. "She should've just asked."

"She figures since Haruka's back in town you might have other plans."

I look away and note it has been two days since my best friend and I has spoken again.

"Let's go for some coffee and afterwards pick up Haru. It's the weekend and she spoke to me on the phone last night about asking you to have friends for a sleepover."

I laugh. "As if I could say no to such a small request."

We drive to a busy coffee chain a few blocks away from my daughter's elementary school and grab drinks. Sitting ourselves in front of a wide window and the busy atmosphere of the shop behind us silence does not last very long because of my company.

"So how is our wind soldier faring?"

I eye a faraway pedestrian, keeping my beverage at bay. "Last we spoke she was planning on finding a place to stay."

She nods. "I doubt staying at hotels have been a comfortable experience."

I get to the heart of the heart of the matter. "Do you think it thoughtless that I asked her to live with me and Haru?"

My friend isn't surprised at my question. She merely keeps her attention outside. "No," she says with a shake of the head. "If anything I would expect it. And knowing Haruka she'd think it's a bad idea."

I smile sardonically. "You should go into the fortune telling business."

"Deep inside you knew she would reject the idea too Michiru. Everything's still too fresh and moving quickly."

I sigh, knowing Setsuna's right as always. "We haven't spoken since and I'm afraid of her leaving again," I admit quietly, eyes fixed on the recyclable coffee cup. "I'm not sure if I can handle it as gracefully this time around."

"What do you want from her?"

I look at her for the first time since we sat, garnet orbs eyeing me back seriously.

"You know what I want."

The time guardian nods. "Yes, I know. But I want _you_ to acknowledge it for yourself. You know that being her friend isn't enough. The problem now lies on the fact that too much time has passed and neither of you has broken the silence. And why won't you Michiru?"

"I want _her_ to," I reply and I can hear me sounding childish, but ignore it.

"Michiru—

"Setsuna, you know how much I loved Haruka. I still do. If not the same as in the past then with more ferocity now. But..."

"She's just too bullheaded to see it?"

I shove the coffee cup away, feeling heat and anger rise within my system.

"I believe it's time to pick Haru-chan up."

I growl lowly. "If she doesn't call me today will personally go to her hotel room and knock some sense into her."

Setsuna laughs as we get up and go back to my car.

"Haruka _is_ the best runner I've ever seen," my older friend adds to which my annoyance can only double to. "Michiru wipe that frown or else your daughter will realize quickly there's something wrong."

I sigh, but comply. "She has my intuition."

"I'm not in the least surprised."

The drive to the small elementary school is quick and mobs of students are already fighting their way out when we arrive. It only takes a couple of minutes for Haru to find us, one of her two best-friends in tow.

"Mama..." she calls from outside of the car looking sheepish as my eyes flicker to and from her friend.

I smile in mirth as I see uncertainty grace my daughter's cute face. "Suna baa-san told me," I reassure and then turn to the as unsure, shy girl beside her. "Good afternoon Tsubasa-chan."

"Kaioh-san," she greets with a graceful bow making my smile grow wider. Her long blue-black hair surrounds a cherub face, icy blue eyes piercing me deeply when we first met. She is the over-achiever student that I'm glad Haru had befriended; my daughter's not one for studying.

They pile into the backseat, book bags thrown on one side while Tsubasa sits in the middle and Haru takes the window seat.

"Where's Toshi-kun?" I ask as I pull out into the curb and drive away.

"He has cram school 'til six and left early. His father will drop him off."

"Speaking of cram school—

"Yada!"

Setsuna and I chuckle at the immediate answer.

"What about you Tsubasa-chan?"

"Still seems too early for that," she says quietly. "But my parents are taking it into consideration."

"We're _ten_!" Haru exclaims, eyes rolling exasperatingly from my rearview mirror. "Toshi's father's a slave driver..."

I couldn't help, but agree. "By the way Haru-chan, I'm assuming our negotiation's still in effect?"

She glares at me suspiciously while Tsubasa's attention perks up.

"About...?"

"Taking up an instrument."

"No way!" she exclaims. "Haruka just said school! Keep up my marks! That was the deal!"

I nod, but she knows it's not over. "Yes, but we're speaking under the terms _you_ made."

"But we okayed it without needing that part of the agreement. Haruka—

"Haruka says it's between us. And I'm not sure about how I feel on how you call her," I add as an afterthought.

"Something tells me Haruka won't like being called oba-san though," Setsuna jumps in.

"Speaking of her, I haven't seen her since Wednesday."

_Neither have I..._I stop my facial features from switching into annoyance.

"Is she gonna talk with that old friend of hers like she said?"

But regardless of my train of thought I don't hesitate on my answer. "Haruka's not one to say things without meaning them."

"Toshi doesn't believe me," my daughter hmph's indignantly.

"Nope, he doesn't," Tusabasa adds. "But apparently you weren't dreaming."

Sapphire eyes roll. "Course not. I should've asked for an autograph. Would shut him up..."

I laugh at their little conversation and as we turn into the house my smile dies and my heart quickens automatically in tandem.

"Speak of the devil," Setsuna states and I see her smirk from my peripherals as she glances at me.

"Oh my gosh, she's here."

The excitement in my daughter's voice is palpable, a feeling I can definitely relate to. She's first to rocket out of the car, a loud, "Hey Haruka!" trailing after her.

Setsuna and Tsubasa follow my purposefully slower pace and I can see the amusement in the blonde's face at how my daughter has addressed her.

"Hey yourself," she chuckles and then looks at me, a hint of apology and hesitation in her teal eyes.

I smile to dispel it, the fact that I was angry at her only a half an hour or so back still fresh in my mind, but knowing now is neither the time nor the place to express it. Relief floods her countenance at the small peace treaty, her posture relaxing and attention once again to my daughter who has made her way to the older tomboy's side.

"If you come baring bad news, you shouldn't have come at all," Haru warns mischievously making Haruka laugh and ruffle small aqua locks.

"Sunday, there's a prelim race up in Northern Chiba for junior motocross players. We'll watch the race, then you can meet Yamada-san. We can help with the clean up and meet some of the racers there too."

My daughter literally jumps in excitement and hugs Haruka's slim waist.

"Just so you know, you're my new hero."

The blonde scowls. "Who'd I replace?"

"Kamen Rider."

"Pfft...a cartoon character?"

"You should consider it an honor!"

I place a hand on my daughter's shoulder and smile at the cute scowl on Haruka's face. Her eyes land on Setsuna's who stands evenly next to me, garnets stoic and a bit cold.

"This is one of my best-friends Tsubasa-chan and my aunt Meioh Setsuna," Haru introduces, not yet sensing the chill in the air.

Tsubasa bows, Haruka smiling at her in greet before they land on our older friend once again.

"Haruka."

"Setsuna."

Comprehension finally dawns on my daughter's face and before anything else can be said, I jump in. "Haru, there's a snack for you and Tsubasa-chan on the kitchen counter. Milk and juice are in the fridge. You may take it up to your room today."

"Kay."

She fumbles with her keys, Tsubasa tailing right after and with one last look at all three of us shuts the door.

The wind picks up the silence that seems to drag, the season's frigidness creeping along with it. A car honks in the distance, drowned by the tension between all three of us.

"I have not forgiven you."

Emeralds look away, stubbornness clearly etched in her eyes, but also a bit of humility.

"Michiru may have, but I definitely have not."

Haruka nods.

"And it's not because I hold grudges Haruka. I just want to make that clear. It wouldn't make sense for a time guardian to hold long grudges."

The tomboy smirks, mirroring Setsuna's sarcastic smile.

"You run." And just as their smiles appear, they're gone again. "You run the fastest, the longest, the furthest. You're the best runner I've ever seen and that's saying something. When you're done running, I will forgive you. And that time may be near, but it's not here yet." The long haired woman turns to me. "You too. You've always ran her pace. It's time you run your own."

She doesn't give us time to say a rebuttal and we stand there in the doorway far after she has gone. Only when lightning flashes in the distance and thunder accompanies it do I look up to just as stormy and conflicted green eyes.

Rain begins coming down, the air around us heavy with the smell of an incoming storm. My palm envelopes a warm waist, Haruka's attention finally on me.

"Does the offer still stand?" she asks softly, making my body move closer to hers inadvertently.

"Which?"

She breathes deeply, slowly, eyes flickering away. "Is a room still available?"

She doesn't see the surprise in my face, but it's certainly there.

"I just needed time to think it through," she continues, her forearm brushing my fingers as she pushes both hands into the depths of her pants pockets. "But if it's too late—

"There's always room for you."

I see her throat bob at my words, but a small smile follows.

"We should go in before we drench," she says, her half-bitten lip moist and making me inwardly swoon at how delicious it looks.

"Kay," I answer softly, move around her and open the door to my waiting daughter.

Tsubasa's right behind her, apprehension and curiosity in her face, while my daughter asks without fear of reprimand, "Is everything okay?"

I nod, placing a hand behind her head and stroking small wavy curls. "Everything's fine. Did you have your snack?"

"Didn't feel right."

I sense the pout in her voice and crouch to her level, similar eyes gazing at me sadly.

"Will we talk about it later?"

I nod. "There's something else I want to discuss with you as well."

She nods, still appearing hesitant.

"Go to your room and play with Tsubasa-chan. Haruka and I will bring in your snack."

She nods one more time before picking up her bag and moving up the stairs, soft whispers trailing her and her friend.

O-O

"Haaah!"

I smile, shaking my head while stirring the curry that'll be dinner.

"You're not very good at this Haruka."

"Real life racing and Mario Kart are—

"Mmhm, save it for when I care."

"Second place isn't that bad..."

"That what you said a week ago when that guy from Spain beat you?"

"Low blow!"

"Haru play nice," I chastise, peaking through the open area of the kitchen to my living area which currently housed four kids—Haruka including.

"Michiru, remember when I was actually good at video games?" the blonde asks, her voice floating through the room.

I giggle. "High school was a long time ago Haruka."

She leaves her spot on the floor between Toshi and Haru and sits on a barstool by the island, eyeing the pot hungrily.

"Fifteen more minutes," I answer the unasked question.

She sighs softly, a head coming down crossed arms on the island. I put the lid on the pot and join her, the children's laughter and competitive air loud, but pleasing to my ears.

"You still play Michiru?"

I nod, swaying on the barstool until I face the living room. "Every now and then, but only for recreation.

A pause before, "Do you regret it?"

I shake my head quickly. "There's only one thing I've ever regretted and Haru and everything that came with her is not it."

It's silent between us for a moment as I eye my child who's face is grave in concentration.

"Does she know?"

I smile at our little game of twenty questions, knowing what Haruka's cryptic question was entailing this time.

"I'll tell her when she's older."

"Does...the guy?"

"Daiki? Would it be bad if I say no?"

Surprise clearly paints her eyes as she shifts her chair until we're both facing the living room.

"Why not?"

"I tried. But for some reason, discretion always won. It should've been the first warning sign for me that our marriage wouldn't last."

I see her eyeing me so I turn her way, may face in askance to the worry I see there.

"Can we talk about it?"

I nod. "In due time. Not right now, but we will." I assure. "I'll be asking Haru about you staying over dinner. She'll tell her friends anyway so we might as well get it out of the way. She's been uneasy since Setsuna's departure. I don't think she's ever seen her aunt act that coldly."

"Should I talk to her about it?"

"If you'd like. I think she'd appreciate the gesture. Regardless of her age I like to treat her maturely and she knows it."

"Alright."

We watch them quietly for several more minutes until it was time to set the table.

O-O

"Haru-chan?"

Sapphires look up at me, as well as light blue and brown eyes. Emeralds continuously stare at a potato on her plate. It's nearing the end of dinner, and I felt it high time for the dreaded question.

"Haruka wanted to ask you a question." Said blonde dagger stares me at leaving her out to dry, but I only smile and continue, "I've already said yes, but if you disagree then I will fully adhere to your decision without question."

Her attention darts to Haruka who just placed her chopsticks down and is in the process of wiping her mouth with a napkin. It's silent for a moment before my partner looks up to questioning blue eyes and then sighs.

She turns to me. "She'll say no..."

I chuckle at the whine clearly evident in her voice.

"You're afraid of a ten year old saying no to you?" Haru asks, taking the question out of my mouth.

The tomboy huffs and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. That's dumb of me isn't it?"

"Nah," my daughter answers, waving her hand nonchalantly. "You just regard me highly," and before Haruka can reply to that, continues, "So, whaddya want?"

A pregnant pause before, "Can I stay here?"

Haru frowns for a moment, confused by the question.

"Like, stay..._here_...in your home," Haruka reiterates. "With you and Michiru. It's not permanent."

_Yes, it will be,_ I think to myself while drinking some water.

"Just until I can find a suitable place that doesn't have a reception and room service."

Sapphire eyes dart between me and my partner and her attention of the matter leaves me feeling nervous. I would like her to say yes, of course but if she says otherwise, we will do as she says as I assured her we would. The chair creaks under her as she leans back into it and eyes the wall behind me and Haruka thoughtfully. Then she nods, but a frown follows closely in tandem.

"One condition."

I don't realize I've stopped breathing and is just as still as Haruka next to me. A couple seconds pass and I note the impatience in the racer's countenance.

"And that is..." her husky voice trails.

Haru grins. "No instrument."

Haruka laughs and I couldn't help an exasperated one either. "Really Haru?"

"It's a pain mama," she grunts, stabbing a carrot.

"Eat properly."

She sighs, but does as she's told.

"Do you have an aversion to music or something?" my partner asks and I feel her posture relax.

"Aversion?"

"Dislike. It means you don't like something."

"Ooo I like the word. We're adding it to our vocab." My daughter's two friends nod in near unison to the request. "Yes, I have an aversion to it. Wait! No, never mind. I don't."

Haruka smirks. "Make up your mind."

"No, I don't. I just don't _care_ for it."

I mock hurt. "Really Haru, such harsh words for my life's passion."

"Sorry mama," she mumbles, but I only laugh it off to assure her what I've said is merely words. She looks back up from her plate with a sheepish smile. "I just don't think it's for me. I don't have patience for it. How did you Haruka? Piano and motorsports don't really go hand in hand."

Haruka laughs. "A compromise."

"Really?" Younger sapphires widen and stares at the blonde in bafflement. "Just like how mama is about instruments to me?"

"Haru-chan, it was an idea. I'm not forcing it on you."

"Yes, yes," she agrees absentmindedly, her attention back to my friend. "So you were forced?"

Haruka's eyes twinkle in amusement. "Yeah, it was a compromise between me and my parents. They didn't like the idea of me and vehicles, but they couldn't stop me regardless of the grounding and fencing in so they figured maybe if they attracted my attention to something more feminine, it'll change my outlook in life." She shrugs. "Didn't change anything."

"So why'd you keep playing?"

A brief look of hurt passes through Haruka's eyes, so instantaneous that it's missed by the eager face of my child and her friends.

"Because Haruka's stubborn," I answer and we lock eyes, mine one of mischief and hers confusion before relief. "Give her a challenge and she won't back down."

The tomboy smirks at my words, shrugs, but simultaneously agrees.

"Haru-chan would be too stubborn to keep doing it," Tsubasa says suddenly allowing an elbow nudge. She glares at my daughter. "It's true."

"Yep," Toshi agrees before getting an elbow to his ribs as well.

"But back to the main, _main_ point. If mama doesn't press the instrument issue anymore, I will be totally fine with you staying Haruka."

Haruka laughs, eyeing me. "Will you press the issue Michiru?"

I sigh, pushing my empty plate away. "I guess not."

"This'll be great," Haru says with a grin.

"And why's that?"

"We can so double team mama Haruka."

The tomboy gives an uneasy look. "I don't know Haru..."

"It'll work."

"You know, I've lived with Michiru before. She _knows_ how to get her way."

I laugh, pushing the tomboy playfully as I get up. Glad that it's over and my daughter's appeased, I start gathering everyone's plates in a stack while they follow closely and help.

O-O

"A fort?"

Haru nods. "We saw it in a movie once and always wanted to try it."

Haruka shrugs, getting eager looks from all the children before her. "It sounds a bit glorified. You know it's just pulling a bunch of chairs, possibly a table, tying blankets and getting under them right?"

"Do adults' imaginations just leave them at a certain age or is it locked away somewhere deep in your brains?" my daughter asks rather rhetorically. "Cuz if that's the case, I really don't wanna grow up."

I chuckle and ease into the ottoman, my partner looking up at me in exasperation. I just shrug at her plight and place my attention to the previews rolling in a Disney movie we had just started playing.

"Alright," she grunts, causing a snicker to come out of me. She dagger stares me once more before going back to eager, young faces. "Blankets, we need a lot of them. Toshi, you and I will get the dining chairs to use as props for the blankets. We'll also need duct tape and a high centrifugal point."

"Unhook one of the lamps," I offer, looking back and chuckling at the confused faces of my child and her friends.

"Centr...what?"

The racer sighs. "Never mind, just bring me the stuff."

"No I wanna know what it means!"

"And I want to rest, but neither of us is getting what we want until you get what you really want, so let's make this fort."

Haru growls and stalks off to the coat closet with Tsubasa for extra blankets and the tape while Toshi and Haruka start pulling the chairs from the dining room to the living room. The movie begins playing, but I instead watch them, and a warmth comes over me that I can't really place. They're all deep in concentration, Haruka in the middle with the highest standing lamp we have in the house and placing a white blanket over it while directing Toshi and Haru to place chairs at an angle to it so the blanket could be placed over them. Tsubasa is on her own and laying bigger comforters on the floor underneath the would-be fort while getting my best-friend's nod of approval.

A couple minutes into this and I join the tugging and pulling of blankets, tapes, and chairs, until a half an hour finally passes and we have a pretty decent white fort in the middle of my living room. The pleased smiles the children wore and Haruka's look of relief makes the scene that much more warming.

"It only fits three," Toshi points out.

Haru shrugs. "Sorry Haruka. No room for you."

But my partner can only laugh and shake her head. "It's fine. I wasn't planning on joining. I'm gonna jet."

My crestfallen reaction is shared between all the children.

"No!"

"What?"

"Stay!"

Haruka scratches the back of her head. "It's getting a bit late..."

My daughter grabs her wrist and tries mightily to pull her down into the fort, but the blonde only laughs and pulls her to her instead, growls and chuckles emitting from the two of them as they fall and wrestle on the floor.

"Guys!" Haru yells between pants and growls. "Help! Pull her in!"

More laughter issues from Haruka as the other two children join in and finally, successfully gets her in the makeshift fort as well, her arms still around my daughter's and in the process of slamming her, albeit softly, into one of the comforters. A couple more minutes and four heads are sticking out of the door frame of the fort, everyone on a prone position except Haru who is sitting on Haruka's back.

Forty five minutes since the start of their little request and everyone's finally watching, Haru's loud, "What'd we miss?" shared by everyone in the vicinity.

O-O

We're in the middle of the third movie: Kamen Rider: Return to the Realm of Eternal Rain, when it's finally safe to say that the children are all asleep. Haruka was able to get out of the fray in the ending of the second movie by expressing the job of putting the third movie in and looked all too relieved when they let her and didn't mind that she didn't come back to them, so long as she didn't leave the vicinity.

She stretches in the seat in front of me, her exasperated and rather tired smile endearing to my eyes.

"Thank you for the fort," I say quietly, just enough for her to hear.

She gets up from the sofa and walks over to me with a grin. "You're daughter's a handful. How do you keep up?"

"I chalk it up to leftover senshi energy. I'm not quite sure how other mothers do it though."

She laughs, putting her hands casually into her pockets. Her eyes glance at the exit warily. "I should go."

I get up from my seat and reach my hand out for her to take. She looks at me in confusion for a moment before taking my hand and allowing me to pull her up the stairs.

"Michiru?" she asks after a couple minutes of silence.

I pull her closer to me so that we're walking together instead of me in the front, her palms soft, yet calloused in certain places.

"I just want to show you a couple of things before you leave," I answer and open the door closest to Haru's room.

She looks around, acknowledging quickly that this is one of the guest quarters and it'll be hers if she wants it.

"Looks fine," she states and angles her head to look at a walk in closet and a private bathroom attached to it. "Looks kinda grand to be honest."

I just shrug. "Nothing the other rooms don't have. If you need help moving in this weekend I wouldn't mind helping. I'm sure Haru and her friends won't mind tagging along either."

Haruka looks at me uneasily. "I don't want to have to impose on everyone's weekend..."

I laugh and pull her out of the room and start heading in mine. "You seem to misunderstand. Being Haru's new hero has a lot of responsibilities. And unlike a cartoon character, you're real to her so it's not just a matter of turning on the television and watching you for thirty minutes to satiate her curiosity."

"Sounds a lot like her mother..."

I hold her hand tighter at her cheeky reply, but she can see my smirk from the dimly lit hallway.

"And so, where are we headed to next?" she asks as I open my bedroom door.

I can tell that she notices the room's mine just from the decor as the lights brighten it.

"That talk you wanted. I believe it's about time we have it."

I let go of her hand and walk over to the edge of my bed to sit down. She follows suit momentarily until we're both sitting, me on the bottom with my back on the foot rest, while she's casually leaning on the headrest, one of my pillows propped behind her for comfort.

She nods at my statement, but I see unrest in her eyes, and it makes me wonder, where's a good place to really start?

It's quiet and the storm outside has turned to pounding rain and wind, the branches from the tree outside my window creaking against the force of nature. It serves to make the silence between us at least not so palpable.

"Do you know how Daiki and I met?"

Emeralds glancing at a painting to the side darts to me, a silence shake of the head the only thing I get from her.

"Concert attendee. At the time he was a TA for Akagi High School in Ibaraki and he liked how I played so he came to a concert."

"A bit hard for a TA to do," my partner suddenly states, eyes dragging around the room once more. The crease in her forehead and dejected tone isn't missed by me.

I nod. "Yes, it was. I saw him at a charity gala that I participated in and that is how we really met."

"Another thing that would also be difficult for a regular TA to get into..."

The bitterness is still there.

"His father's a director of a hospital. We met through him."

"Ahh, sou? Explains a couple things."

"Is there a reason why you're so on the offensive about him?"

She faces me, anger clearly evident in her posture. "Him cheating on you isn't reason enough?"

I straighten up as well. "And if I were to tell you that when I found out, I didn't care would you still be so affected by it?"

She looks away, biting her bottom lip. "Ridiculous, why wouldn't you?"

"Because I drove him to it."

She gets up in one motion, her smirk leer and sarcastic. Sweeping her hair out of her eyes, she looks poised and ready to attack.

"Please sit back down."

"You know, you keep saying it's your fault," she says lowly, leaning into the wall and making a loud thud as she does so. "And I'll ask again, cuz I hate it when women always sound like the victim. Did you push his dick to the direction of another woman?"

"No. But I stopped pushing his dick in mine."

The venom in my words is clear and loud, and Haruka falters at the anger in my countenance she isn't expecting. I get up as well, shoulders feeling tense and my eyes unable to meet her surprised ones.

"When he asked me to marry him, I said yes because I genuinely thought that I loved him. At the time, I can safely say that I did because he could make me forget about certain things that I wanted to forget. Even during the time that Haru was born, I was still in love with him. But..." I trail off, feeling the helplessness I had felt once upon a time—when I was married, but hadn't given my all to it.

I blink hard and stare at a carved cabinet. "But regardless of his presence, of anyone else's, there's always something missing. He _tried_ to be that one, because he knew deep down that he didn't have all of me. But he couldn't...He just wasn't enough, and instead of him and Haru being the center of my universe, it only became Haru because I didn't want to lie to him anymore, but I didn't want to hurt our daughter because of my selfishness."

My hands have balled to the point where my nails scratched through flesh, but I couldn't discern it from the relentless throbbing in the pit of my stomach. Talking feels like a difficult task from the consistent lump in my throat and I fear the room's gotten blurry from unshed tears.

I crumble back onto the edge of the bed, feeling my knees grow weak and the anger disappearing. In its place is something I didn't want even more, because sadness and depression is so much harder to conceal, while anger just takes a twitch of muscles, a fake smile, which I've become so used to giving.

My cold hand grasps my temples, pushing back tears that I've assured myself I wouldn't let fall. My vision is dark within its confines, unable to look at Haruka—fearing what I might see if I did. "Six months into Haru's birth and I knew something was wrong with me. Daiki and the doctors chalked it up to postpartum depression, but I knew that wasn't it."

The same feeling I felt back then washes me now, minimal in comparison to long trying nights when crying in isolation felt like the only option. When I knew Daiki stopped being just good enough and my attention was spent between taking care of Haru and shutting myself in my office, my company ranging from old recorded videos, foreign newspaper clippings, a torn page from the guestbook of my wedding day with the words:_ You look beautiful_ in neat, straight, familiar lines and a card with the same writing with the word: _Grats_, taken from the hospital's window seat that I noticed to be new as soon as I woke the next day.

Empty. My life had felt so empty. Without Haru there...I always wondered if I was strong enough by myself to make it through.

"A chunk of my life," I say quietly, praying my voice wouldn't crack from the resilient lump in my throat. "was missing. I knew what it was, but I didn't know how to retrieve it. I knew where I could find it, but I didn't feel like I was important enough to just go to it, and say so."

My hand falls, makes a dull thud on the mattress and the noise outside follows the storm raging in my system to such a tee that I smile at the irony of it all. And I suddenly feel it. Warm arms, a hitched breath in my ear, fingers into unkempt hair, a comforting, familiar body covering mine, and a husky voice, "I'm sorry I wasn't there," reiterating over and over to such a degree that I couldn't help the tears from falling any longer.

Haruka holds me, as I've dreamt she would, her apology in streams, in tandem to aggravated palms hitting her shoulder and chest as she pulls me closer to her. My mouth lets out a low growl, inadvertent, fully relying on instinct and sheer built up frustration, hands hurt from hitting the dense tomboy in front of me and pulling her against me instead in a rough hug.

She holds on to wracking shoulders, willing for silent tears to continue and promising to never leave.

Time holds still and passes simultaneously, until the tears have subsided and the silence is once again swallowed by continuous rainfall. Watery emeralds look up at me, arms securing the base of my back tightly and her knees grounded to the floor. We can only look at each other, my fingers trailing a youthful face that belies her true age, yet one look at her eyes and I know exactly how old she must feel.

_About as old as I do..._

I close my eyes and sigh, and when I open them again, I can't look at her as I ask the question. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

She stops breathing completely, her entire body stiff and still. Silence rages until I look back up and see disbelief painting her visage.

I sigh once more, cupping warm cheeks into my palms. "You must've known how I felt about you."

She begins breathing once more, but it's shallow and quick. Pain flashes quickly through her eyes and she begins to curl back but I hold her still.

"Stop running."

My words blare her out of her stupor, her jaws clamping and an anger coming from her out of reflex.

"I wasn't the one who married someone else."

Her words cut me deeply and painfully, but I keep my fingers curled on her shirt to keep her still.

"I married Daiki because I thought it was the only chance at love I could get..." I say through clenched teeth. "Because my bullheaded best-friend couldn't see that I was madly in love with her and chose to flirt and date the rest of Japan's female population, but didn't look at what was under her nose. Because...the only time that I was able to tell her how I feel was a month after my proposition, in the middle of cold feet and second thoughts, when she's just come back from abroad, but before that was a bar, and she decides to go drinking and a pit crew member drove her home because she was too wiped to do it herself, and she tells me she loves me in a slur, drunken talk, kisses me, forgets about it the next day and the next time I see her she's leaving my wedding after a six minute attendance."

Haruka freezes under me.

"I tried calling you, but you never answered. I wanted to sort our feelings out, but you never came back home. You left...without saying anything." I look down and feel the anxiety I've felt back then coat my words. "You ran...You've been running since then." I look back up, my eyes as clear as my words. "And I've acknowledged that. I know that you need time and space, so I gave it to you. I know...we could've spoken after my separation with Daiki, but you weren't ready and neither was I. I've been waiting for you to come home to me this entire time. But if you still need your space, I'll give it to you.

"Ten years is nothing. I can't love anyone else. I can't lie to myself or to another person about how I feel. I'll just be waiting for you. I've always been."

Her expression is that of a little girl who's lost and about to cry, and I don't want her to because I know I'll cry again if she starts to. And I know that she'll be angry at herself for dragging this for too long, but again I won't let her because I'm not a big fan of self-inflicting pain, especially if it's Haruka to herself. But I know it's been too long of a night, and I know my house far too much to not discern a small creak in the stairway, so I bend down and kiss her, and the small touch of lips warms me, fills me, and even though she's still too stunned to reply, I know she'll answer me in due time.

She swallows roughly as I pull back, a blush painting her cheeks and giving me a delirious sense of high. "Mi—

I cut her off with a finger and a small smile. "Don't make me wait too long," I whisper, get up, and out of her embrace.

A second later, and a knock issues from my door, my daughter opening it in tandem. I hear Haruka get up quickly from her kneeling position on the floor as I near my child who looks at both of us in confusion.

"Everything okay?" she asks tiredly, rubbing sapphires endearingly as she does so.

I kneel to her and kiss a smooth forehead. "Everything's fine. Haruka and I was just talking. Why're you up?"

"Went to pee and noticed you were gone."

I smile widely and embrace her, getting up and carrying her as I do so. She wraps both arms and legs around me and rests her head on my shoulders, intent on going back to the world of dreams. I look back to Haruka from the doorway and give a smile to her apologetic and still lost expression.

"Stay the night."

She nods.

O-O-O-O-O

The noise and the energy around us is exciting, and the more I watch, the more sure I am that I want to do this. Haruka chuckles next to me.

"That good huh?"

I look up at her, emeralds shining in mirth, so different from how I've seen her countless times on television, regardless of how good and big our TV is back home. Her smile...looks different. But I remember her question and nod.

"This is amazing Haruka!"

She laughs once more, the sound of it drowned by incoming bikes.

The races are short in time, but several in the number of attendees so we get a fairly decent sized amount of races. By the end of it, Haruka stays true to her words, lets me meet Yamada-san and then we help with the clean up, the fact that I'm the only girl there catching other people's eyes and giving me another emotion for the day: irritation.

Two or so hours later and we head back into Haruka's sports car, the older tomboy aware of my sudden mood change. She picks me up as my feet slosh on some mud, swinging me rather easily onto her back and offering a piggy back ride silently, making me laugh a bit at how easy it is to be around her. She notices the dirt my shoes imprint on her shirt, but pays no attention to it.

"What's wrong?" she instead asks, passes her car, and makes way to an ice cream truck.

"Whaddya mean?" I ask back, but sigh as I did so, leaning a tired head on strong shoulders.

She looks back at me knowingly. "This is your first test you know," she says cryptically. "You should know by now that sports in general aren't keen on women participating. It's gotten better, but times don't change that easily. Don't let it get to you. In the end, it's you against them and nothing tastes better than you getting that trophy instead."

I grin at her words, her face matching mine, and I feel better at the situation. We both get ice cream with her still carrying me easily on her back and we return to the empty stands. Only a few people loitered, most have gone home.

We sit quietly for a bit, the chilly wind tossing our short hairs and my attention drifting to hers and at the empty track; she suddenly seems distant and in her own place.

"Haruka," I call and she looks at me attentively, the look from earlier gone.

She's a good actress.

"How long have you known mama?"

She's surprised at my question and looks in front of her thoughtfully. "We met in junior high."

I nod, a bit impressed. I've asked that question before and all of my other aunts knew her when she was already in high school. "Wow, that's a long time."

"Yeah," she agrees absentmindedly.

"Do you remember how she was like when she and you were young?"

She nods, eyes taking her faraway. "Your mama...words can't describe I guess..."

I pause for a moment, a frown taking over my face at her soft, automatic responses. "Do you like her?"

She twitches, ice cream cone falling from her fingertips and smashing into unappetizing bits on the wooden stands. Emeralds are wide as she stares at me in shock.

"N...no! What?"

My frown deepens and I nudge my ice cream cone for her to hold. She does so, confused at first as I get up from my seat and stand in front of her, my cold hands holding too warm cheeks and forcing her attention to only me.

"Do you like my mama?"

I see her fighting with herself, and I don't understand because it's a simple question that deserves a simple answer. Then finally, she nods, but not before swallowing roughly.

"Yes."

I breathe deeply and snatch my ice cream back from her grasp, biting on the waffle cone as she continues to stare at me in confusion.

"Does she know?" My eyes focus on a lone tree, its branches naked with no traces of leaves.

"Yes...kind of."

I sigh deeply once more. "It's either a yes or no question Haruka."

"It's a bit complicated, little one."

I smirk at the sudden pet name. "How can it be complicated?" I ask with a shrug. "If you like her, all she has to do is answer to it right? If she says no, tough luck. If she says yes, that's usually the happily ever after part from my bedtime stories, right?"

"You're really perceptive for a ten year old, do you realize that?"

I wave her words away with an added eye roll. "My many aunts say I get it from mama, but _anyways..._" I look back at her, and I see the confusion still in her eyes. "I'm not used to sharing mama," I say pointedly, getting to my point because I don't like to drag things. "I did before, but now he's gone, and I don't remember him."

"Would you like to?"

"No. You're getting further from the point I'm trying to make."

She chuckles exasperatingly at my sudden and automatic reply.

I sigh, getting angrier because our talk has taken a turn to a point that's still sore to me when it didn't have to. "He's a stranger. He...you know he comes every year for my birthday?" This little information surprises her and I can tell. "He...brings over gifts and smiles at me like he knows me, but he doesn't. He...he has the nerve to complain about my short hair and the way I act and the way I talk. And what does he know about me? What does he know about what I want? He gave me a doll last year and I couldn't wait to burn it cuz it looked so creepy—

"Haru..."

"So no, I don't want to get to know him. He's...my father. But he's not. He should've tried harder. He has his own family. He has a wife, two children. Much younger than me, but who really cares? They probably like to play with dolls, but I don't. Don't mix me with other people!"

Strong arms engulf me and I just stand there, stiff and in the verge of crying, but wanting to act tough because this is Haruka I'm speaking to and I can't look weak in front of my idol: who has come into my life so quickly, melting into my way of living so easily, catching my mother so effortlessly, that I feel like I need to know her, appease her, and hate her, all at the same time.

She holds me for a few minutes, my wrist coming up to swipe at my runny nose and eyes and I see her smile amidst the blur, pull her shirt over to me and clean my face up.

"You're different," I say quietly, making her pause in mid-action as she finishes. "Mama...she sees you differently. She doesn't look at anyone else the way she does with you...so...please, don't hurt her." My hands ball into tight fists. "If you do, I won't forgive you."

She stares up at me with a sad frown before nodding, my ice cream melted, forgotten, and next to hers on the floor.

AN: Here's part two. If it's not obvious already, the last person's perspective that I put into the chapter is who I'll be focusing on mainly for the next chapter's POV. So the last and final bit is going to be Haru's. I hope the wait wasn't too long, and surprisingly, Haru's perspective is easy to write so hopefully I can write it quicker. Michiru's just so hard for me portray it's almost painful. Sorry for any OOC. Reading people's reviews made me laugh because I think a lot of people were expecting for Michiru to still be married, but...she's not. So...sorry if that drama aspect wasn't added. Wow...Kamen Rider exists in real life. I just found out right now after a small google search so...a disclaimer for that...The movie they were watching isn't real though...as far as I know. The realm of eternal rain reference is from FFIX though...okay disclaimer for that too. Japanese words: yada means no way, ahh sou means really or is that so? I think that's it right?

SHonS: Yes, I am back with more goodies. Hopefully I can remain to be back with even more goodies.

Chumba wumba: :) I miss reading reviews too. Michi is definitely into girls...although if I can be honest about my perspective on that, I've never thought of Michiru liking women. Am I making sense right now? Cuz...well, Haruka likes women. This is for sure. She was a total flirt in the anime, but with Michiru you never really see this. The most she did was flirt with Seiya, and he had male genitalia when she was checking him out, so I dunno. My only conclusion: she only loves Haruka. :D I like that conclusion.

CoOkiE86: Hahahah "if everything goes to hell it's because of Haruka's stubbornness". Great insight. :( I feel sad that people feel they had to wait so long to read something of mine, but the blame can only be pointed to me, da ne? A year...or two...sounds long. I'll try not to make it like that...especially not this one.

Rayar: I love writing/reading a fanfic on our favorite pairing. Unfortunately there's not enough to satiate my thirst for them when I just want to read what other people have concocted. Haruka's no longer by herself, but is yet to still go all the way. I'm sure with Haru's help, it shall be done.

Tripower: Haha, rest assure as I've said before, I like my happy endings. Death fics, break up fics, somehow she doesn't love her anymore fics...they're not my forte. At times I feel that portion of my writing is not so believable. Because people go through things like that...it's only a part of life, so they say. But...I like my happy worlds I create so /shrug. If anyone has a problem w/ it, they can make their own fic right? I adore your inspirational drawings. :D Thank you for making it.

itou: Favorite writer? /blush. Michiru explains why she married Daiki, but I'm not sure if her explanation satiated the readers. Haru...feels like a mini Haruka...which really, is just too cute to pass up right?

senshixxl: hello, reader-san, glad to be back. I'm sorry I depressed you. It must be something I do inadvertently. This chappy explains the reasons for the distance in the first one, but rest assure it won't end so hangingly in the third. The husband has been disposed of, but I don't believe he's gone and out for the count. My mind is twisting him into existence as we speak. Michiru got double teamed upon Haruka meeting her daughter and this teaming up will occur more in the third chappy. A happy ending? Is there...an alternative ending except a happy one?

lostinhersong: A legend? I think you've made the blush permanent on my face for at least a day with that comment, but I'm glad you enjoyed it, albeit the feeling of heartbreaks and such. Thank you for the comment and I hope you enjoy this one as well.

petiyaka: I'M BACK! :) thanks for the review and comments and I hope the chapter satiates your curiosity at least until the next chapter.

FaintFiction: Smile, smile, smile. Sad Haruka equals a just as sad Michiru since they share souls and all. I'm glad you like it so far and I hope you like this one as well.

shetan83: Michiru loving Haruka, a vain hope? NO! NO WAI! Michiru loves her to a fault, imo. But anyway, thank you for the review and I hope, your hope doesn't still feel vain.

Swinging Cloud: I've been playing FFVII recently...and Cloud swinging his swords suddenly made me think of you. Is that strange? I'll stop. Hey pal! How dare you mock me with your "see you in six months" guilt trip. It hasn't been another six months since the last one! TAKE IT BACK! Ahem...writing with the intent of breaking people's hearts...I like to think I can I think...so...hmm...maybe that's my answer to near and dear fics? Look at me. NO at ME. I see YOU. Gosh avatar...so pocahontasy...was a pretty good movie though right?

omnomnom: hahahaha...ahh...world of warcraft reference name. I'm kinda glad some people who play that game actually knows sailor moon too...in this sense anyway. Updated :3 oh! A reflex question...for the horde? And...if this isn't...a wow reference and I just made a fool of myself...please, don't mind me. still though FOR THE HORDE!

RubyNury: Tadaima /bow. Gosh, talk about making me blush with endless comments and praises! :) I'm glad you like the story so far, and I know I've been a bit rare lately. Real life...is just so taxing at times. I need to take a class on time management or something. Haruka's perspective was sad, but I feel Michiru's even more-so. I hope you don't cry, but if you happen to do so I'm all grins :D Thanks for remembering me and I hope you like this one as well.

AlterEgoErin: Glad to be back :) And there are other great authors here. You just need to look harder methinks. Home...I like that song. Sorry for not explaining the Japanese at the end. I sometimes figure that since Sailor Moon's a Japanese anime that a lot of people know the basic terms, so I apologize for not explaining at the end. Michiru starting a family wasn't so bad. You can't imagine how much I shudder at reading other fics and she's with a guy...and then I do it...I'm a hypocrite. You're close to Haru's name...cut off a syllable and we're there :) Glad you liked it, and here's some more.

poipoi-chan: :) here's your next update.

Mantaray: I am all for coming back and entertaining, although I felt with how the first chapter went, the category for drama/romance is a bit fitting. Haruka...I made her pretty stubborn didn't I? :D Glad my writing is still okay and thank you for waiting patiently for an update.

yourfan: She was lonely :( I'm sorry she married someone else other than Haruka. And you know me too well to know that it'll be a happy ending. I shall supply!

royal stone: Haha, I squeal too when an author I like updates, so I can share the sentiment. Unfortunately, there just isn't enough H&M fics out there is there? Let's populate it! Glad you liked reading HP and FwB and yes...novel sized fics are the best to write and read. Cuz really, when I read a good fic, I don't want it to end right? And novel sized fics...well they end somehow, but at least not as soon as short ones. I'll try to write more so your waiting won't be so long :)

Vixzer: You know, the last review that I get, usually gives me the motivation I need to continue and finish a fic :) so thank you for a nice review. I'm glad you thought Haruka's perspective isn't OOC...I try, and Haruka's is always so much easier than Michiru's and I'm afraid I may have failed in that aspect in this chapter. Regardless of the matter thank you for the comments and I hope this chapter lives up to certain expectations.


	3. Recompense

Chapter Three: Recompense

"Haru, do you realize that was a weird thing for you to ask?"

I blink up at Haruka as she looks me over seriously, and I race through my mind to think over what she's talking about.

"Liking mama?" I hazard a guess and she chuckles lowly before nodding. "Why's that weird? Mama says it's natural to like someone— sometimes the feelings are just stronger for other people than some."

She's baffled at my words and I beam at the fact that somehow I've made an impression. Then she chuckles again before ruffling my hair playfully.

"Very well said," she comments and looks in the distance again.

I note her faraway expression and frown, the feeling of wanting her attention again suddenly seizing me. I ask abruptly, "But why would liking mama be weird?"

Blonde eyebrows knit together, the racer's look a bit perturbed. She has an expression my mama wears a lot: the look that says she wants to explain something, but will probably edit it for my sake. A bout of silence passes that's not disturbed and I sigh in impatience.

She smiles amusedly as she looks at my waiting countenance.

"You have a way of making me feel really awkward, you know that?"

I grunt loudly, annoyed that she just wouldn't answer and instead reverts to the tiptoeing method. "Why is it so hard for grown-ups to just spit it out?"

"We edit things to protect you, little one. Like it or not when we say you'll understand when you grow up, we actually mean it."

"Okay, just this once then, explain it as if I was actually grown-up, old, and boring."

"Ouch..."

I drum at her legs with both fists in irritation. "Come on Haruka!"

"Alright, alright," she concedes, chuckling and sighing softly. She frowns, looking unsure. "It just doesn't feel right that I should be the one breaking these things to you."

"Where do babies come from?"

She gives me a cross look that I just laugh loudly at.

"Now you're just being a pain."

She pokes my side, forcing a giggle as I swat her hand away. "But seriously now," I say, trying to compose myself and save a tickle war I know I would lose in. "Why's it a big deal?"

"Have you ever liked someone?"

"This isn't about me."

Emerald eyes roll in an obvious, slow manner. "It'll help the process if you answer it."

"Then no, not really. All the boys are icky in my class."

"What about the girls?"

I search my mind. "Never really thought of them. Am I supposed to?"

"NO!" Her palm grazes her face momentarily. "No...see? That's normal. You looking at the boys, but not the girls. That's...normal."

"I don't really look at anyone though," I say with a shrug. Seeing her apprehension in the topic is making me worry oddly enough. "I play sports with the boys and the only girl I really play with is Tsubasa cuz she's different. She's not afraid to go outside her bubble and that makes her cool. Plus mama likes her."

"Alright. Ever kissed anyone then?"

"That's a bit private isn't it?"

She laughs, deep and low. "Aww the fake grown-up can't stand role playing anymore?"

I dagger stare her cooing face. "Fine, no."

"No on role playing?"

"On kissing, stupid. Plus that seems icky..."

"You'd be surprised...But well, okay. Here's the main point. I'm a woman. Your mother's a woman. Two women being together isn't normal. That's why it was a question I didn't really want to answer abruptly."

I frown and try to digest her words, but for the life of me can't understand why it would matter. "Is it wrong? Illegal?"

She shakes her head. "No, neither of the two. It's just...society has deemed it abnormal, so I guess in some people's eyes it's wrong. It's just like two guys being together."

I stop myself from asking why two guys being together is wrong too.

"I...guess I kind of get it."

I'm hopelessly lost.

She chuckles and puts a warm arm around me. "As I said before, you'll understand a bit more when you're older."

"Would I understand it better if I kiss a girl?"

"Noooooooooo."

I look at her weirdly. "Then why'd you ask if I kissed anyone before?"

"Experience makes all the difference."

"So it does."

"No, don't go around kissing random people left and right..."

"Pshh, that's gross. Why would I do that?"

"Just a precautionary statement in case you get crazy ideas."

"So...since mama likes you and you like her and all, does that mean you get to be my new papa—or...mama?"

Emerald eyes widen, her jaw slackening at my apparently too abrupt words. I suddenly want to take them back, disappointed with myself that I obviously said something I shouldn't have again. But really, is it my fault that I actually like her? That she's the only person out of the countless that looks at mama like she's not a prize or trophy at the end of a race? I cringe at the bubbling emotion in my chest and the desire to leave becomes a priority before the prickling in my eyes follow.

"Never mind," I manage to choke out before getting up. I start my way down the rows of wooden seats, head downcast and fists balling inadvertently when a strong hand grips my arm. I look cautiously back to her still anxious expression.

"Haru...I'm happy you feel that way towards me," she says softly and I see the sincerity and gratefulness in her sparkling eyes. And then her eyes lower, the frown deepening and I see her self-worth shatter before me. "But I feel undeserving for that title right now." She looks back up, the pain and disappointment in her expression clear. She tries to smile. "I'm glad you can assimilate me quickly in your life. I...feel proud cuz I must've done something right. But—

"So what can I do to make you feel deserving?"

"No, no. It's...not up to you. Just...time I guess. You barely know me—

"That shouldn't matter," I mutter. Cool hands envelope my cheeks and forcing me to look up at a smiling tomboy.

"What do you know about me? Minus the bios from racing and everything else that comes with my career."

We lock eyes for a period of time, until my eyes droop to her chin and down to her collar where looking doesn't feel as uncomfortable. Her hands follow suit.

"I know...that you're different from all the others," I say softly, my mind rewinding to just a couple of months back at a charity gala my mother and I was invited to. I think back to the men and shudder inwardly at the thought of their actions. "They can't even read what she wants, let alone me," I mutter, replaying the vivid night in my head. "She was trying so hard to push them back without being rude because she knew I was starting to get uncomfortable, but they just couldn't get it. They shower her and me with gifts to win us over, but in the end, no one bothered to really understand what we wanted."

I look back up to attentive, concerned emeralds.

"I want mama to be happy. She wants me to be happy. It's not...rocket science. They can't make her happy, so I'm not happy. I know my mama more than anyone in this world. She says I'm perceptive, but I got it from paying attention to her. I know when she's angry or sad or when something's wrong. Ever since _he_ left I felt it was my job to make it so that we're enough for each other. But...you should really open your eyes and look at her because she's amazing Haruka."

The racer smiles softly and nods amidst the sad frown still on her face.

"And if you look closely enough, you'll see how much she likes you...cuz I did. What do I know about you? You...can make my mama happy, just by being around her. I haven't ever seen her completely happy until she let me meet you. And she never lets me meet anyone. They barge in. They're never invited. You were."

I look back down. "That should be enough."

I see her breathe deeply, sense the smile that's still in her face and the accompanying frown waning. A bout of rebellious anger sparks within me and I look up seriously to her face.

"If you still feel undeserving, let me help you feel like you deserve her then."

I smirk as she sees the sudden challenge light my eyes, and she smiles wider in accordance to them. I roll my words over my head, thinking of the best way to begin. I smirk, knowing already that it may be a bit hard to start off that way.

"We...can start with Setsuna oba-san."

Haruka laughs.

"What did you do to her? I've never seen her so cold..."

The mirth in her face dances and I see the mischief there as well. "I...went to Michiru's wedding and stayed for about six minutes before leaving."

"Mama's your best friend right?"

She nods.

"Why did you do that to her?"

"Hence, why Setsuna's mad at me."

"You're stupid."

"Thanks for pointing it out so hollowly."

We smirk at one another. "Well...there's one thing you need to do. Cuz mama and Suna ba-san hang out a lot. I don't think I can stand her being all cool and standoffish whenever she and you are in the same room. What else?"

"Hotaru as well."

I look at her in surprise. "Nee-chan? What did you do to her?"

"We...we're a family. Michiru, me, Setsuna, Hotaru. We're a family. And...I broke that."

Her smile wanes, the disappointment back and in full force. I don't want it.

"Then let's go to her now."

Her eyes widen once more.

"It's dinnertime soon and the museum closes at six on Sundays. We can go see her and afterwards all of us can have dinner. Mama'll be happy to see you two together and I'm sure nee-chan wants to see you. She's just waiting for the opportunity to."

I feel her apprehension and am pleasantly surprised when she nods and gets up quickly and in anticipation.

"Yeah, let's do that."

I grin at her childlike excitement.

O-O

Nee-san has always been the mystery I've never bothered to solve. See, she's old, but not as old as mama or Suna ba-san. If I remember it right, her birthday is coming and she's still in her mid-twenties, so it gets me wondering how she could've fit in with the big age gap. How did they know one another? And...I never bothered asking why it seems almost automatic for her to call my mama her mama before she catches herself and changes her words, although I still notice how she cringes when she calls her with her first name. I look up at Haruka who has an uneasy look across a smooth face, her hands coming in and out of her pockets in what could only look as nervousness oozing out of her exterior.

"Haruka."

She looks down at me, her eyes never betraying her frayed nerves.

"When did you meet Nee-san?"

"In high school."

"When she was in high school?"

She shakes her head. "No, when Michiru and I were in high school."

"So...you met her when she was in elementary school?"

She pauses for a second, her eyes blinking and looking away confusedly. "We...knew her father."

"Oh," I say and nod in a small bout of understanding. "Did you have to babysit her?"

Why does she look even more nervous now with me asking questions? I tug at her loose fingers so she looks my way, which she does in a couple seconds.

"Yeah...we kind of had to babysit her. Tomoe-san was sick. He had a lab accident in our old high school and he couldn't take care of her so...Setsuna, Michiru, and I did him a sort of favor and took care of her while he was recuperating. Have you met her father?"

I nod, noting the abrupt change of subject. "Yeah. So...is that why she sometimes calls my mama her mama?"

Emeralds widen before looking away to the other end of the block. "Guess so," she can only say in a constricted voice.

"You're hiding something."

"Am not," she refutes childishly and messes my hair with a quick swipe. I bat strong hands away, smiling at the sound of low, husky laughter coming out of her. "And even then, she also calls Setsuna mama."

I have to admit that that's right. "Okay, good point." I look up at her and smirk. "Does she call _you_ mama?"

The tall racer gives me a low dagger stare and looks back up as one of the many doors of the entrance of the museum opens. A few people walk out, but not the one we're waiting for. I grab Haruka's hand and drag her to a fountain at the side where we can sit at its edges, the biting wind picking up and giving me inadvertent goose bumps. She eyes me for a moment as I stuff my hands in my coat pocket and crush my arms into my body, looking up at an overcast sky and wondering if it'll rain tonight.

"You cold, little one?" she asks softly.

I keep my teeth from chattering just so I don't look that pathetic. "A little," I admit, making her laugh loudly. I roll my eyes. "If you're not gonna do anything about it, why do you ask?"

"On a need to know basis," she jokes before putting both hands under my armpits and carrying me to her lap, finishing with wrapping warm arms around my body and resting her chin on top of my head.

I'm about to protest, but the cold is suddenly mostly gone so I shut up and accept it.

"You know, there's a lot of things we wanna tell you. So hurry up and grow already."

I smile at the rumbling sound of her throat at my ears and squirm in my seat. "I'm trying as hard as I can."

The door opens once more and finally, Hotaru comes out. I want to dash to her, but I'm pretty comfortable at my spot on Haruka's lap so I yell out to her instead, and her face is genuinely surprised at seeing both of us there. I feel Haruka swallow loudly behind me and I pat her hand around my shoulder to hopefully calm her nerves. Nee-san treks to us and I see that she looks nervous as well and I wonder...really wonder...what must be going on in both their minds. She walks until only two or so meters separate us, her hand gripping on the straps of a handbag around her shoulders. It's strange...that she looks like a child in front of me right now instead of the mature, older sister I've always seen her exude.

I jump out of a warm embrace and walk over to my older sister to hug her in greeting, liking how she always squats at my level to hug me too. Haruka follows suit and gets up as well, standing awkwardly at the foot of the fountain. I smile at the familiar smell of lilacs as Nee-san gives me a small kiss in my forehead. She gets up after a moment and smiles once more to Haruka, who offers a small smile back.

"Hi," Hotaru greets first and I look at the older tomboy in anticipation.

Her smile widens. "Hey yourself."

But the awkwardness is still in the air, and it's absolutely choking me. I stomp over to Haruka who eyes me suddenly in surprise. I pull her down so she's at my level and whisper loudly in her ear, "What're you waiting for? You wanted to deserve mama and this is the first step! Now do it!"

She pinches my chin and shakes it left and right. "Such a good motivational speaker," she coos and I swat her hand away. But she gets up after and walks over to an amused Hotaru until only a couple feet stand between them.

She looks too casual so I can tell that she's nervous, and of course Nee-san sees it too.

The tall woman swipes a hand over already messy strands and says sheepishly, "Haru and I are about to head home to Michiru. Can you join us for dinner? And afterwards, if you'll allow it, for the two of us to talk."

I walk over to them and say, "I'll be there as her emotional support as well." And I'm glad this brings wide, amused smiles in both their visages.

Nee-san nods, making Haruka's smile even wider. I haven't seen her as happy as she is at this moment, trophy in hand or not and I understand, just a little bit more, why my mama chooses her of all people.

"Mama's making spaghetti!" I announce, making them both laugh at the random proclamation.

We start heading out to the parking lot, the two of them trailing behind me, but not by a lot and I amuse myself by kicking rocks on the ground and watching them bounce down the cement stairs. I look back to see Haruka turn to Hotaru, the gratefulness in her eyes making her look vulnerable.

"Thanks firefly."

The endearment is in English, and I need to know what it means, but I'll have to ask mama later because the look my Nee-san's giving can't be interrupted; a look that says she wants to cry, but is so happy, all at the same time.

O-O

My mama is surprised to see all of us at her door, but it doesn't last long. The understanding is apparent in her eyes as she herds us all into the dining room where the utensils and our plates are ready. We help with setting up the food and before long, we're all seated and eating, rehashing our day as is normal in our household whether it's just me and mama at the table or if more people are there as well.

"And it was sooo loud and sooo exciting! There was even a wipe out!"

Haruka shakes her head at me and I look at my mama who's giving me a horrified look.

"But no one was hurt," I backpedal. "Just...a...bruise...or two. Maybe a scrape. A tiny drop of bloo—

"He got back up and...finished the race. Even got second to last place. I thought that was pretty good," the racer cuts me off, nodding at my mama who's dagger stare floats to her.

"And I trust you didn't try anything with the cycles yet, Haru-chan?"

"Course not mama. Haruka wouldn't let me," I grumble and bite on a big meatball.

"Haruka wants to keep her room here and be in your mama's good list," Haruka says with a grin.

Nee-san looks up in curiosity. "You'll be staying here Haruka-p...Haruka?"

The racer smirks for some reason, and only stares at Hotaru without answering her question. I look at both of them in bafflement and look at my mama for clarification as well, but she only smiles amidst her napkin.

In a matter of several seconds, Nee-san sighs, but retains a smile on her pretty face. She looks coolly at Haruka and asks straightforwardly, "You'll be staying here Haruka-papa?"

My jaw slackens at the honorific as Haruka and mama only laughs. But the tomboy nods easily and answers her question after the mirth has passed.

"Yep. Michiru has given me an offer I can't refuse."

"As if she's ever given you an offer that you couldn't..."

They all laugh, looking like a bunch of old friends and I feel a bit out of place, but a warm feeling in my chest tells me it's okay. This feels right somehow: the three of them in one table eating, talking, and laughing. For some reason, it would feel perfect if there is one last person to occupy another seat.

O-O

I don't know how they all do it, but it seems communicating without speaking works well with mama and her three friends. Without anyone needing to say anything to her, they all have an understanding that Haruka and Nee-san would talk in the living room and while mama cleans up the dishes, she gives me a tray with a kettle and two teacups and tells me to bring it to our two guests.

They're seated in front of one another in our sofa as I arrive, giving me a soft, thankful smile as I become the good hostess my mama taught me to be and pour both of them some tea. They thank me and after my work is done, I sidle up over next to Haruka, who only casually wraps an arm around my shoulder.

She seems nervous again, her hand smoothing over a nonexistent wrinkle on my shirt where my shoulder is and I pat her leg to calm her down a bit. They chuckle at my action.

"Alright," the racer starts, breathing deeply. She looks up at Nee-san who only smiled wider in an attempt to calm her as well.

But the disappointment painted in Haruka's eyes are deep, humility clearly shown there as they travel downward to her cup of tea which neither has touched. I feel out of place, and want to go because this looks more serious and more personal than I anticipated, but I can't leave either of them knowing that whatever has happened hasn't been discussed. This is my family. And families talk.

I swallow before squeezing Haruka's leg in a gesture of support again. This causes her to look up to dark eyes encased in purple.

"I'm sorry." Her voice is low, almost imperceptible, but Nee-san nods and her smile is soft and forgiving. Haruka takes her arm off my shoulder and rests it on her lap, long fingers coming together to form a tightly fisted ball. "I know what I did was selfish. Not only to Michiru, but to you and Setsuna." Blonde brows knit even closer together. "I was blind and dumb and...I can't even _begin_ to describe how stubborn I was. I still am." She shrugs and smiles helplessly. "But I've grown a little over these last years, at least I hope so. And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm not expecting it. But I do promise to be better. I won't...do that again...abandon you guys."

Her jaw clamps, the disgust at herself so clear to me that it makes me swallow in guilt because I'm partially to blame why she's in this situation to begin with. She laughs hollowly, fingers clutching at her temples roughly. "You know, for the longest time I tricked myself into thinking I was the one that was suffering?" Her dry laughter continues, causing Nee-san to stand from her position and walk to us, taking Haruka's left side on the sofa. She puts a thin arm over the tall woman, another hand encasing still tightly balled fists.

They lock eyes, each resonating such agony until Nee-san takes her arms and wraps them over Haruka, pulling the woman to her into a tight hug.

"It's okay papa," she says softly, sharing a look with mama who stands at the foot of the doorway to the dining room. "You're home now. That's all that matters."

But Haruka's sorry's continue and I begin to understand how someone who had it all could give it all back so quickly.

More than two or so years back was when I finally noticed that mama had started a ritual for me and herself long before I could comprehend it. At first, they were merely cars going around in circles to me and I couldn't understand how it could be so exciting to watch. But because mama watched it, I did as well and I finally noticed why she watched; I never knew she was such a nationalist. The only Japanese racer: Tenoh Haruka. It's not hard to become a fan; you gotta root for your country regardless of which team they're in. But even better was, she was actually winning. Race after race, month after month. She was a goddess in the race track. No, I prefer demon, never mind. She was a _demon_ in the race track.

She was stronger, smarter, better, and best of all, _faster_ than anyone. It's not to say she didn't work hard for it. You couldn't be in that stage of a career without all the hard efforts you've put prior and within. So started, too easily, my idolization of a national racing hero. Toshi and I literally got into heated battles about her bios and races while Tsubasa indulged us and got into it as well. But more than anything, I liked sharing the stories with mama who strangely enough watched all of the races, but never delved into it further than our TV screen. I would tell her pit test stories or Haruka's earlier years in racing, but the information that was hardest to get was always who she was before she started her F1 career.

And then one day, I finally noticed it. It was on a rainy Sunday last year: November 21st, the year's final Championship race. She wins, but barely. It seems recently, it's been getting harder and harder for her to retain that pole position. The race lasts for an hour and forty five minutes and the trophies are handed out.

I wonder, how I had missed it before so I stay quiet and go back to old internet videos of past races for the next week or so, and there it is, laid bare in front of me.

The Haruka that I've met, is the one I've grown up to idolize. Confident in every way. Calm in every situation. Best at what she does because she's worked hard for it and possibly from some inborn talent as well. Her aura exudes such self-assurance that no one would know the person behind the mask. But whenever she goes to get her trophy, or is announced as the winner, her eyes tell the rest of the story.

They're usually a bright emerald, flecks of dark green encasing the outside as well as in. When I've seen her genuinely happy, they're lively, giving a spark that reinforces that joy she must be feeling. In the tapes where I've seen her angry, they're also bright, flashy, condescending.

When she goes to the podium to receive her prize, they're dead.

Her smile is still there, as if frozen in time. Her body stands tall and proud, arm stiff in the air in a victory pose. Yet her eyes are showing no joy at the occasion. She has more life in her in any other time of her career, except when she's accepting the trophy that's supposed to be the main point of it all.

Seeing her before me now, broken, in the arms of a woman who, is whether in paper or not, an older sister to me I can understand why. It must've been so lonely, living only for her career—living in places that were different each month. So...why couldn't she just come home? Why did it take this long when she knew for years now that she was lonely?

I realize that she's right—that there's so much more that I don't know about her. But as mama comes to sit beside me, her arms enveloping me and Haruka and pulling us all into a tight group hug, I also know that I was right. It doesn't matter, because I have the opportunity to know her. And whether she likes it or not, I'll try my hardest.

O-O

"...you carry the one over, add it to the five, stack them all down, and you get si...Haru-chan you're definitely not listening."

I look up from my doodle of random circles at light blue eyes narrowing at me. I sigh.

"I'm booored. Let's do something else."

"Oba-san said we can take a break after finishing our arithmetic homework and that's what we'll do."

"I wish it was winter break already," I change the subject.

Tsubasa sighs, her eyes grazing over what's left of what we have to do. "Let's think about it _after_ we finish the last fifteen problems."

"It's too hard...and too boring! Tsu, let's do something else."

"Oba-san—

"Mama went out to shop with Suna ba-san. She won't know if we're not doing our homework right now or not."

"Yes, but when you get sidetracked by something, there's no pulling you out of it, so we're doing this now and playing later."

I pout. "Unfair. You're too much like mama sometimes..."

"I thought you like your mama?"

"I do...but there can't be more than one."

My friend laughs and pats my head, an action I growl at her for doing. After we calm down, my watery eyes scan over the next problem and I bite back another yawn. As I begin to tackle it, I hear an inquiry from the girl next to me.

"Has Tenoh-san fully moved in?"

I nod, counting with my fingers. "She was able to get all her stuff taken in yesterday. Took a couple of days." My eyes widen. "And her cars are _amazing_. I did an internet search on the make and model. They're sooooo expensive."

Tsubasa nods, her light eyes still on her paper. "I would assume so since she races. They get paid an enormous amount of money and she's been in the circuit for about a decade. She's downstairs right?"

"Yep. It's still so frigid whenever Suna ba-san comes over, but I think Haruka's just trying to find the right time to talk to her."

"It's nice that she's trying so hard."

"Nh. I don't really wanna ask mama what happened to make it all uncomfortable around all of them even though she'll probably tell me. Nee-san comes over a lot now which is good. She, mama, and Haruka went out while we were at school yesterday. It was great seeing them all pick me up."

My friend smiles, pushing her paper and writing utensils away. I gawk at her.

"You're done?"

"Course. Need help?"

I hang my head. "Course..."

It takes another forty minutes or so until I can stretch my legs. Looking out my window, the sun is still up and I want to make the most of it, but a certain thing has been itching at my mind...a kind of mission I need to start lest it drives me crazy thinking about it.

"Let's go outside and play?" Tsubasa asks and I look at her without really answering.

I push my chair under the computer desk and walk over to her spot until less than a foot separates us. Her dark eyebrows curve up to me in skepticism as I just stand there in front of her, a soft frown gracing my face.

_"Experience makes all the difference."_

Now or never I guess.

My hands envelope her shoulders, her shirt soft and warm under my sweaty palms. I wonder why I'm so nervous all of the sudden. This is Tsuabasa. We've been friends since I can remember. She isn't some random person, so whatever Haruka forewarned is invalid.

I lean forward some more, light blue eyes near and widening enough that I can see pretty dark blue specks glittering the edges of it. And for some strange reason, my stomach starts doing flip flops and my heart completely wants to hammer out of my chest.

I need to get this done with before I get a heart attack.

My eyes stay locked with hers, our noses bumping funnily until my pursed lips finally meets her own. She can see that my mind is racing with thoughts, but stays standing where she is and lets the lip lock continue. After a couple more seconds, I step back and retract my arms, Tsubasa's eyebrows shooting so far up her forehead that I no longer see them amidst dark blue, black bangs.

It's silent for a minute, her eyes never leaving mine. I bite the inside of my cheeks and after a while, expel a gust of air out of my nostrils.

"Hmm..." is the first thing to pop out of my mouth, because really, I'm thinking.

I was expecting some sort of...fireworks. Like those cartoons I've watched where a light bulb flashes from a person's head and they have all the answers in the world. An epiphany of sorts.

Other than my heart still pretty much wanting to jump out of my rib cage and my lips feeling soft and tingly from contact...there's nothing else. I shrug.

"Kay, let's go play."

I'm about to turn to head out of my bedroom when a loud, "Wait!" stops me in mid-action.

I turn to my friend who's still eyeing me like I've just crash landed from outer space in front of her.

"Yeah?" I ask cuz she isn't saying anymore after a moment of us just standing there.

She closes her eyes to maybe center herself. She usually does this when Toshi and I are being totally weird and she needs to summon the patience to deal with us. Her eyes open, and she looks at me with a baffled expression.

"Haru...what was that?"

I think it's obvious, but...

"A kiss?" I ask, unsure why even _I_ sound unsure about it.

Pearly whites clamp her bottom lip, light blue eyes rolling. "I know that. Why?"

I shrug. "I wanna know the difference."

When I wouldn't continue, she sighs and asks some more, "The difference to what?"

"Guys and girls. I'm gonna kiss Toshi later and make an assessment on it."

Her eyes bulge at my words. "You..." She trails off, her fingers rubbing parts of her face in an expression that I can only decipher as disbelief. She looks back at me with an astounded look. "Why did you need to know that?"

It seems her logical persona is back.

"To understand what Haruka was talking about better?"

She laughs in incredulity. "And...do you?"

"That's why I'm gonna kiss Toshi later," I repeat, feeling like it's the obvious next step. I don't understand why she just doesn't get it. But then maybe she does because suddenly she's smiling sweetly at me. A bit too sweetly.

"Haru-chan, if you kiss Toshi-kun I'll stop being your best friend."

My eyes widen at her abrupt threat. "W-why?"

She flips her hair over and starts heading out of the room. "Let's leave it at that."

"Tsuuuu...come on!" I call as she opens the door and steps beyond the threshold. I race after her and catch up right when she's about to descend the stairs. I walk further ahead and turn around to face her, walking backwards down the stairs as I did so. "Are you serious?"

She smiles so sweetly at me that it seems almost evil. "Course."

"Why?"

"Hmm, maybe it's something we should talk over with Tenoh-san?"

"Noooo, she told me not to...never mind," I trail off.

"She told you not to what?"

"Well...she said...to kind of not kiss people left and right. BUT, it's not random people. It's you and Toshi-kun."

"Once again, Haru, if you kiss Toshi-kun, I'll stop talking to you."

"You're really scary when you start dropping honorifics..."

"I'm very serious as well."

"But it's not making sense!"

She's about to retort again, looking very presumptuous because of the stairs giving her a big height advantage when her cool stare passes over me. I look over my shoulder and there stands Haruka, wiping her hand with a dirty rag.

"Everything alright?" she asks, emeralds drifting to and from me and my friend.

"Fine," I answer a bit too quickly. Tsubasa snickers softly behind me. "Whatchu up to?"

She smirks. "Makin' somethin'."

This immediately piques my attention.

"Whatchu makin'?"

"Somethin'," she retorts and turns back to go to the garage. "Michiru left some brownies for you girls for an after studying treat. You're all done yes?"

"Course," I grumble, making the rest of my way down the stairs and hearing my friend follow me from behind. "As if Tsu would let me go without doing at least that."

Haruka laughs. "Well when you're done, come in the garage if you're not gonna do anything else. Might as well let you in on the secret."

I turn to Tsubasa and state, "Let's eat the brownies later. Haruka's being really secretive."

She nods, signaling a peace treaty about our former subject for now, and we both head to the garage. We locate the racer at the foot of the sliding door, two of her cars lining the inside with one extra space for mama's vehicle. Haphazardly around her are tools for some sort of project and she's in the middle of it all assessing everything with a meditating look. I stop at the edges before I can accidentally kick off a nut or bolt to a place we'll never find again and give the blonde a confused look.

"What're you doing?"

"Making a Christmas present," she answers easily, pulling some metal pieces to her and twisting it around to look it over closer.

"Are you building a car?" I ask, but note that the pieces are a bit too small.

She shakes her head. "A bike."

My eyes widen, heart palpitating in anticipation. "A bike? Who're you gonna give it to you?"

She smirks at me. "Who do you think?"

My face splits into a crazy smile and I don't even _care_ anymore if I knock or kick things over. I lunge over to the tall woman, launching myself to her laughing body and she catches me easily so I don't fall.

"Careful," she says softly as I give her a tight hug.

"Kamen Rider is soooo demoted."

Her laugh deepens as she puts me down, eyeing Tsubasa who stands quietly where I was just standing with a soft smile on her face.

"Wanna help us Tsubasa-chan?" Haruka asks and I nod at my friend to give the right answer.

She chuckles while rolling her eyes. "I suppose I have to Tenoh-san. Haru's awfully bad at math and if you want her to measure anything properly, I'd have to be the one to do it."

I dagger stare her smirking countenance and sigh, looking up to the blonde with a sad face afterwards.

"Tsubasa-chan's mad at me Haruka."

The racer gives me an acquiescing look. "Is that why you two were arguing in the stairs?"

I nod, seeing Tsubasa roll her eyes again with my peripherals. "I was just trying something out and she freaked out!"

"That's a big understatement..."

"Tsuuu it was only a kiss!"

"Oh my god, Haru-chan tell me you didn't..."

There's incredulity in Haruka's voice, and a bit of disappointment, and I feel an irrational sort of anger course through me upon hearing it.

"You said, 'Experience makes all the difference!'" I yell now at the tall woman who looks a lot like Tsubasa did minutes ago when she was rubbing her hand all across her face.

"Yes, but I also said not to kiss people left and right."

"You said _random_ people! Tsubasa isn't random!"

"Little one," the tall woman calls, scratching the back of her head in an attempt to find the right words. "A kiss...well maybe I should've clarified this from the get-go, but a kiss is important to a lot of people. Especially their first one."

"Well it was my first one too and it wasn't that big of a deal..."

Tsubasa sighs. "My heart bleeds little by little."

I feel irritated, watching the two of them look at me as if I was wrong when I was just trying to do what I thought was right.

"I just...wanted to get it," I mutter, twisting my face away towards the sliding metal door.

I hear Haruka sigh once more, kneeling to me as I cross my arms over my chest. She unwraps them and keeps a tight hold over one hand.

"Let's all talk before starting. I need a snack anyway."

She keeps her hold on my hand and starts walking out of the garage, asking my friend with nothing, but actions if she'd like to come with us as well with her free hand. Tsubasa smiles and holds her other hand and we all head to the kitchen where she sits both of us on barstools near the island while she grabs the brownies placed over the oven.

She works silently, filling large glass cups with milk, cutting the brownies, and setting a plateful in front of me and Tsubasa, sitting before us after she's done. I take one, the two of them following my cue and we start out quiet, munching on warm brownies and drinking our milk without any words coming out of anyone. I don't really understand what's there to talk about, but I'm glad to see Haruka being patient about it and not treating it like a childish matter—if we were with anyone else I can already feel that it wouldn't be handled as seriously.

"Alright," she starts, looking at both of us with a handsome smile after a few minutes of respite. She turns to my best friend first. "Tsubasa-chan, just so you're up to speed, and since you're Haru's best friend and you'll probably know the whole situation sooner rather than later from her, this whole mess started because I gave a crazy notion to Haru that kissing someone would let her know the difference in preference."

Light blue eyes widen, and I can tell she understands it even more than me just by that little explanation. She looks at me in question.

"Why would Haru need to know that?"

"She asked me if I like her mama."

Tsubasa's look of astonishment grows, sipping her milk carefully as her eyes attentively stay on Haruka.

"And you answer her of course."

"Of course," the racer nods, popping a brownie bit in her mouth. "But during the talk, I guess she didn't realize why it would be awkward for me to answer."

My friend nods. "I see."

"So I ask her what she likes, and she apparently doesn't know yet. And, I guess I gave her the notion that maybe kissing someone would enlighten her. So...moral of the story is, it's my fault. Sorry."

Haruka's head bows a little, Tsubasa chuckling at seeing her apologize.

"And...kissing Toshi-kun right after kissing me would let her see the difference?"

Emeralds widen as her attention goes straight to me. "You said you'd kiss Toshi-kun right after?"

I sigh loudly. "Okay, I can see when I've dropped the ball," I grunt, taking a swig of milk. "I'm sorry Tsu-chan..."

Light blue eyes twinkle at me in amusement, but I can see the understanding and forgiveness there as well. She shrugs casually.

"So long as you don't go kissing Toshi-kun, I'm fine."

Haruka chuckles seemingly at a loss for words. She sighs and turns to me again, continuing, "And as I said Haru-chan, for some people their first kiss is something...irreplaceable. Think of it this way. Let's say, you and Michiru go to do something together by yourselves, a trip or whatever. By the end of it, you feel that, that experience meant something to you and you hope that it meant something to her too. It's something that you want just between you and your mama. And then she tells you that she'll do the same exact thing with someone else the next day. How would that make you feel?"

The scenario she gives me fills my head, giving me the understanding I needed. Somehow, just the thought of something like that happening is enough to make my stomach churn uncomfortably and for my throat to close up. I feel an indiscernible hurt, causing me to look away from inquiring emeralds. Finally, I understand why it's become a bit of a deal.

"Okay," I manage to say quietly. "I get it."

I don't cry often, but I feel a hollow stab in my chest whenever it comes to start and I feel that betraying feeling now. Why does it feel like I've just royally messed up and I'm the one who dug my own grave?

"Little one."

Haruka reaches out to me, her palm encasing my cheek and her thumb stroking comforting circles across my skin. This only serves to make my lips pout inadvertently and the burden in my chest to heighten.

"I hope you know I'm not berating you."

I nod, the brownies coating the inside of my mouth feeling dry and tasteless. I can't look at her. I kind of want to run away.

She moves from her spot and stands before me, strong fingers rubbing my scalp and back. My head falls on her shoulder automatically, my lips beginning to quiver. I hate feeling this way. As if I've disappointed someone who's important to me. But at the same time that I'm feeling this towards Haruka, I see Tsubasa from my position as well and I comprehend how illogical and brash I was. My friend locks eyes with me, light blues bright and warm and soft lips in a quirky smile.

"Sorry Tsu." This time I feel like I mean it fully.

She giggles from her stool and gets up, poking both of my sides with her index finger. I jump out of Haruka's embrace, her husky laughter resonating from her chest as my friend laughs behind me.

Swiping accumulated tears from my cheeks and eyes off with a free sleeve, I feel the burden lift at seeing Tsubasa dismiss the problem and I can only think of one way to right the situation.

"I'll make it up to you!" I exclaim.

She smirks at me challengingly. "Oh, how so?"

"I'll only kiss you." Haruka laughs and so does she, but I'm serious about my words and I'm not going back on it. "You don't believe me?" I bait.

She shakes her head, stroking my cheek a lot like how Haruka just did. "I do."

I didn't think she'd adhere that quickly, so I just nod as if I was right the whole time. I am.

"Kay. Haruka," I call, turning to the tall woman who's back in her spot and chomping on a brownie. "Let's build that bike!"

She frowns at me, dunking her brownie in the milk. "After snack time. You can't interfere with snack time."

I sigh and sit back down, Tsubasa following suit. I guess she's right sometimes.

O-O

I breathe the cool, sharp air in my lungs as kid after kid rush past me and to a waiting bus, car, or friends to go home with.

"Kay, there's otou-san. See you guys later," Toshi calls and leaves with a small wave. "Have a good trip Tsubasa-chan. Hopefully we'll hang out Haru-chan."

I nod at him, my eyes passing to his father who's drumming his fingers on the steering wheel of their van. "Tell your mama to call my mama," I yell in between other children's noises. He nods while simultaneously getting in the car, his van disappearing from sight moments later.

I turn to Tsubasa who's busy opening her book bag. I look into the distance and wave at her mother who's just arrived as well.

"Oba-san's here."

She nods at me and pulls out a box wrapped in holiday paper. I smile widely and reach over to my bag as well.

"Didja trade off with Toshi-kun earlier?" I ask, pulling out a gift that my mama helped me pick out a couple weeks ago for her.

She nods, eyes widening at the package I'm attempting to remove without tearing the wrapping paper my mama neatly folded.

"What'd you get him?" I grunt, finally successfully pulling it out of the small container. I grin and hand it over to my friend who only smiles at me in mirth.

"A video game for his DS," she answers as we swap packages.

"What'd he give you?"

I pull at the wrapping paper, carefully peeling the tape at the sides without messing it up. I know Tsubasa wraps it herself unlike me and Toshi who get our mothers to do it for us. She's very arts and craftsy, a trait I'd be jealous of if she wasn't so keen in _trying_ to get me interested in learning. I can feel her eyeing me, waiting for her turn to open her present.

"A stuff toy."

"Of?"

"Pikachu."

"You...don't really care for Pokemon."

She nods. "He doesn't have to know. It's cute regardless."

I laugh a bit, finally opening the package big enough to pull out what's inside. My eyes bulge, mimicking the wide grin before me.

I look up at her wide smile sheepishly.

"You made it..."

She chuckles. "Course I did."

"I didn't make yours..."

Her chuckle turns into a laugh, the sound reaching my ears pleasantly. "I don't expect you to."

I twirl the crocheted, fat figure of Totoro in my fingers, his smile mirroring mine perfectly. In between his perky ears is a huge green leaf and in one hand a red umbrella. It looks perfect.

I look up at her graciously and bow. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

After seeing me inspect the amigurumi some more, she begins to open my present, and suddenly I feel nervous. Here I am holding a present from her that she created from nothing, but yarn and all I have to give is something my mama and I picked out. I look down and scuffle some dirt with my shoes.

"If you don't like it we can return it," I say softly, not wanting to see disappointment paint her face. "Shouldn't be a problem."

I chance a glance at her visage and see a pleasantly shocked expression on a pretty face. She pulls out the light blue puffy coat, the matching gloves, scarf, and beanie coming out with it and maintaining their hung position by some thread.

"I told mama about your ski trip to New York. She says it's pretty chilly there and you probably have coats already, but it wouldn't hurt to give you more."

Her smile widens into a grin and she lunges at me, a tight hug ensuing the small tackle.

"Thank you," she says in between it making me laugh. " And tell Oba-san thank you as well."

It takes a couple more minutes for us to get our stuff into our bags and afterwards, I walk her to her car, waving at her mother as we get closer. She presses the window to the sedan down.

"Hi Haru-chan," she greets.

I smile and bow. "Hello oba-san. Sorry it took so long. We couldn't find the right time to exchange the gifts during school."

She waves the apology away as Tsubasa steps into the car and flashes me a wide grin.

The motor starts as I backpedal, waving to both of them.

"Have a safe trip!" I yell over the noise.

"I'll call you when I get back," my friend yells back and soon they're gone as well.

I stand there for a moment, staring at the corner where Tsubasa's car last turned and feel a sense of sadness. But I shrug it quickly away. She'll be back in two weeks, and hopefully Toshi's father won't make him study all winter break.

A warm hand covers my shoulder causing me to turn. I grin up, seeing the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Hi mama," I greet, sharing a hug as she bends over to me. I look around her and see no blonde in sight. "Where's Haruka?"

"Finishing your present by herself," she says with a smile. "She wants to surprise you a little bit with a few modifications."

My grin widens.

"I saw you and Tsubasa-chan exchange presents," she continues as we make our way to her car, my hand grasping hers tightly. "Did she like her present?"

I nod vigorously. "She says thank you. Did I ever tell you that she has a strange habit of calling you Kaioh-san when she's talking to you, but when we're alone she calls you oba-san?"

She chuckles and looks at me inquiringly. "Hmm, I wonder why? Tell her I wouldn't mind if she were less formal. You've known one another since the first grade after all."

I sigh exhaustively. "I keep telling her that, but she's too shy or something."

We get in the still running car, me making my way in the back and tossing my book bag on the floor, but not before taking out the amigurumi and twirling it in my hands.

"That's Tsubasa-chan's gift to you, yes?" my mama asks as she pulls the car out of the curb.

I nod, squeezing the small toy with my fingers. "It's cute."

I can feel her smile without seeing it. "And what did Toshi-kun give you?"

"I gave him my gift, but he hasn't gotten me one yet. He wanted to see the color of the bike. Says he'll get me a new helmet."

"Well that's thoughtful."

I nod, noting her taking us away from our residence instead of towards it.

"Where are we off to?"

"I'm going to treat you out because you've been working so hard at school and you deserve this break," she explains, checking her mirrors before merging into another lane. "And Haruka wants some alone time to make your bicycle shiny."

I giggle in excitement.

It takes ten or so minutes until we reach our destination: a little cafe shop that we found while cruising one day. They serve fresh pastries and sandwiches with a hot or cold beverage of your choice and the owners treat me and mama with reverence every time they see us.

Mama helps me out of the car and we both go in, some classical violin song playing in their speakers. One of the owners see us and immediately bows from behind the counter making me grin and my mama to blush, although I can't understand why. The place is empty as we walk to the register and his old, wrinkly face shines a bit more as we get closer.

"Kaioh-san, welcome back," he gushes and bows to me as well. "And little Haru-chan, you're getting bigger by the day."

I bow in thanks, feeling a bit shy at the attention he's suddenly gracing me with.

"What can I prepare for you lovely ladies today?"

My mama orders for us, asking in tandem where his wife is. I separate from them and pick a small table in one corner, plopping on one of the two chairs occupying the area and sitting Totoro down next to the napkin dispenser. It takes about two minutes for mama to come to the table and she sits across from me, smiling softly as I poke the gray bearlike creature's tummy. I look up as she reaches out and caresses my short hair, the soft touch making me warm and fuzzy.

We sit quietly for a moment, the comfortable silence accompanying the singing of the violin. A couple minutes into this, the owner brings us our drinks: mama with some hot tea and hot chocolate for me. He also gives me a slice of apple pie, fresh whipped cream atop it and mama, an evenly sliced sandwich. We thank him and he bows to us before leaving us alone.

I dig in, carefully sipping the hot cocoa so it doesn't scorch my tongue as it's done in the past. As I set my eyes on the apple pie, mama clears her throat to gather my attention. I do so, but not before putting a mouthful of apple in my mouth. She smiles at me in mirth, but quickly becomes serious once more.

"The ground rules for this break," she begins, her fingers circling the top of her teacup. I listen attentively. "You may stay up until midnight, but anymore without good reason takes away the privilege. It will go back to nine as is normal."

I nod understandingly, eating another spoonful of my pastry.

"Monitor your video game times, as usual. I will only say something if I know you're playing too much, and you have to realize that I'm not berating you because I'm being unfair."

I pout, remembering a squabble we once had over me playing games in the past and the consequence of staying in my room with the power supply frozen only in that room for the remainder of the day. It was a good lesson to learn: my tantrums regardless of how loud or how much I throw does not make the situation better. I sigh in remembrance to it and nod. "Yes, mama."

She smiles, knowing that our minds are going over the same thing. "I won't bug you about your homework until after Christmas day. After that though, I would like you to start on it. Ask for help if you need to, but I want it done so you're not hurrying to finish it a day or two before school starts again. Toshi-kun is invited whenever he wants to come over. You know I don't have qualms of him staying, but he will follow these rules as well. Any questions?"

I go over my head to see if there's anything missing. "What about watching TV?"

She leans over and pinches my cheek softly, the pretty smile gracing her face. "Everything in moderation aka-chan. When something in the back of your mind tells you it's too much, it's probably too much."

I smile, leaning into her hand now cupping my cheek. "Kay, no problem."

She smiles warmly at me as she retracts her hand, grasping on the teacup once more and sipping a bit of it. "Haruka tells me there's another race coming up this Sunday."

My eyes widen at the news. "She didn't tell me that!"

Mama chuckles and gives me an endearing look. "She likes to be sure about certain plans before letting you know them. She doesn't like to disappoint."

I grin, my nerves jumping in anticipation, but as I see her looking at me, I falter on the decision and feel guilt eat me all over again.

"Are you sure you're okay with me going?" I ask, my stomach churning uncomfortably because I want her to be honest with me, but if she stops me from seeing the race the disappointment would break me as well.

She locks her eyes with mine, no chastise peaking through clear sapphires. Just warmth and an unconditional love I always see.

"I can see that it makes you very happy Haru-chan. And I wouldn't want to be against something that gives you joy. Just give me time okay? And you'll graduate from just watching."

I see worry coat her countenance for a moment, but I don't pay attention to it because of the elation bubbling in my chest. I let out a squeal that sounds more high pitched than I wanted it to, jump out of my seat, and run to her, hugging her tightly. She reciprocates as she always does, warm, long arms enveloping my body and her familiar, comforting scent filling my entire being. Lifting me from the ground, she sits me atop her lap and pulls my food towards us, my hot chocolate and pie to the left and her food to the right. Her left arm keeps a tight hold around my waist, her chin propped with the help of my shoulders as I dig into my food again with gusto.

We eat in momentary silence, broken by a question I'm not expecting.

"Do you like Haruka?"

I stop my spoon from going into my mouth halfway through its destination, setting it back down as I hear the serious intonation of my mama's question. I turn my head a little to see her looking at me, a hopeful and fearful look gracing her beautiful features and feel her hold on me tighten infinitesimally.

A very serious question that deserves a well thought out answer.

I think of the subject of our current discussion—of what the racer's done before and after coming to live with us and the change she's made makes me smile.

It's been a month and a half since I've met her and she fits into our household as if she's lived there forever. We've gotten into an easy routine of her waking me up in the morning, the smell of mama's cooking wafting all over the house. After breakfast, she would drive me to school with a flashy car earning wide eyed looks from my peers that _never_ gets old. Several hours later, she'd be waiting, sometimes with mama, other times by herself and we would either go home or go out, the past few weeks spent at home where she and I could work on my bicycle; I never knew it was such hard work until she introduced me to it.

But more than melding into our way of life, she's also changed it. Nee-san's visits have gotten more frequent and fun whether we made plans to do anything or not. Suna ba-san would join us sometimes, but it seems she and Haruka hasn't gotten to that point yet. What catches my attention the most of this rare occurrence when we're all together though is my mama's expression. I've never seen her as happy or complete as when all of us are around the dinner table eating or sitting in the living room, watching a movie. I would catch her just stare at everyone, and a sigh expels from her that spells out relief, as if she's been holding a burden for a very long time and it's just lifted itself off.

This, more than anything, tells me how important Haruka is in our life. Mama's happier now, much happier than I've ever seen her. And for me, that's enough. It doesn't matter that I'm happy, even though I'm thrilled. It doesn't matter that my outward look of my life has become brighter. Mama's happy. That's all that matters.

I smile and nod. "I like Haruka very much."

Mama's smile widens, her face coming closer to nuzzle my cheek. I giggle at the ticklish feeling she evokes and grab her cheeks with my hands, forcing her attention to only me.

I smirk. "Do _you_ like Haruka?"

My question causes her to laugh, her nods coming in tandem. She combs my hair back, due to habit more than anything, and wraps her arms around me once more, hugging me closer and leaning her forehead against my own.

"Yes, I like Haruka," she says softly, similar sapphires sparkling into mine. "I like Haruka so much I worry about the consequences of it."

I shake my head as I see the disparity in her eyes. "Don't be worried mama," I reassure, and give a confident smile. "Haruka won't let you down. And as far as I go, I'm happy if you're happy, so whatever it is that you want to do, just go for it."

Sapphires widen at my words, her eyes filling with water as each second passes. I'm afraid for a moment that I might have said the wrong things, but then she hugs me tighter, spreading kisses all over my face, and the thank you's and I love you's coming from her are enough to melt my worries back where they came from.

O-O

"I want to go camping."

I look up from my meal, determined sapphires looking back at me as if she's expecting me to do something about such a random statement. I suppose she is. Turning my head slightly to the left at the head table, Michiru smiles in her napkin, giving me a look that says I'm on my own.

"O...kay," I say with a small sigh, my partner chuckling softly next to me. My attention drifts back to a still determined little tomboy. "And...when would you like to go?"

"Tonight."

"Haru-chan, the weather forecast said it'll snow all over Japan tonight. I don't think it's safe to go out in the wilderness and camp out regardless of how much you'd like to."

She rolls her eyes, an endearing look that I just smile at.

"Haruka your sense of imagination is so shot."

"Trust me little one, too much in my life has happened for my imagination to be shot."

She looks at me in question for a minute before continuing, "Camping equals a tent. If it's gonna snow tonight then we don't have to make a campfire."

"Okay, where do you suppose we pitch up this tent?"

"The backyard, duh."

Her answer causes me to laugh and to look at her mother who joins me. "Michiru...your daughter...is so spoiled."

"Am not!"

"Are to!" I shot back and before she can add another round of bickering, I continue, "Are you serious about this camping thing? Cuz if I pitch up this tent and you complain how it's too cold after an hour of staying out there, I'm done doing you small favors."

Her pout comes in full force and I seriously hope she knows I'm joking. I turn to Michiru who only keeps eating.

"Michiru, a little help?"

She shrugs her shoulders and smiles at me, the mirth dancing in her sparkling eyes. "You can always say no," she gives as an option.

My eyes stray back to Haru whose pout has turned into full blown rejection and as usual, the crumbling feeling in my gut takes hold of me.

"How can I?"

Michiru laughs. "I say it all the time."

"You can resist that pout though! You have ten years of glorious experience!"

"Nothing like the present to start."

"Yeah, but her pout's not gonna go away that soon," I grumble, poking at a bok choy on my plate and not wanting to look up to either of them.

A childish sigh escapes out of the little girl in front of me, a small, "Never mind," coming out of her before complete silence at her end.

I sigh myself, the choice of spoiling the child rotten already engraved as the only action I have towards anything. I turn to Michiru who's wide amused smile is still to me and she can see the choice I've made.

"Where do you keep your tent? Do you even _have_ one?" I ask my partner who laughs at my defeated countenance.

"It's stored in the garage. If both of you are bent on this idea make sure to bring a lot of blankets and the sleeping bags as well. It really will be cold tonight."

"You're not joining us mama?" Haru asks, her eyes shining in excitement now.

"Yeah mama," I goad, smirking at Michiru who gives me a cool look.

"I'll pass," she dismisses easily, getting up and gathering our plates.

"Aww where's your sense of adventure? It's Haru-chan's first night of her winter break. Let's commemorate by having a backyard camping trip."

"Yeaaaahhhh," her daughter joins.

"You two can freeze your butts off outside. I shall remain in here where it's nice and toasty."

Haru's pout comes in full force again, but Michiru only turns and starts heading to the kitchen. "Aka-chan you know that doesn't work very well on me."

"Party pooper," she grunts, but smiles goofily at me. "Kay Haruka. Let's build a tent."

We get up from the dining table and head to the kitchen.

"It'll be okay cleaning up by yourself Michiru?" I ask loudly, looking over at the direction of the kitchen.

"No problem," she calls back, the clattering of utensils and plates following her words. "Finish the tent before the snow comes out."

Haru and I head to the garage, her attention first gathered at the spot her bicycle has been the past few weeks. Seeing nothing she turns to me as I take a step ladder and pull it under a shelf filled with boxes.

"Where'd the bike go?" she asks.

I ascend the ladder, making sure it won't crumble on me at a crucial point and note a box with a picture of a small tent outside of it. I toss two sleeping bags on top of it on the floor, careful to not hit the small girl looking up at my actions and finally pull the box towards me, my nose wrinkling at the amount of dust it has gathered. I descend slowly, my grip on the box strong and careful.

"I put it away," I answer her question finally, juggling one of the two sleeping bags and placing it on top of the box I'm carrying. "You'll see it in a week."

She nods and grabs the other sleeping bag, trailing me as I make my way out of the garage, past the living room and sliding door leading to the backyard.

We pick a spot on the grass near the deck and I begin working, the instructions for setting up the nylon tent read to me by the little girl. It's complicated at first, what with all the rods and extra nylon sheets, but as I get the foundation of it set up, the rest follows suit. After ten or so minutes Michiru comes out from the house as well with jackets for us, Haru shrugging them on quickly while I finish hooking a part of the tent first and then graciously receiving her gift. The sharp air is cold and biting, snow feeling like a good chance this evening as the stars twinkle innocently on.

While I finish up the perimeter and central point, Michiru goes to help as well, taking out massive amounts of blankets from the hallway closet— same ones we used for Haru's indoor fort— and adding two inflatable beds as well. A half an hour later, with my breath fogging before me and the tips of my fingers feeling numb, I pull the last hook into its designated hole and sigh in relief, dagger staring at Haru who has taken refuge in her big coat with a piping mug of hot chocolate between both hands. She grins at me, the innocence and happiness there enough to delude me into building another tent if she'd ask and I sigh at the strong hold she has over me.

"You're wrapped around her little finger," Michiru says softly to me, chuckling at my small sigh.

"It can't be helped I suppose," I state, smirking at her and helping her with putting the airbeds inside the tent. "I see her, and I see you, and I grow weak."

I grin as she laughs, eyes twinkling at me as the machine for the airbed inflates it rather loudly. The flap for the tent's door opens abruptly as Haru looks over at the two of us.

"Almost done?" she asks, coming in and sitting down on an area that has a sleeping bag already unfolded.

We nod in unison, covering two airbeds with a large bed cover to create one big airbed. Tossing some pillows on top of it as well as strewing blankets across it, I breathe deeply and look over our work.

"Good job," Michiru smirks at me, causing a sigh albeit in relief.

We all work together to go in and out of the house and bring in all the necessary stuff for the impromptu camping trip. After assessing that we have everything in place, we go back into the house, Haru and I spending the rest of the evening playing countless rounds of Mario Party while Michiru watches us and even joins on some of the games. At around eleven, at the insistence of Haru's yawns, we separate to get ready for the evening. It doesn't take me very long so I go on ahead, the cold air nipping my skin quickly as I open the sliding door.

It appears the snow has just arrived, the little flakes dancing their way from the heavens. I quickly make my way to the small tent, my thin pajamas not making the small trip very pleasant and dive into the confinement, unable to stop the shivers and goose pimples from erupting all across my extremities.

Even inside the safety of knitted nylon sheets my breath fogs before me and I shake my head at what may be the start of a bad idea. The tent shivers a little, the wind picking up and I sigh once more at how easily Haru can get me to do the most random things with little to no provocation.

Sitting on the airbed, I gather three or so blankets and spread them all over my legs, waiting in silence for Haru to join me and hoping Michiru will as well.

The past month and a half has been strange between myself and the soldier of the seas. It's not to say things have changed. As far as actually being together, we're not. I know the ball's in my court. I know she's waiting for me to make a move. But...

I plop down to a waiting pillow, shadows of the tent and battery operated lamp swimming in my vision.

I think over the last month and wonder if I've made any progress at all. Sure Hotaru and I are in good terms now. And Haru has surprised me the most in actually _liking_ me. That's one of the biggest problems I had upon meeting her. What if she could see right through me? The runner. The coward. The loser who stopped her career because she wanted to live versus just living in an empty soulless shell. In some way, I suppose she saw it. Because I'm damaged and I couldn't act well enough to get it pass her.

But how could I feel like I deserved her mother the way she just casually said it without all of me rejecting the idea because of what I've done? How could I just come back and be treated the way I've dreamt they would treat me—not with cold shoulders and insults, but warm, open arms. How do I deserve such...kindness?

My arm drifts over my eyes, my vision blackening.

I wish I deserve her. Why can't I just push my stupid pride aside and feel like I deserve her? I groan loudly just as the tent's door flaps open. I push my arm towards my forehead and see young sapphires watching me in scrutiny. A part of me becomes depressed when I hear no other sound coming from outside.

Well she did say she wouldn't join us.

I sigh inwardly.

"Hey," I greet, and sit back up.

Her look towards me deepens, and then after a moment a shiver wracks her small body.

"It's cooooold!" she drawls and runs to me, knocking some air out of my lungs as she tackles me full on.

I laugh, my body falling backwards, returning to the pillow. Her frame shivers some more against mine and I quickly grab the blankets at our feet and wrap them all over us, her head getting comfortable on the crook of my neck and her entire body sprawled on top of me. I hold her to instill more warmth.

"You smell good Haruka."

I laugh, smelling her hair. "You smell like Michiru."

She smacks my shoulder making me laugh harder. "Maybe I should smuggle some of her shampoo for you."

"Little one, your mother will definitely know if I start using her shampoo. I wouldn't even be able to _explain_ that."

Haru giggles, probably thinking of the prospects of my words. "She wouldn't mind though."

"Yeah, but she'd give me a smirk. You know, that one she wears."

She laughs now as well. "Yeah...she will. The all knowing smirk." She gets up a bit from her current position, propping both elbows on my shoulders and looking down at me. "What were you groaning about earlier?"

I rub her small back while shaking my head. It amazes me how she can switch from one topic to the next without even thinking it. Maybe she doesn't. I shrug the thought away.

"Just thinking," I answer her question and see her eyes twinkle in mirth.

"About mama?"

"Course, what else would I be thinking about?"

The childish laugh that erupts from her makes me smile. "When're you gonna talk to Suna ba-san?"

"Soon," I assure. "Very soon. Before Christmas."

"Promise?"

"Yes, promise."

Her toothy grin melts my heart and my hands come up to cup cold cheeks.

"Are you sure you're happy with me Haru?" I ask, feeling vulnerable in front of a ten year old I've grown to really love. "There's probably someone out there better for your mama..."

She shakes her head vigorously, making me trail off.

She shrugs and gives a sad smile. "Maybe your right. Let's say you are, and there is someone out there better for mama. You won't fight for her?"

"Pfft, like hell I won't," I grunt, feeling the cold grips of the last ten years seizing my heart again.

She grins at my frowning disposition. "I like you Haruka," she exclaims, without batting an eyelash. "Mama likes you too. So don't make her wait any longer."

I sigh, but nod at her words. "I know little one," I say softly, just as she lays back down and reclaims her spot on my shoulder and neckline, a huge yawn wracking out of a small frame.

"Ganbare," she whispers, her breathing getting deeper and body feeling heavier on mine.

"Ganbarimasu," I reply, tilting my head a bit and kissing her exposed forehead.

I feel her smile against my skin, and sooner than later, the world of dreams claim her, leaving me behind with my thoughts again. I reach for the lamp and shut it off, the shadows of the tent engulfing me in darkness.

I'm not sure how long I lay there with sleep deluding me. My thoughts aren't any better—they're jumbled, out of control, chaotic. One thought would pass the next without the first even processing. And I don't want to sigh so loud that the small child on top of me wakes. I move us a little, making sure the blankets are atop Haru's sleeping form properly so no part of her is cold. In the process of this, I hear the sliding door open and a part of me rejoices. Several seconds pass and I'm not disappointed, the zipper of the tent's door opening and Michiru's lovely face coming into view.

I smile at her as she looks us over, a soft, beautiful smile atop warm lips.

"Hey," she whispers and gets in, zipping the tent door close behind her.

"'ello," I greet quietly, looking at Haru's form as she moves a little in her sleep.

My partner crawls to us, surprising me by lifting the blankets currently on me and her daughter and getting in as well. I smile at first, happy at how close she is so suddenly, and then her feet comes in contact with mine. I'm careful not to let out a curse as soft but, more importantly, freezing feet delve deeper into the sheets and now over my legs.

"Michiru..." I grit between my teeth making her giggle.

"You're warm."

"Way to state the obvious," I growl lowly with an added eye roll. "Did you not wear slippers going out of the house?"

"I couldn't find them. I didn't want to keep you and Haru-chan waiting any longer, although it looks like I'm already late."

She giggles as I shut my eyes, her cold feet completely wanting me to push her out of the blankets. She lets me get used to them in silence, my low, albeit quiet grunts the only noise coming out of us for a couple minutes, save for a giggle or two from her end. Finally, when it doesn't seem that bad, I sigh in apparent relief and give her a look of chastise.

"You're evil."

She laughs, looking too innocent to not be guilty. Without word she moves closer until we share one pillow, her arm coming around mine to embrace her daughter as well and her other hand propping her head up. My head registers that her feet might've been cold, but the rest of her is gloriously warm, and I move closer to her direction as well until the whole front of her body touches my side. She sighs in what a hope is one of happiness or at least comfort, her sapphires twinkling at me amidst the darkness.

"What made you change your mind and joining us tonight?" I ask quietly, turning my attention to Haru every now and then to make sure she's still asleep.

Michiru's smile widens, uncurling her propped hand and begins combing my unruly blondes back. The action makes me inwardly purr.

"Suddenly an empty house felt colder than an impending storm," she answers cheekily making me chuckle. She shakes her head, clarifying herself. "Setsuna and I were talking on the phone and Haru couldn't wait to get out because she heard you leave already so I just told her to go to you first. I wouldn't have wanted to miss sleeping in something you worked so hard on in the first place."

"Hah!" I retort, eyes straying to the nylon roof above us. "Face it, this kid's got both of us running in circles."

She laughs quietly, eyes straying to her daughter. "I feel like sometimes it's the only thing I can do for her...spoil her."

I look over at a changed expression from my partner: one of sadness, regret.

"After all, I am the reason why she doesn't have a father..."

"Michiru..."

She doesn't look at me as I half call, half berate her. Lifting a hand, I gather a palm around cool, soft cheeks, my thumb trailing a high cheekbone. She turns to me and I feel the intensity in her stare, the closeness of her face to mine registering just barely in my muddled head. I shake the thought off.

"You're enough," I say quietly, my voice turning inadvertently husky. "I hope you sincerely know that. You've always been. To Haru, to everyone." I pause a bit, hesitating the last bit that settles in my head.

_Ganbare. _

"To me."

My heart thrums a bit at the declaration, not believing that I actually said it so casually just now.

I feel her swallow roughly, and after a moment, amidst the small frown painting her face, a smile appears as well, and I feel it lift my spirit just a bit higher.

"How can you even think that you're not?"

She smiles sadly and leans into my touch. I support her weight without a second thought.

"I'm not a very fatherly figure as far as I can tell."

Her words add weight to the frown in my face and sheer curiosity overtakes me at their strange predicament.

"How...did you and...your ex-husband (she smiles at how I call him) come to this arrangement? That...a once a year visit suffices?"

She bites her lip, the action distracting me just a little as my eyes dart over the reddening flesh.

"He can come over anytime."

But her answer strikes me back into the conversation.

"Then why doesn't he?"

A sardonic smile replaces the one she's wearing, eyes darting away from my cool stare. "His mistress got pregnant."

I remind myself that Haru's sleeping form is on top of me, but the anger boiling in my system rages to the point where I'm close to screaming bloody murder.

"And that's a good reason because...?"

She smiles in momentary mirth, putting a finger at my mouth at my sudden burst of anger. I swallow it back in, but barely, my ears feeling hot and my blood pounding its way loudly within them. The excuse can't be good...anyone who couldn't see Haru and take her as their reason is...blind, stupid, ignorant.

My partner sees the train of thought buzzing over my head and she tries, I hope vainly because I don't want to actually agree with the situation, to explain.

"She asked him to choose between a life he didn't want anymore and a life that he could be happier in." I blink up at her, confused and she shrugs too nonchalantly to not be affected by her same words. "I seconded his decision," she continues, sapphires drifting down and away from my even stare. "My only regret is that Haru couldn't choose between who she really wanted to be with."

She sighs, shifting a bit in her prone position and leans more into my laying figure. She looks towards the tent's adjacent walls, seeing a past I can only imagine.

"For some reason she's always chosen me. He..." A small sardonic chuckle escapes from her. "I don't know why...Daiki was never very good with her. He tried. God, he tried. He tried to the point where she would hide from him just to get away, or until I came to make the situation better. Some of our fights must've registered deeply in her head, because every time he comes over now, she chooses to ignore him rather than speak with him. Even if he chooses to be pre-emptive, she'd rather not be in the same room with him.

"He noticed quickly that even at five going into six, that she...didn't like him. He'd give her gifts, she'd discard them. He would come home from work and not receive a greet unless I ask her to, which she then complies none too hastily. He and I both noticed it. I'm surprised he didn't accuse me of...brainwashing her...because it certainly seemed like it based on how she acted."

I frown, remembering Haru's exclamations of her father, and how she only sees a stranger whenever he comes to visit.

Michiru tucks a lose strand behind an ear, her attention still towards one of the many adjacent walls. "So, when we started speaking about our feelings, his affair came out, something I wasn't in the least surprised about. What was more disappointing for me was that he didn't fight for our daughter...something I was ready to give my life into doing. He told me about his mistress, about how she became pregnant from the affair and the threat of having her or having none at all, and he took the former."

She stops momentarily, maybe to turn the thought over in her head a bit more. But then I see her discard the reflection with a shrug. "He comes to visit just for...formality's sake. Maybe a reminder to Haru that she has a father...if she feels like she's missing it."

I grunt, feeling frustration ebbing out of my pores. Four simple words mark my opinion on the matter...

"I don't like him."

She laughs at my small sentence, her attention coming back to me and her hand coming up to smooth the wrinkles over my forehead.

"It's why I was so surprised she liked you."

Her smile claims me, and I do not want to go into that conversation anymore. Of ex-husbands, decisions, and Haru being left in the side as if she wasn't a part of an important future. Suddenly, I'm glad she acted that way towards her father. I'm glad he...is an ass like how I portray him as even though he probably isn't. I'm glad he gave up and chose the easier route.

I smirk arrogantly, retorting to my partner's question. "I'm not."

She laughs some more, the sound so pleasant to my ears I've made it a point, since the time I've know her, to make her laugh as often as I can. Ironically enough, I've probably made her cry because of my actions more than anything, and this thought takes me once again to square number one. I sigh inwardly, the guilt of my actions over the course of the last decade fresh in my mind once more. If I could turn back time...

The what ifs wash over my head, picking through them, making better decisions, wishing...wishing...

"You're over thinking things again," she says softly.

I realize that she reads me easiest out of everyone in the world, but am glad that it's her out of everyone. I smile, tossing the past in the back of my mind for now and instead thinking about how her warm body feels against mine amidst the general coldness of our confines.

I smirk. "I can't help it you know."

"I know."

I think over the last month— at the snail's pace that is our so-called relationship.

What relationship?

I sigh outwardly. "I'm sorry..."

She shakes her head, the understanding in her eyes clear. She smiles, that beautiful, disarming smile and I feel my inhibitions slowly dissolve into nothingness.

"You'd think me knowing you like me would make this easier," I grunt, eyes rolling to the tent's ceiling.

She chuckles, resting her head at the left side of my body, the side her daughter hasn't claimed as her own for the night.

"Does it change if I say I love you?"

My breath hitches, the last thing I smell being that of her intoxicating shampoo. She says it in a bit of jest. I can sense that little bit. But overall...

My hand moves in its own accord, touching her face, lifting her chin. My face moves by itself as well, and I see the surprise in those wonderful sapphires before my eyes close. I'm careful not to move too much. I don't want Haru to wake. I'm careful not to give the wrong message. I want Michiru to know I love her without all the complicated words that comes out whenever I open my mouth. I want her to see that I've been trying to get over this guilt that I've brought upon myself. I want her to know that _I _want tofeel as if I deserve her, not just her feeling that way towards me. But really...who am I fooling?

When it comes down to it...I just want her.

I want Michiru. I want everything that comes with her, especially the family that she has—the same one I want to be a part of again. I want little Hotaru who has grown into the woman we've always wanted her to be. I want cool, calm, and collected Suna ba-san who doesn't want to act like I'm a fly bothering her whenever we're in the same room. I want Haru. I want to be a part of her life...that father figure she may want from me, but if she doesn't I'll be whoever she wants me to be.

My lips touch Michiru's, my partner meeting me halfway as I've always known her to. She moves her body up to accommodate the action, her hair tickling my cheeks as she does so, and all I can do is feel. Warm, soft lips moving against my own, tender cheeks against roaming fingers, her smile mirroring mine, our hands clasping at Haru's side, and our bodies melding in perfect unison.

I feel content. I haven't felt this way about my life in so long I've forgotten how wonderful it feels.

We separate momentarily, her twinkling eyes making my cheeks suffuse in color. But I smile regardless, knowing I can finally put a word to this contented feeling in my being. I see her through half lidded eyes: at wavy hair in semi-disarray, body in a possible uncomfortable position, but staying there because she doesn't want to break whatever it is that's suddenly between us, at glossy, shiny lips, taunting me to come back, but most importantly her smile. That smile mirroring my own content.

"I love you."

I say it without thinking, but meaning every word. I want her to see me in my most vulnerable state. Only her and no one else. Because only she knows what to do with this sort of exposure.

Her expression becomes unfamiliar momentarily, eyes glazing over as she looks down at me from her propped position. But then she smiles, the relief flooding her visage to such a degree that the happiness she exudes makes her more beautiful in my eyes.

My chest bursts with happiness, mirroring her grin. I lean my face forward to hers again and she meets me once more, laughing in my mouth before locking our lips for a second kiss.

Nothing can describe how I feel except two words: I'm home.

I'm truly home.

AN: This obviously isn't the last chapter. For some reason, I just couldn't end it properly, so expect another, final chapter. According to the end of this chapter it'll be Haruka's but I might change it to be in multiple POVs cuz I feel like it haha. Regardless of the fact, I know this is very late. It's been two months...and I really, really need to take up a time management class or something, cuz being busy is the worst excuse I can give, but it's the only, real, valid one I have. Sorry for the wait. Hopefully the last one will come out much sooner than this. Trust me when I say the guilt (a lot like Haruka's, but probably not to the extent) eats me whenever I put something out and it's not being updated quickly enough. Alright, umm...disclaimers: Pokemon...I think that's it, seeing as I've already done disclaimers for the other ones I mention in previous chapters. Ganbare and ganbarimasu are in Japanese. For some reason they sound better when I wrote them that way; usually I don't like to write any words in Japanese unless it sounds better and this is the point here. They mean: go for it and I'll try my best, along those lines. If you don't know what amigurumi is, google image it with Totoro and you'll see exactly what it is. I think...that's it. I know there's not much H&M interaction in this chapter...it wouldn't make a lot of sense if there was given that it's Michiru's daughter's perspective. Guess that's what the next chapter is for as well as the ending.

sethan83: I've put a lot of thought into Haruka's actions and more than anything I feel a lot of guilt is expected from her character due to everything that's happened. She eventually does take a bolder direction at the end of the chappy though which is inviting.

petiyaka: Haha...six months. Don't taunt me...it might just happen again XD I liked writing Haru's perspective although at times it seemed very unrealistic because of how she is versus her age. I couldn't dumb down my OC regardless. Oh well.

SHonLMicK: :) glad to be back and I hope Haru's POV wasn't that bad. I'm always unsure about OCs because there's a fine line between hating them and loving them.

hubble36: Thanks for the comments. This chapter wouldn't stop writing itself. So it's comparably longer than the last two. Hope it was worth the wait.

itou: A bit more with Daiki's situation is explained in the end of this chapter but not its entirety. Hopefully I can settle it. I've come to despise short stories cuz it feels as if there's just no time for explanations in them. Haru's short evolution was fun to write, especially at Haruka's assimilation into her life. Yes, I can definitely agree that she knows too much for her own age, but for the life of me (and I guess for the sake of a better flowing storyline) I couldn't change her enough to make it more realistic. A thousand apologies.

Marz: Haha expect what you're speaking of in the fourth chapter...I'll definitely put something in for Haru's birthday, seeing as that's Daiki's arrival. Four months in and the family should be accustomed to the closeness by then. Should be fun to write.

lostinhersong: Hmm keeping Haru may be problematic. Ask Michiru, although I would rent her for sure. Writing this story has reinforced my want of having a daughter threefold. I wanted Haru's POV to be a sort of retribution phase for Haruka. It kinda worked, it kinda didn't. Whatever that's left unsaid will be covered in the fourth chapter, at least I hope that's how it pans out.

omnomnom: Next chapter is truly the last chapter. After this story, I plan on coming out with other stories as well although I can't guarantee when it will be. Writing has become a passion I can't live without, so even though I don't update for a while, never expect me to be fully gone.

Chumba wumba: Hahaha you may be over-thinking it, but maybe Michiru loving only Haruka is something I'm under-thinking. Regardless, my explanation of sorts between their relationship is I guess too vague or not well thought enough. It makes sense in my head, but when it comes out...ngeh. It doesn't work out real well. The cooking scene (confusing I know): are invitations to other topics they'll cover eventually (next chapter), First being yes, Michiru being a Soldier, and second the regret that she hasn't done her life's passion because of Haru coming into her life. Haruka can toss it in the air and Michiru can understand it because apparently they can read minds in my fic haha. Sorry for the confusion. You didn't miss anything; when I write I just feel that if it make sense to me, I don't fiddle with it anymore. Yeah, I had to make Michiru retort in that manner because well...they truly are adults and frustration more than anything. As for criticism, don't mind me. Hurl 'em. It's not to say I take them well...I don't. Haha. But honesty is a policy I completely adhere to. Falling in love with someone over a long period of time is unrealistic, I shall agree. Having it done so there's a build-up of angst to make a story dramatic works well. I shall agree again. Although the romantic in me wants things to be like this, I know they're not, hence why it can only make sense in stories. I'll try for an approachable, more realistic story next time. For this one, pardon the fairy tale. It was only after you pointed it out (I actually went back to my stories to prove/disprove you) and you're right! Michiru's always the one getting em together! Woooow...I...didn't notice. My perspective of Haruka runs so deeply that I, for the life of me, can't take her out of the persona I've built for her: strong exterior, emotional fortitude. I see her as someone who is strong physically, but mentally it seems like it may be a losing battle. I dunno...for some reason how she was depicted in Super, what with all the emotional angst on finding the talisman, wanting to kill, not wanting to kill, she seemed more emotionally unstable about the whole thing than Michiru, so...that may be the root of it. I shall tell you when I figure it out.

Mantaray: Haha boxing and writing stories...I never thought to make them comparable. Haruka's is made from guilt at least that's the delivery I'm giving. She'll get over it. Michiru will help her. Haru has helped in more ways than one. Who knows? Maybe she asked for the whole camping thing just to push em together? haha

Tripower: Michiru's always free. No man stands alive!...so long as Haruka's still in the picture anyway. In Haru's defense, as a ten year old, she doesn't get why it's a big deal until halfway through the story. And even then, she still doesn't get it fully. Oh well, possibly when she's older. My happy world is all I have to give. Haha. Thanks for waiting patiently. Hope you like this chapter as well.

senshixxl: Hello, reader-san, You know I noticed through my writing that there's always a scenario or topic in my stories where, of course it's been done before. When I think of a story and how I'd like the flow to go, I direct most of the drama into the buildup of the end stage rather than pushing it into other unnecessary crevices. Michiru's divorce is one of them, Daiki is another. To me, this story is Haruka coming back home. Nothing more. Hmm...that sounds kinda disappointing. Haru and Hotaru being alike in the sense that they're perceptive is understandable, although Hotaru's perception was in the creepy side, what with the world ending and SM dying perspectives. Hmm, maybe we have a misunderstanding? Michiru and Daiki divorce when Haru is barely six. I wanted it to happen when she has a sort of understanding as to what's going on, but not long enough to merit a too martyr like decision to end, so no, not ten years. You're right...ten years is a long time to marry someone who you don't love.

AlterEgoErin: It's a pain, trust me! You know...I can understand not being a big fan of kids in fics. I'm not one for them myself. I guess in the end, it may just be how the author melds them into the story. I've read my share of fics. I'm very familiar with two dimensional original characters. I've made some myself. But...I dunno. It's up to the author usually...and I like Haru...at least the way she's painted. Glad you're favorable to her as well. She has a lot of Haruka in her, I shall reinforce that thought. What Michiru does for a living, has not been clarified. To be honest, she doesn't...do anything. Not right now. She and Haruka will delve into it the next chapter. I've played around with the fact that she and Haruka BOTH seemed VERY well off in the manga as well as the anime and the fact that she also had several years to herself and possibly a career before having Haru in which she's taken a sabbatical since. Sorry for the little to no H&M interaction on this chapter, but the next should prove to be at least better than this one in regards to that. And dang, your comments has me blushing although I shall also disagree and say, I (strongly believe) am not the best author in this side of the SM verse. I dunno...I see my stories and they're mediocre at best. /Shrug, that's how I feel I suppose.

CoOkiE86: Haha, the best ending is a happy one after all right? Well I'm glad my explanation sufficed you. I guess it may be just a play on perspectives in regards to Michiru being asexual hahaha. I hope I didn't insult some readers in saying about happy endings and making their own stories to suffice the emotion they want though. I'm a firm believer that everyone likes a happy ending; I certainly do. Nothing else seems to work out best.

Anon: Haha glad you think so.

Another anon: Hahaha, I'm glad I hurt you? I'm not sure how to answer. I'm glad it brought out the emotion I wanted though...at least that's enough for me. Haha you should direct me to the many stories where they just have sex scenes. I...never read any of those XD I'm just kidding. I like to build up emotions I suppose. I like em talking more than tearing each other's clothes. There will come a time for that, but not until they're both ready emotionally.

Tenoh and Kaioh: Heh, you're pretty spot on with the guesses, although I suppose it's also because it's a storyline written and engrossed over before. Unoriginality plagues me, I apologize. A...brownie? One that Haruka, Haru and Tsubasa does not eat. You may have a brownie for all the correct guesses you've managed :D Back to me being completely unoriginal, I truly try. I know the things I delve into are not original at the least, but those stories I read do not suffice the scenes I want, so there I go trying to create my version. /Shrug, I'm not sure. I'm glad you like my spin on it though.

Meneldur: haha canon Haruka and Michiru not in-love. I'm sorry...I mean that is what my story is but when you put it that way...gosh...how can I even say it's canon? It's laughable. No, no behind the scenes in which she interacted with the other soldiers have happened. I...feel the main cast in this is the Outers more than anyone because as you say, they were a family. It's definitely pointed out in this chapter. As for the Inners, I'm sorry to say that they probably will not show only because I never saw them being as close as Setsuna and Hotaru is to Haruka and Michiru hence why they may not care as much. It's not to say they don't, but...yeah. I hope you get what I'm trying to say. It's two thirty in the morning, I have work in a few hours...yeah.../sigh.

one of many anons: I'm glad you've taken time to read my other fics and enjoyed them immensely. I feel like I've done a good job just from that small praise. Although I like my share of high school fics as well, I must agree with you that them being adult like isn't very common. Maybe we'll see a growing trend? I'm glad you've taken the time to review. I myself am not one for reviewing fics, regardless of how good (or even bad) they are. I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic and if you'll stick around for further ones in the future, I hope you like those as well.

poipoi-chan: Haha Kamen Rider...got demoted. I'm sorry...it's...been a while. But I'll update now...yes...now.


	4. Family

Chapter 4: Family

I awake to small, but violent shakes, goose bumps riding on skin as my fingertips graze over a cool arm. A sweet giggle reaches my ears and right after, a chattering of teeth.

I open sleep heavy eyes and meet sparkling sapphires, the wide grin on the small, cute face eliciting a smile from mine.

"Morning Haruka," the small tomboy whispers loudly, before the cold brings her mouth to quiver once more.

I chuckle, careful not to wake her mother's still sleeping figure snuggled tightly on my left side and her head comfortably nestled on my neck.

"It's cold."

I laugh at Haru's obvious statement, the inadvertent rumbling my chest makes stirring the violinist minimally.

"Shh," I whisper back, my hand patting down disheveled, short wild aqua locks. "You're gonna wake mama."

"Mama's awake," Michiru states sleepily her head delving deeper in my neck and some loose curls tickling my cheeks. Her eyes, however, remain shut as her child and I look at her warily.

"Mama," Haru calls, her voice still in an incessant loud whisper.

A grumble escapes from my partner causing me to chuckle.

"Mama, it _snowed_!"

Michiru's arm around me tightens, soft lips grazing my neck as she whispers, "I figured it would."

I raise the blanket over an exposed shoulder, loving how long smooth legs curl further with my own beneath the covers.

"I left my slippers outside—the soft Totoro ones. The snow's all over it now. I don't think I can walk in them for a while...and I really need to pee."

Sleep induced laughter escapes from her and finally we're both graced with the opening of warm sapphires, accompanied by a small yawn and eye rub.

"Have you asked for Haruka to carry you back?" she asks with a smile, eyes twinkling as she looks over the two of us.

Haru and I shake our heads in unison.

"You were sleeping so well and if I took Haruka, it'd _definitely_ wake you up."

She nods in agreement, embracing me deeper. "She's definitely our source of warmth right now."

Her daughter follows in tandem and hugs my right side tightly as well. "Like a skinny teddy bear."

"Oi!"

They laugh at my harassed tone as I poke my partner in the side with my free hand. She jerks, narrowing her eyes at me, but the playful smile on her wakening visage betrays the upcoming reprimand.

"Speaking of having to be carried, I remember vividly that you didn't even _bring_ your slippers Michiru. At least Haru _tried_."

"Mou," my partner sounds with a pout attached. My heart melts just a little bit more.

I laugh, sitting up and taking both of them with me by doing so.

"Alright," I concede and point at Michiru. "You! Piggy back. And you." I turn over to Haru and pinch cool cheeks. "Piggy front. Let's go."

They giggle from my enthusiasm, scrambling in place while I unzip the tent's flappy door and a shiver involuntarily creeps up my back.

The outside world is pure, blanketed in sheer blindingly white, undisturbed snow. The trees surrounding the perimeter of the backyard are hunched more than usual, the extra weight pulling the branches closer to the earth. But instead of it looking like a forlorn picture, it feels as if the trees almost happily give way to the sudden weight.

The house is also a pristine picture of perfection, the four inches of risen snow from the rooftops painting the whole structure in holiday colors. Three or so weeks back, Michiru and I trudged through her attic and wrestled boxes upon boxes of Christmas ornaments. It took three days of hard labor and my partner's clear instructions to put them all over the house, externally as well as internally. It appears the back breaking labor was worth it, for this perfect picture scene before me spelled home more than any hotel or rented villas I've ever entered-whether or not it had its own decorations isn't a factor.

Haru pulls my shirt, my sightseeing making her impatient. Squatting, I carry her baby/bridal style as her mother climbs her way on my back and clamps her leg at my waist, arms secure around my neck.

A grunt escapes out of me as I hunch out of the tent, almost missing slipping my own slippers on (which totally doesn't help because the snow's too deep), and beeline it to the sliding door.

The bundled flakes sting at my toes causing inward and outward yelps. Sweet laughter reaches my ears from both mother and daughter though which makes the experience worthwhile.

Haru's the one to pull the door, giving me a quick grateful hug before jumping off my arms and sprinting to the nearest bathroom.

As the bathroom door slams, another chuckle rises from us and I feel warm arms tighten around my neck. I turn my head to sparkling sapphires, my expression mirroring hers of mirth and contentment.

"Our hero," she says softly with laughter in her voice making me sigh jokingly.

Smooth legs unravel from my waist, her arms following suit until her feet reaches the floor, but once again she holds me, her hands clasping this time at the base of my stomach. She leans into my back and I hear her breathe in deeply, feel that loving smile widen on her face.

"Yesterday wasn't a dream right?" she asks in a near whisper, and I shake my head vehemently before my mouth can even answer, fingers twining with hers.

I turn fully, grazing my fingertips on warming cheeks and I shake my head again, slower this time, deliberate.

"It wasn't," I say clearly, locking with her eyes. "I'm sorry I took so long..."

I trail off as she shakes her head as well. "I had a feeling it would take a little time so I gave it."

"Good thing you're so perceptive then," I reply back just as cheekily.

She laughs, standing on her tippytoes to give me a chaste kiss. I groan at the quickness of it, but then the padding of feet reach my ears and I understand just a bit more. I see the twinkle of mirth in my partner's eyes as our limbs untangle from one another and Haru comes running around the corner at full speed.

"Haruka! Let's build snowmen!"

I laugh as she jumps up to me and I swing her until her tiny arms are grasping my neck and thin legs rest on my waist.

"Shouldn't we help mama with breakfast?" I ask, all three of us making our way upstairs.

"No..." she trails off and bonks my head as soon as one foot reaches the first step. "Outside is that way," she says, pointing to the frosted window facing the front yard.

"Yes, well we need to brush our teeth and freshen up first, _and then_ we can ask your mama if we can play _and then _we can build snowmen," I retort.

She huffs, seeing the logic in my words.

"Mama, can we play outside?"

She nods easily. "Hotaru-chan and I are going to go Christmas shopping this entire week. We have to get something for your many aunts and one uncle so it'll keep us busy."

"Haruka's here to keep _me_ busy," she says back with a wave of dismissal.

"Does Haruka get a say?" I ask receiving two shakes of heads. I jab at their sides earning me simultaneous slaps at my arms. "This abuse...I'll have to get used to it."

Their laughter rings in my ears.

O-O

The smell of a Western breakfast frying in the stove floats through the crack of the window, my stomach rumbling in tandem to the delicious smell. I'm rolling a snowball half my height, Haru on the other end of the now ravaged lawn rolling her own ball.

"Do you think we'll need to grab more snow from the backyard?" she asks causing me to chuckle.

I take a second look at the spacious yard and shake my head. "Something tells me we'll be alright."

I give the ball one last lurch before stopping it in place, Haru rolling hers with a bit of difficulty until she's next to me as well.

"Wanna build Totoro snowmen?"

Her eyes light, bright and wide as if Christmas came early at my question and I just laugh at the childish wonder and excitement etched all over her visage. We get to work quickly after that.

As I carry the smaller ball on top of the bigger, stationary one, she digs through the ice and snow for twigs, leaves, and rocks for the details. We work quietly, our gloved hands impeding and quickening the process until several minutes pass, a hill of miscellaneous stuff is piled next to the snowman and both of us are just patting the sides with more snow from all around us to create an egg like shape for the body.

"What're you giving Michiru for Christmas?"

Haru looks up at my kneeling form in the middle of her task, her expression becoming serious momentarily.

"I dunno," she shrugs casually after a brief second. "I usually shop with nee-chan or Suna ba-san."

"What about giving her something you can't buy?"

Sapphires roll cutely at me before she goes back to the snowman. "I'm not Tsuabasa..."

I laugh while gathering more snow with a gloved hand. "Course I know you're not Tsuabsa silly. I was moreover thinking something like...playing one song on the piano."

She doesn't blanch at the idea like I thought she would. Instead, her eyes become seriously appraising at the ball of snow in front of her.

"Is one week enough time?"

"Yep. I won't teach you proper hand techniques or anything like that. Just...we'll play solely on you memorizing the notes after teaching you where they are. One week should be enough. It's all dependent on how well you memorize and assimilate the information."

"And how am I supposed to study with mama at the house?"

"We'll play elsewhere. The pretense: making up with Setsuna and you tagging along."

"For the whole week?"

"I'll talk to Setsuna about it and she can give the excuse that she's hard headed and I am too. It should be believable...seeing as we both _are_ hard headed."

A small smirk graces a small face. "Kay."

I'm taken aback at how simple she accepts it. "Really?"

She nods. "Of course there's a condition."

I sigh outwardly and frown. "Then don't say yes so easily."

She grins, but doesn't miss a beat. "Why'd you keep playing the piano?"

The easy question startles me and I can't recover fast enough to hide the small amount of pain visible through my expression.

"You caught that huh?"

My hands automatically pat down the snowball before me, my actions mechanical and inadvertent. It gets quiet for a moment until I hear her scuffle closer to me, cool hands encompassing my just as cold cheeks wordlessly. Brilliant sapphires look back at me, her smiling face from before replaced by a worried one.

"You like to hide how you feel," she says softly, a frown flittering across her soft visage. Her words make my eyes widen in surprise. She only smiles infinitesimally. "And it would work if I wasn't looking at you all the time. But I do. I guess mama and I are the same in that way...because she's really perceptive about you feel too. To the world, you're hiding your feelings. To us, you're wearing it on your sleeves. But...that's just what's being in a family is all about, isn't it?"

I can feel my eyes widening, silence surrounding us to the point where the little sounds, like a car honking in the distance or the heavy snow finally giving a tired branch reprieve reaches my ears, but doesn't assimilate in my head. All I can see is this little girl before me, her small smile fluttering unapologetically because she knows she's said something that's shattered my mind and her patience, something I know she gets from her mother, shows by how she just holds my widened stare and waits until we're both in the same page, cool hands still holding my face in place.

I close my eyes, my heart feeling like it's bursting into pieces. And again I wonder just how my pitiful existence could have merited such a wonderful child and mother to me.

"How am I so lucky?"

Her sapphires turn confused for a moment by my sudden words, but I shake her unstated question off, smiling wider and pulling her up with me until we're, once again, at the same height. I rest my forehead with hers, a baby lotion smell flittering in my nose as we share the same fogged breaths.

"I completely adore you Haru-chan," I say softly and her smile widening is all I needed as an answer even though I figure she'd say more.

She pats my cheeks. "You're cool too Haruka."

Her words make me laugh, her laughter coming in tandem with mine shortly. And before I can say more, because my head is urging me to tell her just _why_ I still played the piano, I hear a sudden—

_Click._

The sound surprises me, Haru's amused laughter ringing even louder in my ears and my peripherals catching a flash. Turning around, I see Michiru at the threshold of the front door, a black camera in hand and a warm smile gracing a beautiful face.

"Couldn't let such a perfect picture pass me by," she says with a smile, making mine widen.

"Mama! Come outside and help us make Totoro!" Haru cries enthusiastically, her finger pointing over our unfinished snowman.

She turns around and deposits the camera on a nearby table without disappearing from our sight, turning back around to us with a sudden mischievous look on her face.

"The thought of Haruka getting a face full of snow is really the only incentive I'd need to go out there," she says rather impishly and with a smirk that raises one of my own.

"Well that action requires you to actually come out of that house…which I can guarantee will prove dangerous for your well-being," I retort easily.

My partner steps through the threshold of the house, her eyes glinting at the outspoken challenge.

"Oooohhhhh…" Haru sounds out as I put her back down to the ground and sweep some snow in my hands in the process.

But then the soldier of the sea runs back in the house again, pink tongue sticking out and sweet laughter trailing her disappearing form even before the snow in my hands can be compacted into anything throwable.

"In your dreams Tenoh!" she calls out. "Breakfast is ready by the way!"

I eye her daughter who's smirking at me, already deciding that I've lost the battle that hasn't even started.

"You're mama's a scaredy-cat."

Haru only shakes her head. "Nah, she knows which battles to fight. That makes her _smart._"

I laugh at the little girl's words and gather her up again, taking her with me back inside and leaving the half-finished snowman behind.

O-O-O-O-O

The door before me opens, garnet orbs eyeing me back beyond the barrier.

"Hi, Tsuna ba-san!" Haru calls from next to me and drags me in with her, hugging the tall woman before making her way fully into the condo and leaving the time soldier and me at the entranceway.

"Hey…Tsuna ba-san," I greet sheepishly causing those same eyes to roll. A big part of me is relieved though when I see an exasperated smile follow.

"To what do I owe this surprise visit?"

"A favor…possibly." A sculpted eyebrow rises in askance at my almost question. "And a talk…definitely."

She makes her way into her house, not needing to signal me to follow. As we make our way to her living area, Haru's already at an upright piano at the side and touching the keys gently with her fingers.

I sit on one of the sofas while Setsuna deviates to the kitchen, the sound of the stove turning on reaching my ears.

"Do you still take your coffee black with two cubes of sugar?"

Her question makes me smirk, but I nod regardless of her seeing me do so or not.

"Yeah."

It's quiet for a few minutes save for a tinkling of random piano keys and the activity in her kitchen and it gives me enough time to look at her small condominium.

The place is impeccably clean, chic due to her possible internal decorating days (whether she ever said it was a hobby or a profession, I've never really asked), but mostly it was small and homey.

The living room is lowered, a single sofa facing a coffee table, a small TV beyond that and the upright piano to the left of the screen. Behind me is a small dining area, enough to fit only four people and to the right of that the kitchen. A closed door in the living area leads me to assume the room beyond is a bedroom and possibly the only bathroom in the household.

In the middle of my observations, Setsuna places a mug of coffee before me on the table and another at the edge nearest Haru, the sofa lowering to my left side as she settles in. She curls her legs under her and takes a sip of what I smell to be jasmine tea, her garnets eyeing her niece momentarily in askance.

"Has Haruka sparkled your interest in the piano Haru?" she asks in between sips.

I grab my own mug and with a grateful nod, take a sip of its familiar bitter semi-sweet contents as well.

"Kinda," Haru answers casually, places the lid back over the keys and takes her milk tea over to the piano stool to drink.

The time soldier faces me once more, her look shifting to curiosity.

"I'm gonna teach her _Wind_ for Michiru for Christmas."

Her lips curl into a smile—wistful, nostalgic.

"She'll be happy about that."

I nod, my gaze drifting to other parts of her home as my mind pulls me back from day one of my stay at the Kaioh household. "In my one month stay there I haven't seen her pick up the violin," I start softly, my eyes drifting to the right of Haru and onto the black piano. "It's just sitting there in the second living room, accompanied by the piano and other instruments, looking like some sort of…collection."

"MIchiru doesn't play often anymore," the time soldier says, adding to my trepidation. "Maybe it's her way from abstaining a desire she feels is best left untouched."

"How often does she play?"

She shrugs, her attention to the wisps of smoke emitting from her beverage. "Probably only when a muse hits her so hard that she can't resist writing it down. But as I said, for her to pick up the violin and actually play it…it's quite rare these days."

I sight outwardly, my attention now averted to the creamy walls.

"Even before high school…regardless of the stuff all of us had to do, she always made time," she continues. "But that was then…"

The way her voice seems defeated irks me. "Time doesn't change your life's passion," I grunted, my grip on the mug becoming tighter without thought.

"But it does cause deviation."

"Yeah, but that shouldn't make you stop completely. It feels like she's…given up."

"She hasn't. Just…her priorities have changed."

Our stares shift from whatever we were looking at to the subject of our conversation's daughter simultaneously. The little girl answers us with an uneasy look.

"I want to do something for her," I say softly, and lock eyes with sapphires that remind me so much of Michiru. "But it requires everyone's help. She won't say yes unless she's sure it won't backfire to something she'll regret."

"What do you need me to do?"

My attention shifts now to garnets eyeing me in askance.

"This is for Michiru…"

She smirks, eyes rolling. "I know that Haruka. _What_ do you want me to do?"

"Move in with us."

Her eyes widen in surprise at my boldness and I have to look resolute because it would seem as if I'm just going into this without worry or thought. But I'm not. I've been thinking about this, ways to make Michiru happy—as happy as she can be given what I can do about it. She deserves it. Everyone should know…she deserves it the most.

"You're totally going into this without thinking."

I shake my head to refute, but Haru's excited, "Tsuna ba-san's moving in with us?" makes me chuckle outwardly.

Setsuna's hand palms the air in silence, making both of us stop although Haru plopping up and down on her seat in a giddy manner only slows.

She eyes me seriously. "What's going on in that blonde head of yours?"

I chuckle and lean back into my seat. "I want Michiru to resume the violin. For that to happen, we'll have to take out her biggest fears and concerns, the biggest being Haru's well-being. It'll take a lot of her time, possibly traveling, and Haru's at an age where she still needs constant attention and looking over. Michiru won't trust anyone, but the closest people to her to take care of Haru in the cases of long absences. I _know_ I'm not enough. For the majority of her fears to be alleviated, it'll also take you and Hotaru."

I see my words go over Setsuna's mind in the midst of her sipping her tea and shifting her position in the sofa.

"Setsuna…this is me not running away." The sentence comes out too soft, and my attention drifts to the ground because humility, once more, makes it difficult for me to look at her with the same pride and dignity as before. "I'm sorry…about what I've done. I truly am. I feel like this is the best form of atonement for me.

"I _know_ I'm not in any position to ask for favors, especially not from you and Hotaru. But really…you're the only ones I have. You girls are the only family I've ever had. You know this of me. I wouldn't be asking this if I could do it myself—

"Stupid Haruka, who told you, you can do it yourself?"

I note the brashness in Setsuna's voice, but also hear the softness laced within the almost endearment. She gets up and looks at me with a softening in her eyes I haven't seen for a long time. Putting the teacup down onto the coffee table, she raises her arms to me and smiles, and I feel my heart lighten so much it becomes almost unbearable. We hug, her arms coming around my shoulder to pat my back.

"Do you realize how long we've been waiting for you, you dummy?"

My forehead falls on a strong shoulder, my nods coming in repetition.

"Always acting like the world revolves around you."

I laugh and push her away with my head playfully. "That's enough…"

She ruffles my hair endearingly, stepping out of our hug and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Have you spoken to Hotaru about this?"

I shake my head. "I will before Christmas—within the next couple of days. Michiru can't know until it's all taken care of though."

She nods understandingly.

"I'll get in touch with the person who used to be her manager before she gave birth to Haru. They were in good terms and she's risen to becoming a producer last I heard."

I smile, glad that everything's folding smoothly. "One last thing though, it'll take a week to teach Haru the song. Can we use your piano?"

"Better yet, Michiru asked me and Hotaru for shopping sprees. We'll do our best to keep her out of the house for at least a few hours per time."

I snicker. "Shouldn't take a lot of persuasion."

She smiles deviously. "No, it should not."

O-O-O-O-O

"We're telling mama tomorrow right Haruka 'cuz I'm super bad at keeping secrets for too long."

I smirk at the cute pout of the little tomboy before me. "I'll have to remember that…"

"I'm serious!" she yells, her voice echoing down the stairwell.

I put a hand over small shoulders, the familiarity of the action over the last couple of months making me smile as we head our way down.

I nod to the question nonetheless. "Tomorrow."

She grins. "You think she'll like it?"

"She'll love your gift. As for mine, Hotaru's, and Setsuna's…" I trail in apprehension.

She looks up at me thoughtfully. "You think she won't like it?"

I shake my head, mulling over my words now and later for when a great argument is needed. "She'll be apprehensive because it requires leaving you for certain lengths of time. But…we're ready for her."

We stop at the foot of the staircase and I kneel down to the little girl's eye level, palms covering small shoulders and locking with clear sapphire eyes.

"The question that you should be really asking me…"

She groans loudly, her rolling sapphires causing me to trail off. A cross look mars through her soft features making me graze the tips of my fingers over her face in reflex.

She sighs, batting my hand away playfully. "Didn't _we _talk about this already?"

I nod and open my mouth to clarify only for her to stuff her palms over my lips.

"Haruka! It's okay! It'll be _fine_!"

I speak, but a muffled unintelligible version of what I say comes out instead. She giggles and I'm the one to roll my eyes this time. I encase both small hands in one hold and look at her seriously. She sighs again, but looks at me in a just as serious demeanor.

"You'll be saying these exact same words in about twelve hours," she says, getting ahead of me again word-wise. "Tsuna ba-san will be here. Hotaru nee-san will be here. _You_ will be here. _I_ will be _fine_."

She looks at me seriously, her words painting her features in exactly the right light.

I sigh and look down, conceding defeat.

"On to more important matters, does _Wind_ sound good?" She grins rather proudly.

I match her look again, getting up and ushering her to the kitchen.

"Sounds perfect," I compliment, knowing the words aren't needed.

I've repeated it to the point where Haru would clog her ears and speak nonsensically for a minute sharp just to tune me out—she's a natural at playing the piano. Not only was she able to learn to read the notes quickly, she was able to assimilate proper hand techniques and use them to her advantage. These coupled with great hand-eye coordination and a steep learning curve made me almost wish she'd change her mind about at least learning it to her full capabilities; I want to see just how far she could go.

We step into the kitchen to find Hotaru leaning over the oven, peering at a boneless honey ham in scrutiny.

The smell of the house since I've woken has been magical. I've forgotten how holidays _smelled _like, becoming more accustomed to the generic aromas of hotel buffets for whatever occasion called for a large meal. The intertwining smell of a western holiday meal had me salivating even after a hearty breakfast and lunch and the only thing stopping me are three pairs of eyes, purple, garnet, and sapphires respectively, dagger staring me to not touch a thing while they slaved over a rich meal to be shared with a larger family I haven't spoken to or seen in ages.

"Michiru and Setsuna ran to the store to grab some last minute things," Hotaru states with her back still to us and her attention to the heated oven before her. "The dinner at Usagi-chan's will be in about five hours."

I nod while Haru and I sit on the island's stools, swiveling every now and then while watching her hard at work. She closes the door and turns to us, giving me her undivided attention as she eyes me in a bit of scrutiny. I must admit, her serious look still doesn't sit right with her angelic face.

My eyebrow goes up in question as she continues to eye me without any word. "…Yes?"

She chuckles a bit, leaning on the island after giving a cookie to Haru.

"Are you nervous?"

I sigh loudly as my mind veers into the other thing that's been making my mind jumbled all day, her question entailing that she's read me like an open book—just like everyone in this household.

"They'll be happy to see you again you know."

I nod, but I know I still look unsure.

"If Usagi-chan cries, know it's because she's happy."

I groan, palms and fingers rubbing across my face as heavy guilt eats at me relentlessly.

"It would be so much easier if everyone just hated me…" I mutter, my words releasing an easy chuckle from my surrogate daughter.

"Life's never easy Haruka-papa!" she says brightly and ruffles my hair.

The twinkle in her eyes makes my lips quirk and for Haru to chuckle in between bites of her cookie.

"Speaking of which, my stuff is already packed. Say the word and I'll move in."

This causes Haru to plop from her spot uncontrollably in excitement, cautions from both me and her sister coming in tandems. I hold her waist just to be sure she doesn't fall as I look back at Hotaru's easygoing expression.

"I still need to talk with Tomoe-san."

She nods, but also adds, "I've told him the reason, but I'm sure he'd like to hear it from you and Michiru."

I nod, adding it to my after holidays to-do list.

"And he's alright with it?"

"Yeah, he understands that it's my decision and it's not something that's going to change."

I smile, her warm words making my chest tighten. "I really appreciate this Hotaru." My voice again becomes soft, almost imperceptible as our eyes lock and all I see in her unfathomable purples is a love for me and this family that I can't understand. I probably never will, even if she sits down and tries to explain. But I'm glad that she's here. That she and Setsuna have not only listened but complied and understood and I know it's not just for Michiru, but for my cause as well. And the only words that I can supply are never ending streams of, "Thank you."

My firefly smiles widely, walking around the island and consuming me into a hug, holding my head in place with warm, strong arms. I wonder to myself when she got this strong, and curse inwardly again at something I've missed. I pull Haru to us and we stay in a comfortable hug, my little tomboy feeding us cookie crumbs while we wait for our housemates in comforting silence.

O-O-O-O-O

I should be used to anxiety eating my stomach like a plague by now, but once again I'm surprised by how little I've changed. A warm hand grips my cold one, causing my uneasy expression to land on beautiful soft features.

"It'll be okay Haruka," she says softly, just low enough for the two of us to hear as the door opens and a loud scream pierces my ear.

An uneasy smile lands on my face, but my stomach settles just a bit easier because of the warm hand still holding tightly on my own.

"Haru-chan you're so big now!"

I have a good view of the blonde idol even though Michiru and I are at the very end of the front doorstep, Hotaru, Setsuna, and Haru all in front of us and holding the holiday dinner the girls have been slaving over the whole day.

Haru gives her a wide dazzling smile and offers the Christmas cake she's holding. "Mama got it especially for me! It's a panda cake!"

Minako laughs, the action simple and genuine, nods, and takes the cake from the little tomboy, sneaking a peak into the box. Her bright blue eyes widen as she stares back at Haru who only grins expectantly.

"It's…_adorable_!" she squeals and hugs Haru as she juggles with the cake box in one hand. "Thank you Haru-chan. Everyone's waiting inside. You should open the box and show them. They'll love it."

"Kay!" and with that she successfully gets the little girl inside the warm house.

She smiles at all of us mischievously, her smile widening just a bit more as it falls on the unsure one I'm trying to mask. She hugs Hotaru and Setsuna, ushering them inside the house after until it's just me and Michiru at the doorway.

"Michiru-san, I think you should go in first," she says rather resolutely, earning a chuckle from my partner.

The violinist looks at me appraisingly, maybe judging to see if I'm ready for the onslaught I wasn't prepared for, and somehow deciding that I was, unlinking our hands after a brief, but comforting grip.

"See you inside," she says softly, giving me a last warm look before entering the humble abode as well.

My eyes land on mischievous blue ones.

"Am I in trouble?" I ask suddenly, the tightness in my throat making my voice sound croaky more than anything.

Minako bursts out laughing, but only shakes her head. She closes the door behind her until only a slit of light remains from its opening.

"Michiru-san wanted to surprise everyone," she whispers to me, as if relaying a huge secret. It somehow is.

I lean more forward to catch her excited hushed tone.

"Of course it'd be best if there's a kind of delivery to it so she told me about you attending, and I, being the genius that no one else will proclaim I am set up…_that_!"

I follow her index finger to the side of the porch where a huge brown nondescript box sat on top of a small red wagon. I look back at her still excited face with a look of confusion on my own.

"…What is it?"

She sighs dramatically, making me laugh and poke her suddenly creased forehead. She drags the wagon to us and opens its contents, the porch light enough for me to make out a lot of wrapping paper inside, designed in colorful zooming racecars, two ribbons, one much bigger and longer than the other, and tape. Lots and lots of tape. She opens the box and looks at me seriously.

"Get in."

My eyes widen at the order. "Are…you—

"Yep," she cuts off much too happily and repeats herself. "Get in."

I sigh loudly, protests erupting at the back of my throat until—

"Everyone misses you."

Minako's smile is still there, but laced in her words is an indiscernible hint of melancholy. I swallow to retract the suddenly painful lump in my throat at the sound of it.

She smiles wider, grabbing one of the bows (the smaller one, I noticed) and places it so it's resting on top of my head, tying the ends at the base of my chin. "Don't make us wait a minute longer."

I nod almost instantly in compliance, getting inside the box as the idol keeps the wagon from rolling me away. I sit in the small area, my legs crossed over each other and my head ducking lower as she begins to close the lids above me, the mischievous twinkle in her eyes the last thing I see before total darkness. It takes several minutes of what I assume is preparation as I hear her pulling and cutting the wrapping paper and tearing the tape to look as presentable as she could muster given the cold working environment. Another couple minutes and finally, I feel the wagon begin to move.

The nervousness from earlier returns. The darkness and mystery that await me in the other side of the moving wagon also increases it ten-fold. I feel discernible warmth encompass my surrounding and hear the door click close, the sound of familiar voices coming nearer and nearer.

"Woah…_huge_ box," I hear Makoto whistle.

Footsteps near me as the wagon stops moving fully, a rustle emits three inches from where my head is as a voice states, "To everyone from Haruka?"

Ami…

More footsteps surround me and the box sounds loudly from the patting and rubbing made from the outside.

"So…she's not coming?"

Rei…

Silence. Even curious touches on the box stop to give forth to silence that I wish would just stop stretching.

Suddenly…finally.

"That's…too bad."

I want to get out. Because that voice. Broken. Sad. Lonely. Disappointed. Shatters in my ears and pierces it far more than any scream or noise can. Panic fills me as I look up to find nothing but darkness. I plead for someone…anyone to end the charade. So I can comfort her, and assure her that it's different this year. That I'm home. That I'm here and our family can be happy again. As happy as it was eleven years ago, when running away from their tenderness was, for some reason, the only option.

I'm almost ready to burst out of my cruel hiding spot when familiar footsteps reach my ears.

_Michiru…please!_ My mind screams. I'm beginning to think even screaming it out loud wouldn't do anything, but she saves me, as she always does.

"I say we open it. One present before midnight shouldn't be too much of a tradition breaker."

Silence answers her suggestion.

And then, "Let's open it together Usagi ba-san." I smile at Haru's words, the padding of her soft feet reaching my ears until they stop just before me. "Come on!" she prods. "I bet it's even neater than the bike she'll be giving me!"

I smile widely, shaking my head at her cute words.

"Nh," I hear Usagi concede and an enormous part of me rejoices. "Cute wrapping paper…very Haruka-san like."

The tearing begins, slowly at first and then turns quicker, more eager. My heart thumps so loud it's a wonder to me how they can't hear it, but finally, _finally_. The top part of the box opens and I see shining blues look down at me in shock, both a lot different and a lot the same from the mischievous blue ones that put me away. Her hand moves to her opened mouth, backpedalling softly as I stand up, careful to keep my balance so the wagon doesn't roll me away. But it seems this was a lost cause.

A couple of seconds only pass as eager, happy yells of my name surround the house and Usagi, the careless, loving queen that I've grown to love jumps up to me in joy, wraps her arms around my shoulders tightly, and proceeds to knock me and her off the foot high wagon. I lose my footing and begin to fall, the smile on my face mirroring the look of sheer happiness my queen is wearing, and I don't even _care _anymore that we're falling and it's going to hurt in a nanosecond. Everything just happens in reflex. That I'm going to do all I can so that I land on my back and she doesn't get hurt at all from the fall. That my arms are secure over her body so that she doesn't cause harm to herself when she realizes her mistake. That my body acts as a protective shell and I do what anyone in that room will do for her. A second later and my back smacks the smooth wooden floor.

O-O-O-O-O

A gentle finger runs tentatively over the sore spot of my back located just below my shoulder blades and I turn my head to concerned sapphires. I smile at her, alleviating the repressed anxiety I can feel rolling out of her in waves. It's well past midnight and Haru is on my lap, her arms clutching my neck and even in the depths of her sleep I can still feel the strength hiding in her small physique.

"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" Usagi asks again, her blue eyes darting to my eyes and back every now and again.

I chuckle, but keep my voice low for Haru's sake. "No, koneko-chan, we also have things to do tomorrow." As I say this, I stand up, careful not to grunt because of the soreness of my back and with the added weight of keeping the little girl propped securely in my arms.

"I can take her Haruka," Michiru says beside me, and I only shake my head, giving her a sure look before looking back at the married couple before me.

"Thanks for having us," I state gratefully which they both just wave away.

"You're always welcome here Haruka-san," Mamoru says with a gentle smile and gives his wife a soft nudge to hug me a final time before we leave.

"Thank you for coming."

She's cried several times into the evening already. And even though I know it's because she's happy to see me again, I mock glare at her to stop as I see fresh tears start building in her wide blue eyes. She laughs, brushes them away and hugs me again, giving one to Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru as well before walking us all into the front door. I glance at the sleeping girls in the spacious living area, Makoto and Ami sharing one loveseat that I'm sure they'll awaken to sometime in the early morning before their back becomes too sore to move the next day and Rei and Minako on another sofa, sprawled comfortably next to each other with the latter still holding onto the karaoke's microphone that she hasn't let go since making me go up to sing one of her new singles. I smile at the lovely scene—at the fact that they all spent a fair amount of time with me this evening to speak about what they've been up to, what I've missed, and catching me up to the speed of the present. And I smile at the fact that I assured them, promised them, that even though they may be far away due to their lives and jobs like I was, that I, like them, will always be open to another meeting with no reasons ever needed.

After another wave and final goodbye to the hosts, I carefully peel Haru off and place her into the cold middle seat of the car, Hotaru and Setsuna taking both her sides after I make sure she still remains lost in her dreams. The drive back home is silent save for the occasional yawns that became more and more infectious as the minutes rolled by. Once we get there, we part from Hotaru and Setsuna, both greeting us a Merry Christmas a final time before heading into the bedrooms that would be theirs when that time finally comes.

Michiru walks with me to Haru's room, spreading the comforters out before I lay the little girl into her bed. She detracts from me and curls to her side just as my partner rolls the blanket atop her, each of us giving her a kiss on the forehead and cheek respectively before leaving the room, turning the night light on in the process.

My partner gives me a concerned look just as she closes the door to her daughter's room, eyeing my back as she did so. Wordlessly, she tugs on my hand and takes me to the direction of her room, the action very similar to how it was the first time she took me there.

It dawns on me suddenly that ever since that night, I haven't gone back into her room. Of course this was mainly attributed to the fact that I was making her wait for a decision I knew the answer to already, but now as I trail behind her, a part of me rejoices that, that part of our ordeal is over. That I no longer have to hide how I feel and that to love her is not only expected of me, but also reciprocated by her.

This thought alone puts a smile in my face and as I look up, I see her mirroring my expression, her soft lips up in a quirk of a smile and her hold on me tightens infinitesimally. She closes the door as we pass the threshold, leading me to her bed after turning on a lamp light and sitting me down at the edge of it. She kneels in front of me, her actions deliberate and precise as skillful violinist hands suddenly begin to unbutton my dress shirt. My eyes widen at her boldness, and I can literally hear my heart thumping wildly against my eardrums at her actions. Loud…so loud. How can she not hear it?

And then she looks up at me with twinkling eyes and her smile widens, and I _know_ she _definitely_ hears it.

"Michiru ecchi…" I mutter and look away, knowing a small blush is painting itself in my cheeks, but letting her continue with unbuttoning the suddenly offending dress shirt nonetheless.

Her sweet laughter reaches my ears and I tell myself to breathe while eyeing a pink tongue dart out to moisten sweet full lips and a small cluster of white teeth biting said lip right after. Seeing just that, I feel all self-control sliding. I lean forward, expelling what's left of the distance between us, not minding that she's fully done unbuttoning my shirt and nothing, but my bra is left as she pulls it down my arms. Before I can reach those sweet inviting lips though, a finger is placed on top of mine to stop me, and the haze in which I gladly gave myself up in is lost almost immediately.

I look at Michiru in askance, wondering suddenly if I read her wrong—if I pushed too hard too quickly, and really _she's_ the one unbuttoning _my _shirt and I'm definitely the one pushing it too quickly right? She sees my inner turmoil, kisses me once, chaste and quick and moves behind me before I can even respond.

"Let me take a look at your back."

_Oh…_

I suddenly feel foolish and a bit ashamed that all I'm thinking of are lewd thoughts while she only wanted to check on my back, which I've forgotten through the haze, unsurprisingly enough. I feel like reprimanding myself. Of course it's too soon. It's only been a week. And with our nights camped out with Haru and the days filled with busy errands and last minute holiday shopping, of course there's really no time except a chaste goodbye kiss or a long goodnight kiss.

I sigh inwardly looking at the dim wall in front of me. I wonder how long it'll take for me to be able to read her in this aspect of our relationship. I wonder if she feels it too, a longing every time we simply touch.

Touch.

And there it is, a soft finger sliding against my skin, right on the spot where I landed roughly earlier this evening. My mind says it's supposed to hurt, but I don't feel it—only the gentle caress of a soft hand brushing against the bruised area of my back. The soft touch makes my throat swallow roughly, the beginning of goose pimples riding along my exposed upper body, and I know for certain that it isn't because I feel cold. No, if anything, the small caresses is igniting something in me. A feeling that may be familiar, but in the sense of knowing it's Michiru doing it…starting it…

_Too soon. _

My eyes close automatically as I savor the feeling.

_Does she know what she's doing to me?_

A part of me asks and yet another retorts.

_Still, it's too soon. _

I shake my head, not knowing I've done so outwardly, to better control my thoughts and thereby actions. More goose pimples settle into my exposed skin as another touch, so soft, so deliciously tempting almost makes me want to either growl or moan.

"Haruka, are you cold?" '

The sudden question and how it's delivered sets me aback—waking me a bit from my stupor.

_She must know what she's doing to me right?_

_Lie. Yes, you're cold. So she can help you put your shirt back on and you can go to your room and think about this over a nice cold shower. _

"Y…yeah…"

It feels like a small blessing that I can still talk amidst the torrent and the haze and the cluster of emotions my body's feeding into my brain. A warmth settles in a pool just under my stomach and I know that if this doesn't end soon I'm in trouble. As soon as this thought graces my mind though, her words jolt me out of the confusing maze my mind's concocted.

"Then…let me warm you up."

My breath hitches as I feel her soft hands replaced by even softer lips, trailing against my bruised back and up my neck, licking, sucking, leaving marks of heated kisses and I feel myself getting lost in a sea of want and need and passion and the only thing that can come out of me is an unintelligible moan to help process all that I'm feeling. I feel her sly smile, smirking at my inability for coherence and before the thought of making her go through exactly what she's making me go through assimilates fully into my head, her arms embrace me tightly, her lips stopping its lovely ministrations.

I turn my head and lock eyes with her, losing myself into thunderous, stormy sapphires. It dawns on me that I'm about to see a side of her she'll never show anyone—the side she's only reserved especially for me. And I know, without question or words, even if they're uttered or not, that she loves me unconditionally just from the way she looks at me. There's passion and need, want and desire, but always a look of adoration. She wants _me. _All of me. The good. The bad. The right. The wrong. Everything, without question or complaint. Just… I can only hope I'm showing her the same thing she's showing me.

Her hold on me lessens, just enough for me to turn my body to face her and carry her in my arms. Her hands clasp at my neck, holding on to me as I traverse through the bed on my knees, her legs around my waist and our lips finding each other once again. The sheets are cool against my palms as I softly lay her on the head of the bed, our tongues still dancing together in tandem and I revel in how natural everything feels—physically…emotionally.

We've always complemented each other, from the time we knew we were to fight together and become partners to our first kiss. Even though the two events are so far from each other in the timeline that is our life, the two of us, giving those memories actions fit, like jigsaws to a puzzle. A perfect fit.

How her body responds to my touches as much as hers elicit a response from me. How her mouth sculpts around mine perfectly. How our hands join in a tender, but strong clasp at our sides. How our hearts, impossible as it may, beat as if we're one.

How we can communicate without words.

Our kisses stop momentarily, quick shallow breaths shared in the small space between us and our eyes lock as a final decision is made even without useless words.

It's not too soon. We've been waiting our entire lives to be together. It can't be soon enough.

O-O-O-O-O

A part of me says I have to wake up, but an even stronger, more content part wants me to delve deeper into the blanket. My legs curl into smooth, soft skin, warm strong arms inviting me back into the world of dreams. And I would. I would be more than happy to laze here in my bed all day and not just to sleep, mind you. No…I would spend the better part of it reacquainting myself with the most glorious woman I've come to know—that I've just started to know, in the most intimate way.

But then the familiar pattering of feet reach my ears again, and did I even lock the door last night? I don't remember doing so…Only the look of pain in Haruka's face when she landed with Usagi in her arms and the night progressing that painful look into, what she thinks are, discreet grimaces. So of course I was concerned. And of course I wouldn't let her sleep without me checking it first, but it didn't occur to me just how much of a bad (or good depending on where you look at it) idea it was. Just the memory of her blushing exterior makes me flush all over again.

Her breathing's different from several minutes ago, and I know that she's awake now as well, so I place myself at her side, skin against skin, my head finding that comfortable nook in her neck and a strong hand rubs my back affectionately as if automatically.

A content sound comes out of my throat, earning a chuckle at her end before her husky voice asks almost cautiously, "Did we lock the door?"

Funny how we're always on the same page. And as if that's all that's needed to be said, inquired door bursts wide open just a second later.

"Mama!"

I curl into my partner in reflex, her strong hands leaving my back and pulling the blanket over until it's covering everything, but our chins and up. I move to accommodate her movement.

My daughter stands at the doorway, a bit frozen for a moment, looking at us in mild scrutiny.

Haruka grins at her, just a bit too innocently. "Morning!" is her cheery greet, earning younger sapphires to roll in cute exasperation.

"You're both naked aren't you?"

Haru's question sends my partner to turn my way and look at me in half-alarm.

"You gave her the talk already right?" she asks in a hushed whisper.

I chuckle and brush back wild blonde strands.

"Yes," I answer. "Although I doubt that's really what she wants from us right now."

Haruka turns back to my daughter, her expression uneasy and I find myself loving how cute and endearing she is amidst her explanation.

"We meant to tell you Haru-chan," she starts, kind of looking like the child being interrogated. "But everyone's been so busy, and you know, the holidays and all—

"Haruka, I-don't-caaaare," Haru cuts off, her words coming out whiny. "Let's go open presents! Nee-chan's separating them in piles as we speak!"

My partner sighs in exasperation, but her smile gives her away—a smile that guarantees my daughter could ask for the world and she'd try her best to give it, regardless of how impossible this feat may be.

"Give us ten. We'll be right down," she supplies, my daughter still at the threshold and now swaying from side to side impatiently.

One more second and, "Kay!" She disappears, the door shutting loudly at her wake.

Haruka sighs in apparent relief, pushing the blanket off our bodies and simultaneously depositing her body on mine, a lovely smirk on her handsome face.

I smirk back, trying to put on an innocent expression.

"Ara? I doubt ten minutes would suffice the actions going on in your head right now," I tease.

She laughs, and then eyes me hungrily, and I feel myself rousing just from the way her emeralds darken. She dips towards me, deliberately missing my waiting lips and clamps her mouth on a sensitive area on my neck. My hips buckle from the contact, my jumbled mind barely noticing that her thigh had placed itself conveniently between my legs until it's too late, and a wave of pleasure gives way to a moan.

My eyes close as automatically as fists claw into blonde strands and warm sheets, and I think I hear her laugh, but now I'm too busy grinding, finding ways to increase this suddenly building pressure at the base of my stomach. I feel her moving lower, to my collarbone, not missing yet another sensitive spot, and my mind screams at the unfairness of the situation; sure we made love more than once last night, but how can she know all these spots? And then she reaches one I'm sure every adult in the world knows would drive their partner crazy and all I feel is wetness and a never ending need, and before I can lose all semblance of control…she slides away.

My lids open just halfway, and I know by just how loud and fast I'm breathing that she's won this round, an evil cackle coming out of her as she beelines it to the bathroom and the door shutting after her. I groan, my unsatisfied body protesting with me, and all I can do is grab the sheets on all sides and pull them in mild aggravation—and really…that part needs to stop throbbing now so I can get my head back in place and actually punish my devious…girlfriend.

I open my eyes fully, meeting the ceiling. Girlfriend…For some reason the word isn't sounding quite right. It sounds…too informal—as if we're not close enough.

_Lover?_ my mind supplies, and I shake at it outwardly as well.

Lover sounds like she'll leave me tomorrow for a mistress…

Before I know it, a frown finds its way on my face, and I'm so lost in thought I don't notice Haruka standing out of the bathroom, her sly smile falling to a concerned look.

"Michiru?"

Her call breaks me out of stupor, and I smile in response but I can tell it's not enough.

She strides back towards the bed, looking absolutely wonderful in nothing and lays down on me again, the dark look from earlier missing.

"Is everything alright? Did I go too far?"

Her question, leading me to her train of thought completely vanishes the frown in my face. I shake my head vigorously before any words can even be supplied from my brain to my mouth. She looks almost convinced, but the small look of worry doesn't vanish.

I shake my head resolutely this time, smiling, loving her more and more just from what she can outwardly show me.

"No," I say loudly, determinedly. "I was just…thinking of what to call you."

She laughs, the confusion in the wonderful sound apparent.

"Just…by my name is not enough?" she asks jokingly.

"Hmm…" I sound out, looking up at the ceiling again in thought. "Girlfriend is too informal…as if we're still in high school. Lover sounds—

"Like I'm your one night stand."

We laugh, the twinkle in her eyes making my stomach do flip flops.

"Hence, my dilemma."

She gets off once more and sits at the side of the bed, grabbing our strewn clothes left and right.

"Well," she says, rather resolutely. "Until I can call you my wife, Michiru and Haruka sound just fine."

I feel my heart skip a beat from her bold statement, and all I can do is stare at her in wide amazement as she stands before me, unapologetic and with a proud smile on her features. My body tumbles out of the bed as if on automatic, arms consuming her in a hug, as our lips crash together again. And in the middle of the wonderful feeling of her lips finding mine and vice versa, I think that we may never leave this room.

O-O-O-O-O

"Put it on."

If we were alone, and she would ask this of me, I would do it without question. I would even be pretty excited. No, I would be _very, very_ excited. But with Setsuna sitting right behind her and our two daughters looking on, it's anything but.

I sigh and shake my head.

"Aww come on Michiru!" Haruka cries exasperatedly, making Setsuna and Hotaru laugh and for my daughter to grab it from her—it being a black blindfold.

"Mama, Haruka wants to surprise you," she explains, her voice sounding strained oddly enough, and when she holds the blindfold over my head, I see her hand shaking a bit.

Before I can ask her about it though, my vision swims in darkness and all I can hear are shuffles made from my housemates. I feel someone grab my hand, and know immediately it's Haruka just from mere touch. She embraces me from behind, whispering to my ear, "I'll lead you" and my body starts moving in tandem with hers, loving the strong arms holding my waist and the firm body supporting my own. I know immediately where we're going, and I'm not quite sure why. She sits me on a straight back chair and I hone in to her sound alone as soon as she lets me go, letting the other squeaks and thumps fall into the background.

An object is placed before me, making a small thud in the process. I can decipher the noise is made by a medium sized case. Two clicks bite the air. Then a shuffle. My eyes open wider as what's going on processes in my mind fully.

"Open your hand."

I reach out with my left hand automatically, and as soon as the coolness of the object hits my hand, my palm immediately encompasses it, the taut strings brushing against my fingertips familiarly.

My mind races.

How long has it been since I've played?

My mouth dries, throat swallowing in reflex as I take the instrument and place it on my lap.

"And the bow."

_Haruka, why are you doing this?_ I want to ask, but instead reach out again, as automatically as the first time. The handle of the bow is placed gingerly in my right hand and it joins the violin on my lap, my head looking up for further directions, but I know in just a moment I won't need any cues.

"You should tune it," I hear my partner say, and I know exactly where she is. I can picture her even. And it's a picture I haven't seen for a long time.

I hear the lid of the grand piano slide back, the pedals being pressed to the floor in assessment. I pull the violin to me, the chin rest finding its way habitually to my neck. I cradle it, pressing the bow against the strings and hear the beautiful sound come out. I can actually feel me palpitating, an excitement coming over me that I have no control over—different from making love, but holding a special place in my heart nonetheless. I tune it, sliding the bow back and forth until my ears are satisfied with the sound that emits. As soon as I'm done, I only hear silence.

I can feel their presence though, and I know it'll start soon.

The tinkling of the keys begin, soft and distant…lonely, making me smile and remembering why this composition was made.

_"You play?"_

_ A wistful smile. Then cocky, challenging. "You're not the only one who plays an instrument, you know." _

_ I counter her smirk, sitting on an empty stool beside the one she's sitting on. "Then show me." _

_ It only takes a moment for her to respond to the outward challenge. And at first, I feel her playing for me—displaying her talent, showing off…playing hard pieces just to show that indeed…I'm not the only one who plays an instrument._

_And then…it slows, and when I open my eyes I find hers closed._

_ This new composition is not one I've heard before. It doesn't show the blonde partner I've come to kind of know. It's full of longing and desire, disappointment…sadness…No trace of the confident girl who can hurl massive planetary balls, nor the soldier who's adamant in sacrificing three lives for the sake of the world._

_ All I see is a little girl…lonely and alone._

_ "Haruka?"_

_ My soft voice causes her hands to clash into the keys in surprise, emeralds widening at me, as if she's forgotten I was there. Her throat bobs uncomfortably and without word, slides the lid back over the keys, turning her back from the instrument. She stands, and I can tell she's made a decision already._

_ "Don't go…"_

_ She's frozen by my words, the only action coming from her the closing and opening of her right fist. I stand from my seat, walking closer and closer, until not even a foot separates us, and I realize that this has been the closest we've been since she's picked up her transformation stick and followed me willingly to the depths of this hell we've been forced into. My hand reaches a smooth cheek, noting the warmth, loving how it feels against my exploring thumb. _

_ "Let me in." _

I press the bow into the strings, joining the composition just in the right time—the perfect accompaniment.

A lot of people would say that the violin makes a pretty anguished sound when played—that usually next to a tinkling piano, it's morose and serious. Not a lot get that an instrument is a mirror to the musician's heart.

_"Play it again for me." _

_ She looks at me in confusion for a second before the request is understood fully. Before that day a couple weeks ago, I believe she would've questioned me…even refused. Now, she gives a shrug that she means to seem nonchalant, but can't pull off and leads me to the same music room. I smile, gripping my violin case against me protectively and follow her. _

_ She starts as she did a couple weeks before. She barely notices that I'm sitting closer, that my violin case is already propped open at my feet. The tinkling of the ivory keys fill the warm afternoon air again, the sound of an eager after school club barely registering in my head. She plays, just as magnificently…just as tragically. And before the song could dip into helplessness, my violin begins singing. _

_ I feel more than hear her surprise at my sudden accompaniment, but as soon as she gets over what I hope doesn't feel like an invasion to her private world, she plays again, just as she had before. I show her, through music, that she's not alone. I play around the moroseness of the piece and act as a relief, a backdrop. Most importantly, I play to make her understand…that I can be more than her partner in saving the world. I can be her shoulder, her resting place, her sanctuary, her confidant…her best friend. Someone who's there that knows her, inside and out—that can understand her…that knows that this is a piece she made for her dying mother…a woman who had understood and accepted her even when everyone else, including her father, didn't. A woman that told her to pursue her dreams, to never lose her way. A woman that proudly said she was perfect, just the way she was. _

_ Warm emeralds are looking at me as the piece ends and she tweaks it to sound differently. Like mine, it has a note of hopefulness that was absent a couple weeks prior. I mirror the smile she gives me, warm and thankful, and as she gets up from the piano bench and encases me in her strong arms, I know for sure that what I'm feeling is not an infatuation built from loneliness of wanting to share the burden of the world with her. _

_ No…I can't even lie to myself anymore. _

_ I love her…and I have no idea what to do about it. _

It's nearing the end of the piece and I find myself wishing it wouldn't end. The sudden shuffles around me does not impede my playing, proof that I've gotten caught into the song once more…as if we're in junior high all over again. I've missed this feeling, like the violin's an extension of me rather than a separate entity, and to live without it would feel as if I'm not alive at all. And it's this train of thought that crashes me back to reality…the why's and how's falling in place to build the perfect reason why I've abstained from playing for the longest time.

The blindfold comes off suddenly, the illumination of the room not over glaring so that my eyes adjust quickly enough, only to find the person I'm least expect sitting in front of the piano. The music cuts abruptly and similar, young sapphires stare back at me, a beautiful smile capturing a cute face. My eyes are wide in a surprise I can't hide and I look in wonderment at Setsuna and Hotaru sitting in one side clapping and at Haruka sitting very close to me, playing with the blindfold casually.

"Merry Christmas mama!" Haru greets earning laughter from everyone. I remain sitting, frozen for a moment, but not for long. I place my instrument down, still careful, but the need to hold my daughter becomes so empowering I don't even care that it's not properly in its case before running to the sitting girl and carrying her up in the air, her sweet laughter reaching my ears and her arms tight around my neck in a strong hug. I kiss her, spreading loving kisses all over her face and nuzzling her neck until she becomes too tickled at my actions and begins pushing my face away.

It takes a moment for me to settle down, Haru telling me exactly how she learned and eyeing a smiling Haruka the whole time as she did so.

"Only a week?" I ask again, the incredulity in my voice still there as if I haven't voiced that question within the last ten minutes.

"Haru has a real talent in playing," my partner says, standing up from her chair and walking to us, stopping just as she's a couple feet away. A serious expression changes her easygoing one, and the confusion isn't shared by me with the others. On the contrary it's almost as if they're expecting it. Haru scrambles off my lap and sits herself beside Hotaru and Setsuna, and I know they know I'm confused, but no one's shedding any light on the current situation.

I look at the time guardian who smiles at me warmly, her eyes appraising somehow.

"We'd like to have a serious conversation with you," Haruka says suddenly, drawing my attention back to her.

I nod, my voice coming out perplexed. "O…kay?"

I see conflict ride through her emeralds for a moment before finality. "We want you to resume the violin."

My eyes widen at words I definitely wasn't expecting. My head begins shaking even before my mind can fully assimilate the statement.

"Michiru—

"No."

"Why?"

She kneels to me, long fingers curling into my own and her eyes piercing me with just one look.

"Haruka…"

"Just answer why."

I frown. She should know why…even without me saying…

I feel pained and confused, and this shouldn't have been brought up.

I answer her pointed look with one of my own. "You know why."

"And if we can make that go away, would you still have a reason?"

I laugh mockingly. "You plan on taking Haru away?"

She shakes her head, her patient smile making my smirking one slink away. "No…_we_," she looks over to Setsuna and Hotaru, "_We_ plan on being there for her when you can't."

My mouth opens to protest, but her index finger stops me mid-thought.

"Michiru, you're more than a mother," she states resolutely. "We all know why you haven't picked up your violin. We all know why you've divided your attention to fit all your other hobbies except playing. We all notice it. You have a folder full of compositions you're dying to bring to life. Your hands…just…fifteen minutes ago were shaking just from the prospect of holding your violin again. And of course we know why you're abstaining from it. Because even before Haru…even before…being a soldier, you've known you can lose yourself in it easily. But here's what's different from eleven years ago…and I'm not saying this to stroke my ego. I'm _here._ Setsuna's here. Hotaru's here. Haru's surrounded by people who love her—who would never _ever_ let anything bad happen to her. We would protect her with our lives, because we love her. Just as we love you. And we're tired of sitting here, watching you abstain from your life's passion. It's like…watching a piece of you fade away in front of us. And you know it in your heart…that if this situation was reversed and it's us in your shoes, you'd be doing the exact same thing."

Her words sink in slowly, every word of it true. I can't match the fire burning in her eyes so I look away, not wanting to get sucked in to such temptations. I see Setsuna stand from her spot on the sofa and walk towards us, stopping just as she's beside my still kneeling partner.

"Michiru." Her voice comes out clear, mature.

That voice of authority I've never questioned. I lock with her garnets and I know she sees all the fears running through my eyes. But her smile…steady, even, comforting…alleviates me somewhat—makes me turn Haruka's words in my head again and again, questioning myself, asking…doubting.

"It may feel as if we have forever," she states, her voice resonating through room. "But you know as much as everyone that we don't have the luxury of eternity. A part of you knows that these peaceful days won't last. So before it's all over and your chance fades with it, seize the opportunity, and let us handle the rest. It's not to say you'll devote your life to music and forsake everything else—we'd never allow something like that to happen. But while you're busy, and your attention can't be divided in even doses, we'll take care of the rest. My bags are packed. So are Hotaru's. We've all spoken about this and we feel it's time for you to begin living for yourself again. But when it feels as if everything's falling around you, we'll always be here. When the outside world is too much to bear by yourself, know that we're always here to share your burden.

"You can't lie to yourself…especially now when you're happiest. There may come a time when regrets are at their highest…don't make this decision be one of them."

My eyes land on sparkling sapphires, her small mouth in a wide, innocent grin and at the light skinned hand on her shoulder, supporting her, always protecting her.

"Reach for the sky mama!"

I feel stings prick at the corner of my eyes and my heart feels so full it's close to bursting. Warm, strong arms encompass me, a husky voice chuckling at me in a sort of reprimand.

I stare at the violin, still haphazardly sitting on the case where I've left it and for the first time in a long time I can really look at it without second thoughts or hesitance. I lock eyes with similar sapphires again and lean fully into my partner's arms, my embrace around her tightening.

"I've contacted Kageuchi-san," Setsuna says, earning my attention. "She's quite excited to hear from you, but I assured her she won't be contacted again until after the holidays, because being with family is most important right now."

I smile widely, letting Haruka's wandering hands rub the moisture from my eyes. I kiss her soft and quickly, whispering a thank you in the small space between us before getting up from my position and hugging my longest friend. The long haired woman just chuckles at my gratitude and pushes me softly to the direction of my daughters, both of them hugging me on each shoulder as I kneel before them.

Every part of me feels complete. More importantly, my family is complete. I can, once again, come home to a picture of all three of them, curled up in the sofa watching a movie, making room for me. Or staying home and cooking a meal with my sous chefs, kicking out two hungry tomboys trying to rob an early meal. I can picture all of us, huddling into the small tent Haruka's made and Setsuna sighing loudly at how much of a bad idea it is while curling up to Hotaru who just laughs it off. And just as my partner's been doing all week, she'll be in the middle, her right shoulder home to Haru's small head, and her left neck my sweet nuzzling spot. I realize that nothing can top this day. Not being in front of a sold out crowded theatre nor all four of them nudging me to take the plunge back towards my career.

Them, being here, with me. As it was before.

My family's back…and I doubt anything can ever top this gift.

O-O-O-O-O

I smile in exasperation at the non-descript box right next to the brightly wrapped one that says from Haruka to Haru. I hear my partner sigh next to me as her chin makes its way to my shoulder, my peripherals catching her looking at the same non-descript box.

"Do you plan on giving Haru-chan two gifts every birthday she has?" I ask jokingly, making her sigh once more.

"It's bad enough that I'm so indecisive. It took me forever to plan her gift, and _finally_ when I get an idea, I realized I had to get another one…" she trails off in exasperation making me laugh.

"Or you can just tell her that it was you the entire time."

She gives an uneasy look. "Somehow that seems anti-climactic…"

"She'll find out sooner or later."

"I like later."

I chuckle and give her a small peck on the cheek before heading back to the kitchen.

"The guests will be coming soon, so accommodate them!" I call, earning a confirming yell back from her.

Setsuna and Hotaru greet me in the kitchen, finishing up a fruit cake Hotaru's baked for the occasion.

"How's Haruka doing?" the time guardian asks me, her eyes glinting in a mix of concern and laughter.

"Better," I answer, pulling the refrigerator door and taking out the marinated meats for the grill. "She's trying to act tough, but I know she's nervous."

I look out of the window to see the first of many guests entering the backyard, Haruka there with an apron over her clothes greeting them.

"Ahh, Shiraishi-san's here."

I see the sliding door to the backyard open widely, my daughter's loud, "Tsuuuuuu!" trailing out of her mouth as she makes a mad dash towards one of her best friends.

Hotaru laughs just from hearing this since her attention's still on the cake. "You'd think they didn't see each other yesterday."

I smile warmly at seeing Haru interact with the other girl, bowing lowly as she receives her gift and then shaking it cautiously after to try to inspect what's inside.

"Ne, Michiru-mama?"

I chuckle at my other daughter's term of endearment and give her a questioning look.

"If Haru does…end up liking women—

"I just hope Tsubasa-chan doesn't break her heart."

I shrug helplessly as they both laugh. I grab some hot dogs and burger patties and begin making my way out of the house, greeting some more guests as I step into the patio. Tsubasa greets me with a bow and I pat her head and Haru's before greeting her mother who has by now gotten up to help me bring the things over to the grill that Haruka's just starting to heat up.

Shiraishi-san makes light conversation with me, asking about the recent rumor of me releasing an album which I answer in confirmation as I enjoy the lovely looking day, the several cherry trees around the backyard in lovely spurts of pure white and pink blossoms. A light wind dances through the air, sending a wonderful flowery fragrance around us and I feel this day could not be more perfect for my little girl to celebrate her birthday in.

Toshi arrives twenty or so minutes later, his father dropping him off with only a bye to spare and an hour into the backyard party, it looks like it's already a success.

Full white clouds cover a brightly shining sun now and then and the children, all from Haru's class, played with their mightiest around the spacious yard. I bite into a hamburger Haruka's passed to me a few minutes back and eye her somewhat hungrily, looking handsome in her apron and laughing at something one of the male parents is saying to her.

"Kaioh-san?"

I turn my attention back to Tsuabasa's mother and smile inquiringly, giving her once more my undivided attention.

"This may be…a weird question," she starts off, apprehension clear in her voice. "But it's been in my mind for a few months now…and what with Tsubasa-chan spending some nights here for sleepovers, I just…really would like to know."

My smile turns knowing and I nod in confirmation even before she asks her obviously burning question. "Yes, Haruka and I are together." I trail off as I look at Tsubasa, Toshi, and Haru playing tag with the rest of the children. "Does it change anything?" I ask and worry coat my voice because of the consequence it may bring to my daughter.

Shiraishi-san merely laughs, shaking her head. "My older brother…has a husband." My eyes widen at her sudden statement as she only nods her head in succession. "He lives in the States and has a nice American doctor for a husband. We visited them, during the holiday."

The pieces of what she says connect in my mind. "Your skiing trip?"

She nods again. "They live in New York."

A smile tugs at my lips.

She bows her head apologetically. "I'm sorry if I came off too strongly. I really did just want to know. But I trust you with my daughter. And with Meioh-san and Hotaru-san here now as well, your home has become livelier. Tsubasa comes home after every weekend spent here wanting to come back and I'm only glad you're able to accommodate her while I'm busy."

I shake her words away and merely smile wider, my peripherals catching my partner coming our way. She sits to my right, hands occupied with a paper plate and a hotdog and eats while appraising the running children, her eyes glued on one particular child. I eye her endearingly, catching a stray dust mote on her hair and brush it back only for my actions to freeze from seeing someone standing at the sliding door just a couple meters from our sitting position.

His brown eyes are kind of wide, darting from Haruka to me, and a couple moments pass before he can come out of his stupor. I stand up from my seat, my partner eyeing me in question before her gaze falls on Daiki as well and gets up almost too quickly.

He gives a small bow to her and then smiles at me, the crinkle in his eyes familiar and kind. "Hey."

I smile back, my hand curling on Haruka's arm. His chocolate eyes stray at us momentarily, until he gives his undivided attention to my partner and bows again.

"Tenoh Haruka," she says, bowing also, and I feel the strain in her body and voice just from the small greet.

"Abe Daiki," he returns, bowing for the third time in the last long minute span since we've gotten up.

Before the tense situation can electrify even more, I call for Haru who has been unaware of the situation. She stops playing, looks at all of us and gets tagged in the process, rolling her eyes and yelling that she's obviously not playing at the moment, before running to us on the porch. She stands awkwardly at my side and a part of me saddens at seeing her so tense towards someone who she's not supposed to be feeling that way to.

"Happy birthday Haru-chan," Daiki greets with a warm smile and hands over a wrapped present.

She takes it, eyes still somewhat trained on the ground and nods.

"Haru…what do you say?" my partner beckons, earning a look from my ex-husband and daughter.

Haru sighs and bows. "Thank you."

Daiki smiles warmly, a hand brushing back short aqua strands. "You're very welcome."

She looks back at me and Haruka before looking at the rest of the children having fun without her. "Can I go now?"

Haruka extends her hands towards her. "Give me your present and I'll put it with the others."

She smiles widely, gives the blonde her present and jolts off again, a loud, "Thanks Haruka!" following her.

My partner and I separate wordlessly and I lead Daiki to the grill where he chooses a hamburger for me to prepare for him. I catch him eyeing Haru and feel a sense of melancholy from the way his chocolate eyes only train on her.

"How are Abe-san, Mika-chan, and Eiko-chan?" I ask, giving him the plate and sitting beside him.

He nods, taking a bite of the burger and making a sound of affirmation as he does so. "They're good. Mika-chan started pre-school this year."

I smile wistfully. "Time flies."

It's silent between us, broken only by shuffles made from his end as our attention drifts back towards our child. The sliding door opens once again revealing my partner and she gives me and Daiki an unfamiliar look before striding to us, long and purposeful, and deposits herself on my right side.

"How's the cake coming along?" I ask and lean my head against her strong shoulder, her lovely scent reaching my nostrils pleasantly at the close contact.

She smiles, placing a cheek against my hair. "Hotaru's tweaking it. Haru-chan's gonna love it."

My lips pull into a smile, my peripherals catching Setsuna as she strides out of the house with a piñata in hand. A specialty shop downtown makes them, given the proper time and picture and I remember giving the shopkeeper a picture of Totoro while Haruka stood beside me with an uneasy look.

"_You really think Haru-chan would want to split Totoro in half?" _

It was a very valid point and after watching the movie again for the sake of a Totoro themed birthday party, we decided on a big black dust bunny for the piñata instead of the grey furry monster.

"Haruka, help me set it up," Setsuna calls, bounding down the patio steps as a crowd of screaming excited kids circle her.

My partner excuses herself again, planting a small kiss on top of my head before joining the older woman, coaxing the kids to remain calm while they set it up on an old, blooming cherry tree.

"You're together."

I'm expecting the delivery of the statement and how fast it comes out of the man next to me.

I nod, eyes straying from a chuckling blonde trying to bat an eager Haru away, towards asking brown eyes.

"We are," I state, my orbs locking seriously with his.

He merely nods, unable to meet my stare far longer than a couple seconds and resume his meal slowly.

"It _is_ partially your business, just so you know."

He looks at me incredulously, my words clearly not what he was expecting.

I only stare at him resolutely. "Haru's your child too Daiki. The decisions I make affect her and therefore affect you too. We may be separated and you may have a family of your own—same as I have a family of my own…but we're forever bonded because of her. Don't think I'd ever keep something like this from you. I never planned to. The world will know in due time that I love Haruka…you're just one of the first to know."

His eyes are wide in surprise by the time I finish, and I smile at the way his mouth has started to hang open.

"You're so different now."

My smile falters a bit at his open declaration, remembering the same woman I was once before that he's gotten to know shortly after Haru's birth. A side of me that reinforces the fact that I am human. I nod in agreement, my eyes falling to the wooden planks underneath us.

"It makes me happy."

And I find myself staring at him incredulity this time.

He only smiles warmly, his gaze falling on his half eaten burger. "I've seen you at your worst Michiru," he says softly. "For a long time I thought maybe it was me, even though you kept assuring me otherwise. The only thing that kept your eyes alive was Haru. I remember the disappointment you know. I remember your eyes fill with rage after the divorce was settled and I didn't even fight for our daughter."

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat at his open declaration, unable to stop him from resuming his thought.

"I know it looked bad…that _I_ looked bad. A man who had a beautiful wife and daughter, impregnating someone else—a perfect looking marriage shattering in a blink of an eye. In the midst of it all I knew I lost you, but your eyes still looked at Haru so differently. As if I was pushed out and Haru took all of you in—

"Daiki, I'm so sorry…"

He shakes his head vehemently, his eyes widening in alarm at seeing the anguish I'm trying to hide. And I can tell from his expression that he didn't mean for the conversation to take this turn.

"No, Michiru—

"Is everything okay?"

I feel Haruka next to me suddenly, her strong hand cradling my neck and fingertips curling into my hair. But her emeralds remain steady and strong towards my ex-husband.

He freezes under her stare. I've always known Daiki to be a non-confrontational man. His kindness and warmth is what led me to him to begin with.

I curl my finger around my partner's, hugging her close as she stands imposingly before us.

"Everything's fine Haruka."

She looks back at me, emeralds darting to the moisture gathering at the edge of my eyes and I feel her breathe deeply to assess and respond to the situation.

"We were just reminiscing," I assure, my hand going up to cup smooth cheeks.

She nods, half in understanding and half to appease me and sits back beside me, her gaze never faltering from Daiki's tense posture.

He bows from his seat again, looking very apologetic. "It was my fault…" he says softly, the screaming of excited children and rooting parents almost drowning his words out. "It's clearly not the right time or place and…I'm sorry."

It's silent between all three of us, broken only by the noise made outside the patio. My back curls into my partner's strong body and she engulfs me in her arms, her posture still stiff, but now with worry about my well-being more than anything.

"Thank you…Tenoh-san."

Her back shoots straight up in surprise at his sudden words of gratitude. He chuckles and nods, as if trying to reassure that she has heard him properly.

"See, I knew Michiru would find herself again someday," he says, trying his hardest to explain. "You would not know how much I prayed and wished for it. And I won't lie and say that I've always felt this way. It's been more of an evolution more than anything. But from the time I knew she'd be okay, til now, I vowed that whoever can change her mind…whoever that can bring back the woman that I saw prior to marrying her…is someone that deserves every bit of her.

"Of course I was expecting a man…"

I can't help but laugh a bit brashly at his words, his chuckle coming out in tandem to mine.

"But I should've known," he said and shrugged. "You would not believe how many times she spoke about you purposefully and most of the time, inadvertently."

This causes a wry smile to appear on my handsome tomboy's face, and I reach up and pinch her cheek earning me a playful scowl. When she looks back at Daiki though, I see a softness in her eyes that wasn't there before and she bows in gratitude from where she's sitting at his honest words to her.

"Papa!"

My daughter's voice rings the air around us, causing both my partner and Daiki to swivel their heads automatically to her direction. She comes running up the porch steps hurriedly, grabbing Haruka to her and begin the impossible task of dragging her towards the group of waiting children.

"It's too strong!" Haru explains mid-tug. "You'll have to open it…plus I want candy! And it's not like I can grab candy while blindfolded _and_ hitting the piñata."

The older tomboy laughs, her mirth showing in her sparkling emeralds. She pulls my daughter to her and carries her to her shoulder, and before she can step towards the waiting party, Haru turns to Daiki as well and smiles.

"You need to come too. We'll need everyone I think…Mama! You too!"

I chuckle and get up from my seat, brushing her wild strands out of her eyes. I help Daiki out of his seat as well and take his empty plate away from him, discarding it in a nearby receptacle. We follow the excited tomboys to the waiting piñata, and my smile can only widen at their enthusiasm as the game of hitting it begins.

"She's really good with her."

I nod, laughing as the kids circle and turn my blindfolded partner around enough to make any normal person dizzy.

"I'm happy to see you so happy Michiru."

He smiles softly at me and I mirror his easily, gratitude splaying in my eyes.

"No matter what happens you're her father and she's your daughter," I say just low enough for the two of us to hear.

He nods, hearing this from me before from previous years.

"Just because Haruka's good with her doesn't mean you shouldn't visit anymore. There'll come a time when she'll grow up and have questions and it's best for her to remember you this way, rather than not remembering you at all."

He sighs loudly, nodding in understanding at my clear words.

We watch in silence as Haruka does a good impersonation of her Space Sword Blaster attack using a plastic bat, and several swings later, the kids are showered with the goodies from the piñata. Hotaru comes out of the house in the middle of this chaos with the cake she's been working on all day, two number one candles shining lightly and a drawn, frosted Totoro standing on his top in the middle of it. A chorus of the birthday song erupt, Haru coming out of the middle with pockets full candy and her eyes erupt in absolute excitement at seeing what Hotaru has made for her. A kiss and thank you later and we find ourselves with a dilemma.

"She's not gonna cut the cake is she?" Haruka asks, suddenly standing beside me with laughter in her eyes.

Just one look at my daughter and I can safely agree. "No, I think she'd rather everyone not eat a piece than cut any part of Totoro out…"

"Mama!" she cries, real sadness in her voice and I make my way through our guests to sit beside her, carrying her into my lap and eyeing the still lit candles.

"First off let's blow the candles and make a wish," I say into my daughter's ear.

She looks at me in alarm. "I wish to not hurt cake Totoro!"

"Baby, if you say it out loud it won't come true."

Her look of panic makes me laugh and I have to hold her in my embrace tighter so this moment doesn't slip away from my grasp too quickly. Emeralds from across the table sparkle at me in love and mirth, chocolate browns warm and kind.

"Does it change anything if I say there's a small, personalized one in the refrigerator that I've also made today?" Hotaru asks, making my daughter's eyes widen in shock.

I laugh at how quickly she blows the candles, the little hesitation marking the moment where she closes her eyes to make a wish, and then grabs a plastic knife from an untouched plate.

"Let's eat cake!"

Everyone cheers and claps, as she remains on my lap, waiting for me to slice the cake in divided portions and for poor Totoro to get cut up enough to distribute to everyone.

"Thanks for the great day mama," she says softly, holding my cheeks in place and kissing me on the lips.

I laugh and hold her tighter, kissing her sun touched hair. "This day wouldn't have been great without you Haru."

She grins, gets off my lap, and takes two small plates of cake, giving one to Haruka first and then to Daiki. She smiles at both of them widely, earning their smiles in return and turn back to me, her eyes lovely and bright. And I know, just by looking at her, that everything's going to be alright. That she knows the power she has over the people around her, but would never do anything to take advantage of it. She merely wants everyone to be happy. And with everything pertaining to her wants, I'll try my best to grant her wish.

AN: I'm still alive? Yeah…:\ I am…How long has it been? Lemme double check my last update...June 6th huh? Woooow…I am so sorry D: Umm…I dunno what else to say except that. This is not the last chapter -.- Expect an epilogue. I promise it'll come out much quicker than the more than a half a year wait like this one. Yes, Chumba Wumba, it'll be an about a five years later epilogue. Why oh why can't I just end this story?

petiyaka: Yes, it'll be even more…longer. I should just change it to say five shot -.-;; Thank you for the review and I hope things have been good to you this past year :D

Meneldur: My gosh I love long reviews…sorry for the sudden gush. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Having Haruka explain uncomfortable things to Haru is fun…it also lets me create ways to get their characters closer together. I hope I managed to make the mending between Setsuna and Haruka good as well…it feels as if they have a much more mature relationship that's harder to work with. I'm glad you liked the scene between Tsubasa and Haru. To be honest it was fun and easy to write. Yes, I do see them as a younger version of H&M, and the epilogue will explain how their relationship is like mainly because I plan on making it in Haru's perspective. Not to say Haruka and Michiru won't be in it, but yeah…maybe I'll make it multiple POVs like this one. The Haruka you have painted in your mind is exactly the one in mine which I think is why I've been so keen (inadvertently) in showing that she may look strong outwardly, but she's anything but inside. I wasn't planning on making the Inners, but then the scene grew in my head and now I'm glad I put it there…the holidays is a time spent with family after all. Thank you for the lovely review and I hope you enjoy this read as well.

TinkaStar: :D I'm glad you like this story and thank you for reading FwB as well.

ReaderMarz: Haha I guess there's yet another chapter to "enjoy". Thanks for the review and comment.

Tripower: Hahaha omg don't tell me to update next year! Look what happens! I've seen your posts in FB about Diablo 3. Will you be playing? :D

Chumba Wumba: Hahaha reading your plights made me laugh. I always tell it to people, and I'm pretty sure I've told you this before…but the story'll be here when you get back! Anyway, thanks for the long review…I enjoy reading every bit of it, probably as much as you enjoy reading what I put out. Playing on perspectives is fun for me as well so I try to make it a guessing game before saying who it is. Haha, yeah a part of my head was thinking you know, Haru's there…sleeping and these two are kinda making out. I thought to myself, maybe I shouldn't have put her there, but there it is. You reading my mind now with all the scenes huh? Haru and Tsubasa…haha…yeah I still have no idea what I'll do there…Hmm…You probably already know, but I'm taking your "suggestions" and running with it. Ten years seems too long, so I'm making it a five year spurt for the epilogue. I meant to write it here with this chapter but then it became super long so…one more chapter until I can safely say that this planned 3 shot is done. Yes, a guilt trip always goes wonderfully with brownies. I hope the summer wasn't unbearably hot…and the winter wasn't unbearably cold…and the present spring refreshingly nice. Wow…I've been gone for a while…

Icha-kun: Future Haru and Tsuaba's waiting in the epilogue…look forward to it! Thank you for patiently waiting and sorry for making you wait for so long. But I hope it was worth it.

itou: Haha my apologies come automatically. I realize I say them more than I should, although I doubt I can apologize enough for how long it took me to take this chapter out. Little Haru was really asleep during Haruka and Michiru's conversation. Before this scene on top where she finds Haruka in her mother's room, she didn't realize they were finally together. I'm glad you like Haru's perspective cuz more is coming, although she will be older, and definitely wiser, and definitely not as bold as she is now.

omnomnom: Another extra chapter coming! Thank you for the review and this has more Haruka perspective for your enjoyment.

SHonLMicK: Thank you for the review :D

SangLune: Sorry the wait for this chapter was pretty long and thank you for reviewing after finding my story :P

MRAZI: You don't have to apologize for not reviewing. I appreciate any time a reader takes for a word or two and no apologies are needed when the time can't or won't be made. Thanks for the comments, I do try hard to make the story flow as best as it can given what the characters are feeling and seeing. Haha what the others are asking for…ending plus epilogue is going to happen. I hope you like this installment as well as the next.

.: :D thanks…I love my amazing Haruka! I have no idea where in my profile says that I like the Haruka/Michiru/Usagi pairing. Can you show me so I can take it off cuz…I don't like any pairing aside from H&M haha. I don't like to share these two…they belong exclusively together.

AlterEgoErin: I'm glad you liked Haru's perspective and no, Tsubasa's response wasn't from being overprotective of their third friend. Guess I'll delve into that in the epilogue. I imagine Haru to be much shorter than Chibiusa, although I can't really pinpoint just how much shorter. She seems like such an adorable small kid in my head. The next chapter will be last! So save being unthrilled for that one haha.

nomask: I like not rushing stories. Sometimes I feel that maybe I even write them too much at a snail's pace. Thanks for finding the slowness of it appealing and please look forward to the epilogue as well.

RubyNury: :D Thank you for your wonderful review. You always find ways to make me blush haha. As far as being a mother, yeah…u know I think my biological clock is ticking. I seem to be writing fics more often these days that have kids in them…I've always wanted kids and I'm glad what I want to become kind of shows when I write about a child having good standing with her parent(s). Yeah I've always seen Michiru as the strict one while Haruka the "cool dad" figure. And thank you for adding the bit about Michiru's character—how you portray and explain her is every bit what I'm thinking her as in regards to her and Haruka's relationship. I wish Haru existed too :( When I first made her I was afraid she would be a two dimensional character…one of those OCs people grew to hate and was just there in the background haha. I'm glad she wormed her way into some of the readers' hearts. Thank you for waiting, I apologize for it being so overdue but please wait for the other one as well :D

Haruka racer: Haha k.

bleh: Just like Haruka racer up top…not even a please? I guess I don't deserve it.

FlorLola: I will finish it! I promise! I'm sorry for breaking your heart…I never meant to make anyone sad.

anonymous: Thanks for the review and I'm sorry this isn't posted soon enough.

anne: Updating now! As soon as ffn gives me the go.

madhatter: :D thanks for taking the time and reading the rest of my stories as well as your review. As for the sequel for Her Protector…:\ it feels like something that may not happen anymore. I'm kinda speechless about your predicament. I can only wish I can be as strong as you are if I were to be put in that situation…it must be hard. Something tells me I'd run like Haruka did…haha. Anyway, thank you for waiting patiently for this and I hope the read was worth it.

rumiteka: Good day to you too! I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever. I will right now! :D


	5. Epilogue: Crystal

Chapter 5: Epilogue/Crystal

Crystal. Cold, seemingly. Protective. Very protective. In gesture? Literally? Figuratively? All of the above?

No…

No longer cold.

Crystal.

Warmth. Ever encompassing. An evolution of sorts, in the middle of a thriving, believing city.

Colors add to the vibrancy—orange, red, blue, and green respectively. And just like the crystal, protective.

Night falls. Too soon. Too unrealistically, and therefore, _unnaturally. _

It blankets over the city—chokes it. Searches for every nook and cranny and those same colors…They're strong enough to push the darkness out aren't they?

Aren't they?

"They have to be…"

"Kaioh-san, please answer the question."

My gaze focuses to my desk, my peripherals catching at a mechanical pencil my hand is inadvertently clutching. I let it go, as if burned, the utensil making a rolling noise as it descends to the tiled floor.

"Positive one."

A familiar voice in a hushed whisper reaches my ears…would make me smile outwardly, but that would just give both of us away.

"Positive one, sensei," I answer and look up to the none-too-pleased Trigonometry teacher.

"Shiraishi-san, unless you want to join Kaioh-san in detention next time, I'd advise you let her answer the question herself. Kaioh-san, pay attention."

He turns his back to the familiar snickers the class makes and begins writing another problem on the board. Heat crawls to my face and after a discreet glance to my right, I see the same has plagued my long time best friend. I sigh and try to make an effort to pay attention this time, but again, my vision is filled with walls, _cities_ made of crystal, that same protective light, and again, without fail, darkness. I don't realize I'm grabbing a fist full of my short aqua hair until the pain comes out agonizingly from strained roots, and I wish, upon unanswered wishes, that my brain would just shut up.

O-O

"What the hell's been wrong with you?"

Tact has never been Toshi's strong point, so I answer just as I've been through all the years.

A blank look up, and cocked eyebrow later and he sighs loudly, his face showing how unimpressed he must be feeling. His brown eyes roll heavenward and he grunts resignedly, not taking a seat as he normally would. He sees the question in my eyes and heads toward the roof door.

"Gonna have lunch with Aika-chan…see you guys in class."

"What was the point in coming up to the rooftop then?" I call, somewhat annoyed, but mostly relieved.

"Well I was hoping you two would stop me, but seeing as you'd rather play Romeo and Juliet, I'll leave you two at it."

He stuck his tongue out at us and smirked before twisting the doorknob and disappearing out of sight.

I process his words, and give a slightly confused, but smiling Tsubasa a look of askance. "Has he even _read_ Romeo and Juliet?"

She laughs, untying her bento while shaking her hair, midnight tresses dancing merrily into the spring air. Her familiar smell dances around us at the action, and I feel myself breathing deeper in tandem.

"Maybe not the same one we've read?"

I shrug, opening my bento box as well. "I dunno…based on his look, I think he kinda wants us dead when he comes back…Schools are weapon-free zones so it'd be impossible to find a knife for you."

"Filch it from the kitchens," she offers.

"And the vial of poison?" I ask, not missing a beat and now clicking a pair of chopsticks with my fingers.

"I'm sure the janitor's closet would have something unswallowable…Add whatever concoction that is to a beaker and you have _your_ method of death." She laughs softly at the ridiculous thought, the sound merry and familiar. "Although something tells me getting stabbed with a knife is more favorable than swallowing…bleach…"

Her words tickle my imagination and I laugh as well at the prospect of our dreary conversation. I shrug, my smirk not disappearing from where it came. "That's alright…who said I could be Romeo anyway?"

The words come out just a little too emotional than I wanted and I berate myself inwardly for it. I lean back with a sigh, the fence behind me making a clinking sound that resonates through the otherwise empty rooftop as my back collides with it rather roughly. I ignore the minimal amount of pain it brings to the middle of my back and my eyes ascend to the sky, my vision clouding again to crystal.

The picture jars, breaks as a hand moves about my hair. I see blue sky again and I realize I'm not breathing so I do so, and it seems forced and abrupt but I no longer care because the fingers against my scalp feel nice, comforting. I lock with light blue eyes and I know she sees the conflict in my face because I see her beautiful one marred in a frown. I want to apologize suddenly, but it's not in my nature, so instead I smile.

Lunch forgotten, she kneels in front of me, the same worried frown never leaving and her soft hands making their way towards my cheeks, cupping them, keeping them locked so my vision and attention wouldn't stray.

"What _has_ been wrong with you?"

She says it a bit more gently than Toshi, but the urgency and worry are laced there and really, how can I explain it without her thinking I should go to a freakin' shrink?

I shake my head, my sight lowering to her neck. "Just…a lot's on my mind."

Not exactly a lie.

Silence surrounds us briefly and I feel her hands retract, a soft sigh emitting from her retreating form. I swallow roughly, knowing I've just pushed one of the people away that I would never have given any other situation. But it's not as if having strange visions is normal. We begin our lunch in silence. Stays that way during the remainder of the lunch period and I feel myself become just a bit more depressed at how my best friend seems to be slinking further away.

O-O

"Hey kiddo."

I smile at the endearment and step out of the threshold of the garage, the clanging of metal pounding on metal real so therefore nice in my ears.

"How's school?" my papa asks as I squat near her, my eyes training on the engine of my motocross bike she's been pounding away at.

I shrug. "Fine I guess."

Emeralds gaze at me, and I wonder if she, mama and my many aunts have stumbled upon the fountain of youth because year after year, it's as if they haven't aged at all. She locks eyes with me for a bit, scrutiny written on her features before she nods and diverts her attention back to my bike.

"Can we head to Chiba for a practice run?"

"We'll be leaving for there tomorrow night. We'll meet Yamada-san at the garage, he'll drive the truck with the bikes and we'll follow. You'll have the entire weekend doing practice runs."

I grin and she mirrors my sentiment. "Do practice runs with me!"

"We'll see," she simply says but the gleam in her eyes makes me excited anyway. "Depends on if the rest of your teammates join us before Sunday."

"You know, as the team manager _you_ can _make_ them come earlier."

She laughs, rubbing my hair affectionately with a dirty hand. "But then I won't be able to do practice runs with you."

I chuckle at her words, my arms coming around from behind her and my face brushing on sandy locks. She smells sharp and protective and does protective really have a smell? It must, because that's what I smell right now and for some reason, I can only really feel it when Haruka's around. I suddenly wish she can protect me from my assailing visions, and for the nth time this month, I want to tell her all about it.

"Can we go fishing?"

She's used to my random requests by now and she rebuffs just as quickly, "Do you have homework?"

My grip around her neck strengthens as she stands up and she carries me piggy back style out of the garage and to the kitchen.

"Yes," I answer shortly.

"Would you be able to finish them in time if we were to come back late tonight?"

"No."

She sighs and slaps my right leg she's holding up playfully. "Then, no."

"But papa…"

"No buts. Your mama would kill me."

Mama…

I sigh and I know it's loud enough to catch her attention. She deposits me into the barstool, washes her hand and makes her way to the fridge, taking out a fruit tray and placing it in between us before sitting down herself.

Her eyes hold understanding and a twinkle of mischief as she grabs a pineapple chunk and I do the same.

"Aren't you supposed to be having bouts of rebellion?" she asks funnily, taking a big bite of fruit. She chews for a moment before continuing, "I've been getting ready all these years for it, but you still prefer getting piggy back rides around the house and you don't lock yourself in your room pumping out crazy music you kids are into these days."

I laugh at her declaration and roll my eyes, the fruit tart and sweet as it bounces in my mouth. "Rebellion's only for emo-children who didn't grow up properly. Toshi's on his way, but with how his dad is with him, I'm not surprised…"

I was thinking my words would elicit another laugh from her, but I see it change to a warm one.

"I'm glad Michiru and I did something right then."

I smile, my heart feeling warm and content. "Do you think Mama will make it to my race this Sunday?"

"I'm sure she'll try her hardest to."

My gaze drifts to the granite countertop, eyeing a particular black dot for no reason. "I miss her."

"I miss her too."

I lock back with emeralds and we smile at one another, our expressions mirroring a different type of loneliness.

"What say you bring your homework down, I'll help you finish it and when you get done we go fishing? If we leave late enough, Hotaru-chan'll probably join us."

I grin in anticipation, grab a strawberry this time and pop it in my mouth, running to the staircase and going up two at a time.

The rest of the afternoon is spent lazily in the living room, my papa grunting beside me at a Modern Japanese essay she's trying to help me finish and Hotaru nee-san on my right, scientific calculator in hand and teaching me how to solve problems for limits. Setsuna ba-san comes home in the middle of this and joins us in the living area, our favorite Chinese take-out making its way to the side of the sofa somewhat forgotten as Haruka beckons her over and asks rather sheepishly what kanji a character is.

My heart feels warm and loved and I look up to the door and wish it would open for one more member to join us, but she's presently in Italy making sure her last concert of the tour makes the big bang her fans expect of it so my hope becomes wishful thinking.

When she comes back…I'll round her and papa and tell them everything. They'll understand. They'll sit me down and hear everything I have to say and they'll have an answer to it. If they think I need to see someone, then I will. If they feel I need to start taking medications like some of my more colorful classmates…I'll fight back a bit but if they really think I need it, I will. More than anything, I want her to embrace me and kiss my forehead, and lock me in her arms and tell me that she'll protect me from it. She can chase the bad dreams away.

I can't wait for my mama to come back home.

O-O

"You two go on ahead. I have something to do real quick."

Toshi and I share a quick, confused glance as Tsubasa gets up from her seat and with her bento box in hand begins her way out of the classroom.

"Where's she off to?" he asks and grabs his lunchbox from inside his desk as well.

I think back to the boring day that was morning classes and berate myself for not seeing how distracted my best friend was. I guess it couldn't be helped, what with my thoughts grinding out more crystals and colorful energy beams within darkness, but now…now I'm curious.

Toshi eyes me, his smirk coming up hard and fast.

"Let's follow her," I voice his thoughts, grab my bento box and run out of the class, my other best friend hot on my heels.

We spot her just as she's heading to the courtyard, her fingers clamping daintily on the pink handkerchief surrounding her lunchbox and her hair and skirt flowing with the direction of the wind. I swallow back roughly as I see a rare show of alabaster skin.

"Does Tsubasa know how hot she is?"

I elbow whatever's closest to me that Toshi has and land it perfectly on his stomach. He gives a small oof and before he can retaliate I'm off to following our distracted friend again. We pass the courtyard where more students are enjoying the nice spring day and head to the side of the school, jumping down into a blossoming hydrangea bush and clamping each other's mouths quietly.

Five feet away is Tsubasa and another male classmate.

Toshi and I sit there quietly, our hands retracting from the other's mouth and I stare at the wall of the school quietly, my ears perked and listening to the stillness surrounding this sudden meeting.

"You got my note?"

_Who is he?_ My mind juggles through people from my class and come up empty handed. It's not as if I paid much attention to anyone else outside my homeroom so he must not be from there.

"Yes, I did."

Tsubasa sounds nervous and I clutch at a nearby weed and pull it out from its roots without thinking.

It's so quiet that I hear him swallow nervously. "What do you think?"

"Holy shit it's a confession!"

Toshi's rough whisper rings in my ear and I have to slap my palm into his mouth again to keep it shut. Why does every sentence that comes out of his mouth turn expletive these days?

"I'm sorry, but it's too soon," I hear Tsubasa say softly. I can imagine an apologetic smile on her pretty visage and I tell her mentally that he's not worth giving that to. "Give me a week or so to think about it and I'll reply you honestly and sincerely. Right now, I can't provide an answer."

I hear a sigh of maybe relief from the other party member and I want to punch the smile I can imagine there.

"Great…Let me know."

"I will."

They stand there quietly for a moment before noises are made, two meeting bodies separating from where they came from back into the school.

_Why did she raise his hopes up like that? Why didn't she just reject him?_

"Haru we gotta head back," Toshi says next to me, pulling me out of my thoughts literally as he grabs my arm and starts running back into the school.

I race after him, my mind still in turmoil and I almost wished I can do one of two things. One, talk to Tsubasa about it and ridicule the idea to her. And two, that I never was curious enough to find out in the first place.

When we reach the roof, our friend is already there, unfolding her lunchbox with a suspicious look in her face as she sees our tired, and probably guilty, faces.

"Where have you two been?" she asks as we slump beside her, my back into the chain linked fence once again and Toshi sitting in front of us making a triangle.

"I forgot my chopsticks back at home so we went to the cafeteria to get some," Toshi says evenly, and I'm a bit surprised and envious that he can lie so straightforwardly.

I eye our female best friend and note that while she doesn't believe him, she'll take what he gave her. We start lunch, silence and the battle raging in my head making the food taste like ash in my mouth.

"Were you two able to finish the rough draft essay for Modern Japanese?" Tsubasa asks after minutes of never ending silence passed, trailing the question off as Toshi gives a tired and ridiculous sounding sigh.

"Just tell him 'no' and get it over with."

Her light blue eyes narrow in icicles. "Tell who what now?"

Her words are cold and testy, but Toshi merely pushes his food aside and looks straight into her face.

"Tell whoever that guy who confessed to you 'no' and just get it the hell over with."

She grunts and places her chopsticks down on her lunchbox with controlled anger. I can see her telling herself to be patient, but that will dwindle. It will definitely dwindle.

"And who are you to decide on what I feel on the matter?"

Toshi mock laughs and leans into his hands, the cement digging into his palms. "Oh, please. You don't even know him. Tell me, what's his name?"

"Naruse Takumi."

"And how do you know him?"

"We're in flower arrangements club together."

"You know, for someone who's been in a club with you for a good month and a half, you don't seem to hang out at any other time."

"And so?"

"And guys are allowed in flower arrangement club? That sounds so…_gay_."

I'm secretly rooting on Toshi. Because he's saying everything I want to say. I want to bash on this…Naruse and show him he's not welcome into this trio we've built since the start of our friendship. He's not allowed to steal Tsubasa and leave me and Toshi alone to ponder and bicker about everything.

He's not allowed to steal Tsubasa…period.

"That does sound gay."

My input broke the camel's back. Tsubasa whirls her attention to me, light blue eyes incredulous for a moment and then angry. I can see Toshi smirking in my peripherals, but it's dwarfed amidst the look my female best friend is knifing at my direction.

I match her stare, my nonplussed one almost withering at the look of contempt at her end. She cuts off our staring contest abruptly, leans down into her lunchbox and starts putting away the half eaten food quickly. We watch in silence as she knots the handkerchief roughly and gets up, pulling the bento with her.

"I'm glad both of you have matured so nicely over the years," she seethes and leaves, her heavy footsteps echoing in my ears along with the shutting of the rooftop door.

I shove my lunchbox away as well, sighing and making room for Toshi as he deposits himself next to me. We sit, shoulder to shoulder, our eyes glued at the same gray door.

"There will come a time when our input no longer matters. You do know that right?"

I swallow the accumulating spit in my mouth and drown the disgusting feeling nestling there with water.

"When're you gonna make your move Haru?"

"She doesn't like me like that."

"Bullshit."

"Will you stop swearing? I know it does a good job accentuating how you feel into words, but some other words work just as well."

His eyes roll, but he doesn't continue through that train of thought.

"You remember when I confessed to her?"

_How can I forget? I wanted to punch your face off. _I merely nod.

"She didn't give _me_ a week. She just said, 'No you're my best friend and that's all I've ever felt. Sorry,'" he mimics her voice, definitely comes up too short and brushes his bangs out of his eyes.

"I thought you were over that."

He mutters, "Course I am. We're still best friends aren't we? But really Haru, when're you gonna get up and just…confess to her?"

"She'll probably say the same thing she said to you to me. Already knowing that, why should I even bother?"

"For closure."

"…Hell no."

"See there? You wanted to say fuck no right? Cuz seriously, the words 'hell no' just aren't enough—

"Toshi…"

"Fine, fine. But let's say she goes out with the gaywad—

"You realize saying this to someone whose parents are technically—

"Your parents are amazing. Now shut up and let me finish. Say she goes out with Mr. Flower Power. Say they go on one date and she actually takes a _liking_ to him. Say…he starts joining us for lunches and puts his arm around her and she _giggles_ at his actions. Say they start smooching right here, righ—

"Fine! I'll confess! If it breaks up my friendship with her I'm going to punch you in the face!"

My eyes meet up with laughter filled browns, his hand coming up to brush my errant strands even wilder. He looks up to the sky, his eyes wistful. "I dunno Haru-chan. She's always liked you better out of the two of us. Maybe she'll surprise you."

"She does _not_ play favoritisms," I argue, but inside I feel elation from hearing it from him.

He waves my words away easily. "You should see how panicky she always is whenever you race. Her eyes are _glued _to you."

My ego feels enormous. I retort, half harassed, "Yours aren't?"

"There are better looking girls to look at in the stands."

He laughs as I punch him in the shoulder, his eyes meeting mine again.

"Did you know I used to have a crush on you when we were small?"

Heat rises up to my cheeks at the sudden declaration and I again shove his shoulder. "Shut up."

"No, really!" he fights, his eyes twinkling in mirth. "You were so cute…and then you cut your hair and…that was it."

"Good cuz if you still liked me even after that, _you_ would be gay."

"We'd be one gay group."

I laugh. "Mr. Flower Power could join us then?"

"Even after that…I say, fuck no."

He smiles at me, teeth bared, and I laugh while shaking my head, wondering where my innocent male best friend went.

O-O

The scratching of pencil upon paper is the only sound that passes between us. A shuffle here and there—the turn of a notebook page. I sigh as I feel it and my comfort level drag on. The weather outside is nice and my favorite time spent with my best friend is, for today anyway, something that I'm not enjoying. It's not as if homework's any fun, but usually she'd sit beside me, our arms brushing now and then. She'd lean over, inquire a certain problem and I would try to tell her how I know it, and almost always fail to give the right answer. She'd smile, warmly, exasperatingly, take my pencil in her hand and with our personal bubbles gone and her smiling face just mere inches from my smiling face, she'd show me how to solve the problem.

Today, she's a few feet away, working on her math problem at the edge of my desk; keeping her distance and silence ever since lunch period.

_Does she want me to grovel? _

I eye her from my peripherals, her midnight blue tresses hanging like a curtain behind her and as I lean back and make it obvious that I'm now blatantly staring at her, icy blue ones match mine. Her eyebrow cocks up in question.

The war of silence continues.

A knock issues from my door and her attention diverts to it while I swivel my computer chair to that direction. Haruka-papa is at the doorway, a tray full of sweets and tea in hand.

"Let me get that for you Tenoh-san," Tsubasa says nicely and means to get up, but she shakes her head and walks to our direction.

"That's alright Tsubasa-chan," she replies and places the tray at a nearby table, bringing two strawberry shortcakes and two cups of tea to us. "Haru-chan, I'll be going over to Yamada-san to help put the bikes in place. Get ready so by the time I get back we can start heading out 'kay?"

I nod, spearing a frosted strawberry with an eager fork and popping it in my mouth. She brushes through my hair and smiles at my best friend.

"Hotaru-chan's wondering if you'd like to get picked up on Sunday for the race Tsubasa-chan?"

She looks up from eating her cake. "I probably will not attend Tenoh-san, so please tell Hotaru-san thank you anyway."

I choke on my tea, gasping for air as my lungs burn. Strong hands pat my back and I see my papa giving me and my friend a worried look before nodding in understanding.

"If you change your mind, let me know."

My friend merely smiles. "Thank you, but I doubt it."

It's silent as I pick up a napkin and clean my mouth roughly with it. One more rub in the back from my papa and she's gone, leaving the two of us alone again.

I'm done giving time silences.

"What do you mean you won't be at the race on Sunday?"

I whip my attention to her, but she keeps her eyes darted to her tea, cake, or homework.

"Just as I said, I'll be busy."

"Doing what?"

"Things you could care less about."

"As far as I know, you and your family didn't have plans for this Sunday. I asked you, a month in advance. Something's changed all of the sudden that you do have plans or are you just pissing me off?"

Her eyes connect with mine, flashing dangerously. I stand my ground.

"My _life_ doesn't revolve around your races Haru. I don't _have_ to be busy. I just am."

"You're all of the sudden busy. Great. Thanks for the advance notice then."

"You're welcome. And since you and Toshi are playing my keepers, you can tell him that I took the opposite end of his sage advice and said, 'Yes'."

My jaw clamps, teeth grinding upon another. I wonder suddenly if she can see my heart burning into a fiery pit and crashing at the bottom of my stomach, because that's what it feels like. I run out of rebuttals. The cake, like my lunch earlier, tastes like ash. And I want her to leave me alone so I can brood.

I put all my effort into unlocking our death stare, grip my pencil into my hand and start my homework again.

The war of silence begins again, ends when Hotaru nee-san comes home to take Tsubasa home. She says a soft, "Good night", but I don't look up. I merely nod and give my homework more attention until all noise dissipates and I'm left all alone.

O-O

The waves crash back and forth in the evening sky, the glow of the stars more prominent here in Chiba than in the city. Noise erupts behind me, made by my teammates, but as I've been doing all weekend long, I ignore most of it. The race is tomorrow and our team's rented out some rooms in an inn to spend the weekend in. Most people arrived today. Haruka-papa, Yamada-san, a few teammates and I have been here since Friday. Barbecue's invited by gorgeous weather so after practice, everyone headed to the beach.

Sun had set ages ago, and my butt feels numb from sitting in one spot in the sand for a couple hours now, but I don't care. My whole body's feeling numb anyway, so what does it matter? My ears perk at the sound of footsteps behind me and a body sits beside me unceremoniously in the sand.

"I think a couple hours of brooding is enough for you, ne?"

I sigh loudly, drowned by the waves crashing into shore and lean into my papa's body, her arms coming around my shoulder in a tight half hug.

"I haven't bothered you about it all weekend, but I know you need someone to talk to," she continues, her voice husky, soft, and comforting. Her fingers find themselves in my hair, tousling it and helping the wind make them even more scrupulous. "It's about Tsubasa-chan, that's for sure."

"Nh," I sound out and give a small nod.

"Cuz she's not coming tomorrow?"

I nod again, my heart burning at the thought of my best friend not attending. Even more than that though is the thought of her not spending afternoons with me anymore in favor of Flower Power.

"What happened?"

I delve myself deeper in her embrace, her strong arms holding me tighter in tandem. I tell her all about my adolescent woes. About Flower Power and Tsubasa's answer to him and our homework afternoon filled with silence. About her being too busy to attend my race and how I don't really feel like racing now because of it.

She listens to me patiently without interruption, rubbing my arm and back at times, and tousling my hair at others. When there's nothing else between us but the crash of waves, she places her cheek atop my hair and says shortly, "Talk to her."

I sigh, inadvertently breathing in my papa's familiar, musky scent. It makes me feel protected and loved, and I don't care if my teammates are seeing a rare scene of me acting the gender I was given as I put my arms around her tightly, and nod.

"Kay."

She smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Papa?"

"Yes?"

"I can't wait 'til tomorrow."

"What happens tomorrow?"

"Mama'll be home."

She chuckles and nods. "I can't wait 'til tomorrow too."

O-O

Noise erupts from the stands as engines turn on. Five more minutes and the race is to start. I look to my right and swallow the disappointment down, sighing loudly just so I can hear myself amidst the torrent of noise. The usual spot where I can almost always find mama, Suna ba-san, Hotaru nee-san and Tsubasa is empty save for Toshi whose attention looks diverted. I put my goggles over my eyes, patting the back of my helmet to double check its security before turning on the engine to my bike as well. I rev up the engine, testing it, making sure it feels right in my hands. I see Haruka-papa coming out, talking to two other teammates with me on this race, but looking up at me from time to time.

I double check my gear, pull my boots up nice and tightly over my colorful apparel and punch my chest protector a couple times just to reassert that everything's in working condition. Satisfied with what has to be my tenth time checking my gear since I've woken up, I swallow the nervousness clutched in my throat tightly and look up at a nearly cloudless sky.

The color…reminds me of crystal.

I blink back, my attention brought back by a warm, strong hand wrapped over my shoulder.

"You alright?"

I nod automatically at my papa, her eyes sparkling in worry.

"Just daydreaming," I say, but it only makes sense to me because the helmet and noise makes it hard for her to understand.

She smirks, as if she does, and gives me another pat in the shoulder. "Show 'em what you can do."

I mirror her smile and give a stiff thumb's up. And just as quickly as she came, she's gone again, but I still feel her protective eyes locked onto me.

I rev the engine once more, the sound and a brief darkness in my vision coming up in tandem. I shake it away, annoyed more than ever at its inconvenient timing and rev the engine just a bit louder. My eyes train on the man in the pit a little less than 50 meters away, the 30 second board in his hands still up vertically. I suddenly have a bad feeling. As if I shouldn't be up here. I look to my right again, the stands as empty as they were when I first looked and my throat starts closing up. It feels akin to nervousness, but I know that's not it.

I see my hands shaking from my gloves and try to grip the handlebars tighter, but to no avail to the growing unease in the pit of my stomach. My heart sounds fast and erratic against my helmet, but more than that is the blurring of my vision.

Crystal…ice cold—

I shake my head again and before I know it my breaths are as fast and as erratic as my heartbeat. I'm gonna black out. I know it. I just know it.

I take a short glance to my left—at a random _male_ participant _sneering_ at my direction.

God don't let me black out…

I rev the engine again, the man at the bottom of the pit holding the thirty second board now horizontally.

Less than fifteen seconds…

"Please don't let me black out."

I don't realize I'm saying it out loud as I eye him moving out of the way. The noise around me escalates until the metallic grates in front of the bikes come down and I leave behind the worry, even though the niggling feeling is still forefront in my mind.

Just eight laps. That's all. Nothing I haven't done before. Just eight laps.

My inattentiveness leads to a late start, but not bad considering I'm only a split second later than the next guy. Four bikes are ahead of me out of twenty, but as before I'm here to win and so I trudge through the turns, the dips, the hills, faster and stronger to allow me every second I need. The last couple days of practicing in this area was helpful; it allowed me to think ahead of time if tactics are needed such as now. Papa and I have also been racing through different terrain allowing me to change how I'm steering and changing how I drive to suit the condition.

Five laps later and I'm vying for first place, number twelve in front of me by one bike length and the distance between us getting smaller by the second. It's also here that the darkness begins creeping from my peripherals.

It's a strange sensation…blacking out. I've never fainted in my life, but I know it's supposed to be instantaneous, not this slow, inevitable build. For some reason the unnaturalness of it scares me all the more. We go through a double jump, number twelve still in front of me as we head into an enormous turn followed by another jump.

Two more laps.

I stop trying to blink. Every time I do, my vision swims in light blue. The only thing I have left now is concentration. I know if I am to lose that it'll be over, and not just in a black out way. I shiver, thinking about how it would feel to have nineteen bikes going over my body.

I shake my head, trying to dispel the thought.

_If I do black out I should drive out of the track purposefully. _

I keep that in mind as we head into the last lap, the distance between me and number twelve almost the same.

Side by side with the feel of the overworked machine thrumming all over my body, the darkness is now so palpable it's hard not to notice. In my peripherals I can make out the crystal city—beautiful in its own right, but also cold. So…cold. And asleep.

I haven't noticed that before. A silence. A whole city, in a dreamless, sleep filled silence.

We're heading into the double jump, number twelve shooting me glances every now and then, measuring, measuring. One more big turn after these and another jump and it'll be over. I can close my eyes and my head can do what it's been trying to do since the beginning of the race.

We push through the wide turn, the machine under me protesting loudly in the wake of more dirt and my eagerness to finish as quickly as possible. Already my vision has become dim and I'm worried about not being at the edge-most part of the track where I can veer the bike so it can toss me somewhere I wouldn't harm anyone else, but myself. The straightaway is coming, and in less than ten seconds the last jump.

My vision swims, breaths coming out impossibly slow, almost as if I'm heading into a dreamlike state. I grip the handlebars to the bike as hard as I can even though I can no longer see it.

"_If you ever get into an accident, and you know you can do something about it, I want you to relax. Relax as best as you can."_

Papa…

I feel myself fly in the air, my ears still picking up the raucous sound of a motocross engine. There is also cheering. Loud, but getting weaker like everything else. A second later and I feel my bike meet the dirt floor.

And then…it's all gone.

O-O

I'm walking along the banks of a river. All around me is brightness unattainable by any natural means. The pavement I currently walk on is icy, but not slippery; looks cold, but upon touch I find it may even be warm. The sky is a cloudless blue, but all around is ice. The trees, the grass, the _water_…encased in an unnatural ice. I'm at awe at my scenery for a moment, but I get tired too quickly at the crystalline trees and the leaves that seem to stop in midair, not floating upon closer inspection, but threaded there by icicles.

I look to my left and discern a hill. Something tells me to surpass it so I do, the crunching of the glasslike grass breaking beneath my weight palpable in the silence that's greeted me since I arrived.

Puffs of air emit from my tired breaths and as I reach the final step of the hill what greets my eyes is…is…

I swallow hard.

It couldn't be a dream. It feels much too real. I'd pinch myself, but I did it earlier when I first woke up along the river bank.

A sudden thought occurs to me: this is not reality…_yet._

A feeling in the back of my mind tells me this is Tokyo. But it's not the Tokyo I've grown in. There is no metropolitan, no skyscrapers reaching towards the sky, no Tokyo Tower that lights up at night in rainbow colors. Where there should be cars upon cars, people walking against and with people is only crystal. The surrounding buildings are alike in this color—translucent, almost glasslike, sprawling across the great city and dwarfed in comparison to the epicenter.

And what an epicenter.

From this small hill I see juts of large, strong crystallized buildings standing, the tallest in the center and others like it sprayed in different directions. Large fountains sparkle every which way and the light provided by the sunshine bounces from building to building, crystal to protruding crystal making the whole scenery sparkle right before my eyes.

It looks so beautiful and…tragic.

Where's the noise? Where are the people? Where's the hustle and bustle of everyday life?

Where's _everyone_?

I begin walking again, my destination being the nearest household. When it feels as if I've been walking too long I break into a run, noticing that although the action should be winding my overexerted body, it's not and once again I wonder if I'm dreaming. Eternity flashes into a second, at least that's how it feels, and I'm in front of a glasslike house. The walls are covered in the same crystal fashioned after the entire city and I climb over the gate without greeting, assuming if someone were to stop me they'll do so and that would be a welcome surprise.

The small bird bath is frozen in time like everything else and I'm brave enough to actually go to the door and turn the knob. It doesn't budge. It's stiff and cold and feels…unused for so long. It doesn't even emit a rattle. Frozen…like everything else. I bang on the door, hoping against hope that someone would pry it open for me from the other side, but to no avail. I decide after a minute that a perimeter check is needed. Maybe I'll get lucky and find an open window. I start checking the side of the two story house checking on any open blinds and then—

"…the outskirts are peaceful. No signs of activity."

"We'll patrol all the way to the riverbank just to double check."

I'm so excited tojust _hear_ someone—anyone that I don't register how familiar the voices are. Instead, my legs break into another run through the side of the house and over the gated fence. My feet thud against the ground roughly as I balance myself from the jump, my head and attention swiveling to two women walking.

_What the hell are they wearing?_ Is the first thought that drifts into my mind, but I'm more relieved than anything because here were _people_. They're breathing and _talking_ and…I'm just glad everything's not dead as I first thought this whole place was. But then I get over the colorful sailor fuku. At the ridiculous amounts of bows and the super short skirts and actually _see_ their faces, and a familiarity resonates so deeply within myself that I find my legs give out and I'm suddenly kneeling on the ground.

I'm so sure I've never seen them before. Who could forget such a colorful…costume? But my heart is saying...yelling…that I do. And far more so than a passing face. I _know_ these people. I stand up again. I suddenly want to give a good impression and kneeling on the ground won't give it. Swallowing the over accumulating water in my mouth and hearing the rising drumming beat against my ears I stand my ground and wait for them.

One is tall, sandy, messy blond hair cropped over a strong profile. Intense teal eyes shine under furrowed brows and without even seeing it, I know that she's fast. Fast and powerful, in a brute strength fashion. The one next to her is shorter, slender. Aqua hair (_so familiar_) frames a beautiful face and sapphires twinkle with depth and knowledge. They're walking towards me, ever so slow, and I wonder…why they haven't noticed me yet. I notice their attentions are divided to their surroundings, but they've also looked ahead…exactly where I stand, and it's as if they're looking right through me.

I decide to test my voice. "Hello?!"

They're only fifteen feet away now yet…nothing. I try again, louder, my voice sounding desperate in my ears, but I stop caring. It sounds as if my yells are echoing across the silent neighborhood around us and yet, these two people now ten feet away hear absolutely nothing. My fists curl at my side and without thinking I rush forward. I don't care if I bump into either of them. I want their attention. I want explanations. I want…

My body goes through them and a panic so indiscernible goes through my system as I fall forward and they walk on, completely undisturbed. I feel myself hyperventilating, the words, _I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead_ reverberating in my head. I think back to the motocross race and come to the conclusion that…I must've died then, right? How else would anyone explain this? Is this heaven? That would…explain the nice buildings, but…everything feels dead.

"Oh God I went to the other place…"

I gulp in large breaths of air and suddenly a gust overtakes me and I…smell it. The two…women ahead of me are now over twenty feet ahead, but…

I stop panicking, center myself and breathe in again.

Sharp. Protective.

Does anyone smell like this?

Realization hits me so hard it's difficult to breathe again, but I get back on my feet and run. I pass the two women and stop as soon as I'm five feet in front of them, turn myself around and begin walking backwards my eyes darting to and fro. Unruly sandy blondes, protective emeralds—strong, calloused, yet warm hands, one gripping a wrench, while the other points at different parts of my bike, explanations and advice coming out in a resonating husky voice that I've felt like I've known and heard since the day I was born.

"Papa…"

And beside her…

There are tears in my eyes…and I'm not sure why. Of course it may be because I haven't actually seen my mama in over five months and I miss her dearly and now that I _know_ that she's the woman standing in front of me, I can't even touch her, but–

I stop that train of thought, swipe the accumulating tears with my sleeves and look them over again.

They look so different…yet so the same. I have so many questions it's hard to even file them in my mind. What's with the crazy costumes? What's with the dead land? What's with this…silence?

In the end I stop my thoughts from taking over my emotions and just follow them. I walk right next to Mama, looking over her and Papa every now and then to make sure my mind isn't giving me crazy visions because let's face it, this wouldn't be the first time, but they maintain in my sight, their voices and conversation only shared between them. We walk for quite a distance until we're standing on the hill that I climbed earlier. I look between the two of them before I look once again at the scenery before me—at the riverbank I awoke to and the many trees with not quite fallen leaves.

"Let's head back and report," Papa says softly, turning to Mama and catching her hand in hers.

Mama keeps her attention to a mirror in her hand I haven't noticed before, before looking up at the same scene in front of us and nods. Her face, passive only a few minutes ago looks torn and my gut wrenches because I've never seen her wear that expression before, in private and least of all in front of me.

"Neptune?" Papa calls and breaks what little distance is between them. She's met with silence and I see her swallow roughly before calling softly, "Michiru."

"How long?"

Her voice comes out soft and inquiring, but most of all, sad with a definite desperate tone.

Papa shakes her head. "I don't know." Her strong arms wrap around to the base of Mama's back, touching their foreheads together and I see the same sadness in both their eyes as they stare at each other.

Mama breaks it momentarily, curling her head into Haruka-papa's neck and clutching at the dark blue fuku. A sardonic smile mars her still young and beautiful face as she whispers, "Eight hundred and fifteen. It feels like we're…atoning for sins we haven't accrued."

Papa only responds by holding her tighter.

"It'll be her birthday in four days," Mama continues, her voice still whisperingly soft. "She would be…Eight hundred and fifty nine years old…and yet—

She's stopped with a frenzied kiss and I walk away because even though they don't feel I'm there, it still feels like I'm breaking their privacy. I sit as far away as what I feel is private and even though my head is jumbled and in messy pieces I try to put myself back together for the sake of seeing a bigger picture. It's another couple of minutes before I look back to my mama and papa and see that they're heading back, remnants of tears from sparkling sapphires making the depression burning in my heart feel heavier. I get up from the crystal like grass and follow them, giving them ample room ahead of me.

For the majority of the walk back (to where I'm not quite sure) Mama's body is snuggled tightly beside Papa's and they look peaceful…like two couples taking a leisure walk. And then, they break apart and continue on, backs becoming straighter, strides becoming more purposeful, and I see their different personas begin shining through. They're still Papa and Mama but…colder. Like the rest of this place.

I sigh and look ahead. Of course we're heading to the epicenter. A deep part of me knew I would be coming here today, but more than anything I want the conversation my parents had earlier solved. Because if I do go back—if I see my mama again…I'd make sure she'd never feel this way if this is to come true. I'd never want her to cry desperately. I don't want to see that again. Because I know deep inside, I'm the root cause of it. It's not my arrogance speaking. Just…instinct.

We walk pass huge double doors, the light blue motif of crystal everywhere and I'm sure I'm already so sick of looking at it. I can feel its crystallized beauty tainted with despair and this epicenter a prison more than anything. I don't pay attention to the Grecian columns and arcs making up the beautiful building. My stare just stays straight ahead, sometimes paying attention to Mama and Papa, but mainly wanting to get to the next corner and after that, to another. The walk feels long, but finally!

My face splits into a grin without me even knowing it. Because I know her: that young woman with her back against the wall.

"Hey Saturn," Papa calls.

_Everyone's named after planets_, I think to myself, but store the information for later.

"How was the fourth point?" she asks, her eyes casting weary glances at Mama.

"Peaceful," _Neptune _answers with a strained smile.

Hotaru Nee-chan smiles as well, arms going around mama's shoulders and their heads meeting as they lean against each other. "So was the third. Mars and Venus are coming back from the second, Jupiter and Mercury from the fifth and we can make the first one big party."

My mama sighs, but bites the sound back as Papa leans into her and kisses her hair softly.

"For now though," a voice says from another unseen corner. I look over as Tsuna ba-san almost appears out of thin air only in the same outfit as everyone, sans color. "You have time."

I see a grateful smile spread through Mama's face and wordlessly, they separate, Papa and Mama to an eastern hall and Hotaru Nee-chan and Suna ba-san to the west. I follow them again, my hand mindlessly tracing the walls I pass until we come to a semi opened door, see through curtains gracing the entrance of it. My eyes strain from sudden lights and sparkles and in front of me, as suddenly as they first appeared in Sailor fuku, they're once again the same loving parents that I've come to know. Warmth settles in my chest as I see Mama again for the first time in what seems like ages.

If this is the future…if this'll come to be, judging from their appearance, it's not that far ahead. They still look the same as they do now…in the present. The same smooth visages, the same piercing eyes, the same warm smiles. Everything feels…the same.

Amidst my brewing thoughts, I don't realize we've stopped in a bedroom until Mama pulls bed curtains out of her way. Something in the back of my mind is niggling at me to not look at what the bed holds. I can even be honest and say that a part of me is scared to see what resides after the light blue silvery curtains. But curiosity punches everything aside and I strafe to the left, my head veering also in that direction and what I see freezes me to the bone.

Mama is now sitting at the bedside, the turmoil and anguish in her eyes as prevalent as they were in the riverbank. Papa stands beside her, a warm hand on her shoulder and projecting a perfect symbol of a pillar to lean against, but her emeralds also give way to the same sadness my mother's whole countenance is giving itself to. It feels as if they've done this before: Mama sitting at a bedside, Papa standing beside her, both silent and willing to let nothing but the echoes of this epicenter surround them.

And me?

Anger fills me. It starts as a disgusting feeling in my stomach and erupts in my heart—quick and fiery. I stand my ground as my breathing quickens, my nails biting deep into my palms as I register the whole scene splayed before me. This sadness…this turmoil…it's my fault…

There I am…_sleeping_…not knowing how much depression I'm causing the only people who I've known to carry me through thick and thin and…

"Wake up!"

As with earlier, I hear my yell resounding through the thick walls, but of course it falls on deaf ears. I yell it again, louder if possible and note how Mama's shoulders hunch and begin shaking, a trained hand residing to her mouth to choke out the sobs and Papa's arms coming around her grieving form warmly. My heart breaks at the scene…and I want so badly to have the power to show her that it's alright. That her daughter, _me_…I may be ensconced in an unbreakable crystal with eyes that seem glued shut to the outside world, but it will end. A part of me understands that this…is just a phase. That I will wake up. _Everyone_ will wake up. And we'll be together again.

I don't realize my feet are taking me closer to the bed until my legs touch the wooden sides of the frame, Mama's still crying form a mere foot to my right. I stare at myself, at the crystallization around my entire form barring even any form of contact, but mainly, I look pass the light blue and stare…at the face that looks like mine. A replica. A near replica. Not very much older, and definitely not younger. And I _know_…this will happen sooner than later…this sleeping crystallization of a city—no, a world. And I know now, that I have to wake up.

I close my eyes, hearing my heartbeat drum wildly against my ears.

_Wake up._

_ Wake up._

O-O

I wake up coughing in wild spurts, my lungs burning from the sudden action and my throat itching as if I've just drank a whole glass of water and it proceeded to go down the wrong tube. Activity flurries beside me, hands reaching out to brush my hair back, another touching my forehead to check my temperature and as I look up, I meet sparkling similar sapphires and before my brain could react my body's already reaching forward, wanting more than anything to be embraced by my mother.

But then pain shoots through my chest and my right hand and I retract back into the comfort of pillows, my ears hearing the simultaneous yells of my name around the small room. I frown at my right arm and at the sling keeping it at its angled position and the questioning look goes back to my mama.

She smiles, the worried frown on her forehead still creased as she answers the unspoken question, "You dislocated your shoulder. Your papa pulled you out before any of the other racers could finish, except of course number twelve, but there was a wide berth between the two of you after the last jump so…"

She trails off, not having to finish the sentence morbidly, but I'm just so happy to be out of that dreaded place that I don't mind it. I lift my left arm up to her, and she understands what I want without any words and finally hugs me, making sure not to disrupt the apparently injured right side.

"Hello kaa-san," I greet sheepishly and smile wider as warm hands grip my cheeks and a kiss is given to my forehead.

"Hello aka-chan," she smiles back, but the worry is still imminent in her eyes.

Guilt eats at me at seeing it and I look down at my lap and sigh as an apology streams out of my lips quietly.

Her look turns questioning. "It's…nothing you could've prevented Haru," she says softly but I shake my head to refute, already knowing she would say that.

I look back up to her, then to my papa at my left with the same worried frown and at my right at Hotaru nee-chan and Tsuna ba-san. Behind mama, I feel my insides suddenly freeze at Toshi's worried stance, but more than that is Tsubasa next to him, fidgety and looking like she wanted to come nearer, but not doing so at the same time. I punch my feelings on that matter aside and breathe in deeply, staring squarely into similar sapphires.

"I didn't want to tell anyone. At least not until you were home. I felt like I had to tell you first."

The serious intonation in my voice causes my mama to sit straighter and I can feel the comfort level in the room dropping at my morose voice.

"About what Haru?" Papa asks beside me, and I breathe in deeply again to try to feel settled.

"I've been…it'll sound weird. And I don't know where it's coming from. It happens when I'm awake or even asleep. But more often when I'm awake and…it takes my whole concentration. It always feels like I'm being taken elsewhere and just as suddenly as it comes it leaves and—

I stop as I feel soft fingers stroking my cheek and swallow reflexively. I was thinking I'd see disbelief in my mama's eyes, but I don't. In contrast, there's a deep understanding there. As if she believes everything I have to say even if they were close to impossible otherwise.

She looks behind her and addresses my best friends. "Toshi-kun, Tsubasa-chan, we'd like to speak with Haru alone. Is it okay to wait outside for a moment? It won't take very long and you guys can have your turn."

They nod without question, my attention catching my female best friend's eyes a bit longer before they both leave us, the clicking of the knob palpable in my ears. My eyes stray from the closed door and again to my mother as my immediate family pull chairs so everyone sits in a squiggly circle at my bedside.

"You're having visions."

I note that it isn't a question, but nod nonetheless.

"For how long?"

"A…month? Give and take a week or so."

"Of?"

"A crystallized city…Tokyo…only…crystal…" I sound ridiculous in my ears, but again the reaction I'm expecting from her and everyone is different from what I've been readying myself for.

She looks up to Tsuna ba-san who's intense stare at the floor could riddle a hole through it.

"And what of this crystallized city?" my aunt asks, still in deep thought.

I think back to my dream state and go from there. "Everything's frozen. _Everything._" I emphasize. "And...I'm not sure about people because…I didn't really see them. But…" I remember my encased figure on the bed and attempt to swallow so my throat doesn't feel tight. "I'm…pretty sure…they're frozen too. Asleep. Kind of in…frozen caskets."

I shiver involuntarily and look back up to Mama.

Her attention switches once again to Tsuna ba-san who sighs audibly and looks at me. "Did you see anything else? _Anyone…_else?"

My aunt has a crazy ability to ask questions she knows would stump me. As if she knows the answer already but wants to hear it out of my mouth.

I nod, needing water desperately. I look at mama at first, then to papa who looks just as curious as everyone else.

"I saw all of you," I answer, my eyes locked with my mama's. "In…sailor fuku. I didn't…I mean, you all looked familiar. First, I saw you and papa. But…I didn't realize it was you because," I shrug," probably because you looked so weird wearing short skirts with bows in a tight fitting suit! I don't know! But then…I smelled…" I redden at the prospect. Cuz really, I've never _told_ papa what she smells like…even though I've thought it enough. My attention goes to her and a blonde brow goes up in question. I smile sheepishly. "I smelled papa, cuz she smells…sharp and protective."

She chuckles and brings a strong hand up to brush my bangs back and I grin at her action.

"And from that I just knew. But…" I see Neptune in my eyes. At mama's defeated form at my bedside and my heart burns at the thought that it'll be me causing that. I move, not caring if my body feels sore all over and my arm is protesting at the sudden movement until I'm hugging her and she's doing the same, tightly but carefully and I can't help the tears that suddenly erupt, nor can I stop them. She only hugs me tighter, and papa makes to sit at my bedside to join us.

I feel everyone surround me—a pat in my back, a swish of my hair and a huge part of me is relieved that I've finally let what feels like a horrible secret out, but mainly because they believe all of what I had to say without question or skepticism. After they've settled me back to the comfort of my pillows a sigh emits from each one of them and it feels like some sort of meeting is starting to take place before me.

"We need to tell the others," Nee-san says as she places her chair beside the wall again. "If Haru's visions are real, and they sound too real to ignore, it sounds like we have some preparation to do. I doubt we'll have much time to do so as well."

At the word time, all of them glanced at Tsuna ba-san who only sighs again, but nods. "When we head back to Tokyo we'll gather everyone and discuss it."

"So it's true then." It feels like I've interrupted when all of their eyes shoot over at me. "About…the whole sailor fuku thing and…"

I trail off as Mama reaches over and places her palm over my cheek with a smile. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's not as if we meant to keep it a secret. We were just waiting for the right time. It looks like time got ahead of us though."

"But we will tell you everything," Papa says, hands casually resting in her pockets as she stands over me. "As your mama says, it's not something we meant to keep from you. But from here on out, knowing who we are and what we're to tell you must be kept within this family." At this, she shoots a glance towards the door and I understand without a word what she's referring to.

I nod, but I already know it'll be difficult to keep this to myself. It feels as if I've already kept so much from my two friends.

"Haru."

I look up to my mother who smiles gently at me.

"If…it proves difficult to keep this from them, proceed with caution. Remember that knowing the things we'll tell you is a responsibility in and of itself, and we don't tell them to people outside this family more for their protection than ours. But if you feel you must, then you should. We trust in your ability to look at this in all angles and gauge on what direction you feel is best. Of course if there's any confusion on this matter, we're always here to support you in any way we can."

I smile at my mama's words and lean into her touch. Breathing deeply, I say the only words I feel need to be said. "I miss you mama."

O-O

True to their words, as they always are, my family leaves the room to go outside and usher my friends in. As the resounding thud of the door closing reaches my ears again, I look up to both of them and settle deeper in my makeshift bed.

Toshi grunts and brushes a hand roughly through his short hair. He looks a bit peeved and I find out why as soon as he speaks. "I knew there was something wrong with you."

He speaks towards the wall, but his eyes narrow even more as they land on me.

"It's not—

"Not what Haru?!" he yells, and the anger coming out of him almost throws me off. "I _asked_ you! What? This is a family thing that you just don't tell friends? Or Tsubasa knows too and you guys go off in your own little world like you always do?!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" I yell now as well and only stop as my female best friend gets in between us.

I look at her again and find it as hard as when I first saw her so I look down at my covered lap.

"For the record Toshi-kun I had no idea Haru-chan was blacking out else I would've told Tenoh-san so she wouldn't have to participate today," Tsubasa states frostily. "And Haru, I would think you smart enough to tell at least your family—

"That what?!" I cut off this time, anger blinding me from another situation that doesn't have much to do with what we're currently arguing about. "And the hell do you care anyway! You weren't supposed to be here today!"

"I'm here because I carpooled with Hotaru-san to pick up your mother at the airport."

Her quick reply leaves me speechless and again I look away because looking at her is proving too difficult for even words.

"Look we're getting side tracked okay," Toshi states, arms crossing his chest as he leans against the far wall. "Why didn't you tell us Haru?"

My frown deepens, escalated by a throbbing I feel on my left temple. "What the hell could I say?" I ask quietly, feeling defeated. My throat feels like it's closing again and I swallow futilely at it to feel some comfort. "What with everything going on its…" I look up at both of them evenly. "What would you two have done? I didn't want to discuss it until kaa-san gets here. I didn't want her to feel like she had to come home over something that could've been minor. My head was swimming. Up until today it was just annoying. Something that happens when I'm in the middle of a boring lecture or…whatever. If I knew this would happen, I would've stopped myself from participating too. I'm not stupid. The whole race I was panicking because I didn't want to get run over by nineteen other motorcycles! I wanted to see my mama again! I missed her! And…I wanted to apologize for being a jerk to you!"

The last sentence is yelled out to Tsubasa and I note her eyes widening at the words.

"I didn't want either of you to think I was going insane. Cuz it felt like I was. Every freakin' day I would see a crystallized city that felt too fucking real. And I get so scared—

I swipe at suddenly flowing tears with my free hand and all too soon Tsubasa is at my uninjured side, hugging me tightly as Toshi walks away from the wall and sits at the other.

"Stupid, what do you think we're here for?" he says, but his words come out soft, endearing, and exasperated all at once.

He smirks at my crying expression and helps wipe away some tears as Tsubasa begins doing the same.

"Haru…"

I lock with concerned light blues as she picks up my hand with both of hers and places it in front of her lips.

"Don't…do that again."

I swallow at the helplessness in her voice.

"If something's wrong, let us in. Either me or Toshi. It doesn't have to be both, but let one of us know. You may have been scared about the prospect of getting run over today but you have no idea how horrifying it was to be in the stands to watch it almost happen. We're only glad Tenoh-san had been there to drag you out or…"

She trails off and I can only lower my head in apology because the words aren't able to stream out. I feel her kiss my palm before leaning over and hugging me again and I tell my heart to slow down because it really isn't the right time for it to be so loud and erratic. I look up to my other best friend to see his smirk come back in full force, but he gives me a break and just messes up my hair, laughing loudly as a I growl at him for it.

O-O

I found that having a dislocated shoulder isn't all that bad, but as a whole, it's still annoying as hell. If I keep it in one place, the pain feels like a monotonous throb. If I move it…Yeah, I've made sure not to move it so much. The main downside is I can't really do much for myself. I'm left sitting out of most if not all of PE period, depending on the activity, and writing with my left hand is a huge pain in the ass. I haven't really had a decent night's rest in a while either so it leaves me a bit crabby every morning. The biggest upside is that Tsubasa has been hovering around me since then and would, without question, help me with things that I can't do for myself. Same goes with Toshi, but he complains how I'm taking advantage of the situation every time he does, so Tsubasa taking his place is definitely more enjoyable.

It's on a warm school lunch hour on the rooftop with Tsubasa feeding me lunch (one of the definite upsides) and with Toshi smirking at me knowingly that the events of "The Race" as we like to call it now, comes back up. I haven't told either of my friends about the reality-dream state I was in, but everyone's in the same page about the visions I was having. The weird part is that it's completely stopped since then, leaving me feeling skittish about its possible reappearance and simultaneous relief of its disappearance.

"So…it's definitely gone then right?" Toshi asks, his legs crossed in front of him and popping a coconut shrimp tempura from his bento to his mouth.

I nod, my eyes staring at the same chopsticks Tsubasa and I are sharing. Since the beginning of the school week, when it became rather obvious how un-ambidextrous I was, she's been making it a point to feed me, not really paying attention to the fact that I have chopsticks of my own. The thoughts of indirect kisses still flood my brain every time food's inserted in my mouth and Toshi's wagging eyebrows and hard smirk when Tsubasa isn't looking is always sigh and eye roll worthy.

"I'm kind of afraid it'll come back at another inopportune time," I reply opening my mouth again at the insistent of a hard at work female best friend.

"Oba-san's pulled you out of motocross right?"

I nod, disappointed that I won't be able to compete this year but knowing full well why. I don't blame them and I still need to talk to Papa to make sure she's not beating herself up over something I could've prevented. The night we came back from Chiba all of them sat me down and answered all my questions, even as far as showing me newspaper clippings back when they were "active". It was a sight to behold, but during the whole time, all I kept thinking was, it was another secret I had to keep from my two best friends.

I decide then, that I would tell them something. Not the mind blowing details my family has shared with me a few nights before, but something…for their sake and more-so mine. "If I tell you guys something…you promise it won't leave this rooftop?"

With just this question, I get both of their undivided attention. Tsubasa wipes some crumbs from her lips as Toshi pushes his bento aside and they both look at me wordlessly.

"The…visions I was getting," I start, my eyes darting towards browns and light blues alike. "My family's basically come to a consensus that…it's going to happen."

"Can you be a bit more specific about these visions so _we_ know what you're talking about?" Toshi asks and although he says it in an annoyed voice, I understand and know him too well that sometimes his reaction just stems out of his insecurity.

I don't realize a sad frown overtakes my countenance as I rehash my thoughts back to that sleeping city. "That everything will freeze over. Everyone will be asleep. And only a select few is allowed to live through it."

They both stare at me seriously, eyes widening at my morose answer. If they think it's beyond even my imagination, they don't say so.

"A part of me knows this sleeping state isn't forever…but can you imagine being one of the select few to not be frozen? To walk through an entire city—world even! And…not a soul to greet you? Echoing footsteps. If something were to make a sound you'd hear it clearly because you're so used to the silence. Can you imagine living like that?"

Neither answer so I plow on, desperate to get my point across. "Let's say you love someone. You love them so much that you wouldn't want them to suffer. But this thing that's going to happen—it's inevitable. There's nothing you can do to stop it. You'll be in a dreamlike state. But them…they'll be awake for god knows how long, waiting…waiting for you. They know you're not hurt. And they're relieved. But at the same time, because they miss you—because they don't hear your voice…because they _can't_ even touch you…this frozen state you're in pains them deeply…hurts them so much more than any physical wound can inflict…what're you supposed to do about that?"

Silence greets my almost rhetorical question and I wish either of them can supply an answer that I can hold on to. I sigh and clutch my head, feeling one of the many headaches coming back since I woke up from the race. Before I can tell both of them to forget my crazy rambling, I feel a soft hand on my thigh, thumb caressing through the plaid pants. I look over to Tsubasa who smiles at me warmly.

"I would record as many memories as I can," she says clearly. "In hopes that they'll be able to see it during the freeze and seeing me would make the time away bearable. I would…do scrapbooks and poems and journal entries so they won't forget me. Lastly I would spend as much time with them as I can…because if the inevitable is coming tomorrow, I don't want to be disappointed about missing chances and opportunities."

I stare at her, mouth dropping inadvertently and only take notice to bring it back up when I hear Toshi laugh brashly at me. I dagger stare him as he leans back against his arms.

"I have a camcorder you can borrow," he says easily erasing my annoyed look altogether.

"So you believe me?"

"Haru…" my brown haired friend calls with a sigh, "I'd rather believe you than think you were insane okay? Plus, you're reaction to all of this is way too serious for it to be a joke. You're not the best actress you know."

I smile at his easy words, sighing as my body relaxes into the chain linked metal fence behind me. It feels as if a ton of weights lifted off of my shoulders from finally divulging this insecurity to my friends.

"Just so we're clear…the person that you love that you were talking about—

"My parents!" I yell half harassed.

Toshi laughs and mock cries. "Aww she doesn't mean _us_ Tsubasa."

I roll my eyes but smile a bit more at the giggles coming out of my other friend.

"You guys'll be asleep too so when we all wake up I think it'll be like no time at all has passed," I explain, waving my uninjured hand at Toshi dismissively.

"And our parents will be asleep too? Just not yours?"

"Them…Hotaru nee-chan and my many aunts…and one uncle…I think."

He rubs at his chin thoughtfully. "Guess I'll consider us the lucky ones then. Anyway, as I said before I'll get my camcorder at home and you can use it as long as you'd like."

"And of course I'll help you with scrapbooking and any of that if you need it," Tsubasa adds beside me.

I smile at both of them. "I'll be counting on both of you then."

O-O

It turned out to be a bigger task than I can ever dream, one of those easier on paper than to action deal. Even with Toshi and Tsubasa going everywhere with me and doing the tasks I couldn't do otherwise with this god awful shoulder, we found that the getting there is not only timely, but costly as well. My first course of action was to go through places in which I remember spending the most with my mama and papa and recording the most memorable parts of that place/memory in my perspective. The problem was I couldn't very well ask papa to take us to said places seeing as that would inevitably defeat the purpose of the whole project, but taking the train after school and eating out totally blew through all our allowances easily; Tokyo is _not _a cheap place to venture through.

It's also tiring, and after two full weeks into this with all of us complaining and begrudging it the whole way through, I found that the whole thing, in general, was also counterproductive to what I've been trying to achieve. I didn't notice it until week three, on my way out of my mama's car as she's dropping me off to school, how irrational it all seemed.

"Will you be with Toshi-kun and Tsubasa-chan again today?" she asks and if I didn't turn to answer her, I would've missed the flash of sadness in her similar sapphires.

The answer caught in my throat and a small strangled sound comes out instead.

Mama's look turns into concern, but before she can voice it I finally answer, "No."

"No?" she repeats and I smile toothily in response in hopes that she doesn't read the guilt in my face instead.

I shuffle through my mind and come up with a not so random idea. "Please tell papa that she owes me a fishing trip and since it's the weekend, I'll bring Toshi and Tsubasa and all of us will spend the whole time out at sea!"

She laughs at my presumed silliness, combs my already unruly hair and before I can react, kisses my forehead as a goodbye gesture. I blush as I hear snickers from passing students and scramble out of the car, mama's knowing chuckle reaching my red tinged ears.

"See you at home aka-chan," she calls deliberately loud.

I sigh as laughter combines with the snickers and turn back only to give a slight wave before jogging into the school.

O-O

"So I only got this but…I think I'm doing things wrong."

My two best friends eye me as we settle into class waiting for homeroom to begin and talking over the general chatter of the room.

Toshi slings his bookbag on a hook to the right of the desk and turns back to me, plopping backwards on his chair.

"Doing what wrong?" he asks, taking my bag from my desk and hooking it in place as well.

I wave my working arm everywhere. "Everything!" I exclaim and it seems it only makes sense to me.

"Haru, I swear to god if you didn't already look disabled I would—

"I'm sure what Haru means to say is that her project is turning out to be more counterproductive than she had first thought," Tsubasa, ever the clairvoyant, clarifies.

I point to her and nod. "Yes."

Toshi sighs and shrugs. "Makes sense. Even oyaji's been on my ass about being out late…not that I care."

I bite my lip at the mention of Toshi's father but he swipes at the look of unease on my face.

"Stop it," he growls. "Stop making me repeat how much I want to do this with you two while saying I don't give a damn what _he_ says…"

I sigh, hoping to come across a change of subject and finding one. "We're going fishing this weekend by the way."

His look of annoyance turns to a broad grin. "Hell yeah! Count me in." And turns his attention to the front of the classroom as our homeroom teacher makes herself known.

"Sounds fun," Tsubasa says softly next to me and smiles. "So what's your plan now?"

"I need to spend time with them. Can't do that if I'm out and about. Maybe I should start a diary…"

"Sounds gay."

I whack Toshi from behind and smile in satisfaction at the grunt that follows.

Light blue eyes shimmer in amusement at me and she adds, "Regardless of what it sounds like, it's a good idea. Keep a camera and video recorder with you at all times. I'm sure your parents will appreciate the gesture when the time comes."

I smile and nod.

O-O

I close my eyes as mama slathers a large amount of sunblock on my face, smooth fingers gliding over both cheeks, forehead, chin, neck, and a dab on my nose. When I open them again the first thing I see is Tsubasa in a two piece running both hands over long shapely legs and the milky substance making already creamy skin all the more.

An inadvertent blush crawls through my face and for some reason, within those ten seconds, I forget that my mother is kneeling in front of me, no doubt, reading every emotion in my face effortlessly.

"Like what you see Haru?" she asks softly, her voice in an inconspicuous whisper.

I feel my face grow even hotter as I finally build enough courage to match her amused stare.

"Kaa-san!" I cry, feeling harassed.

She laughs, ever so sweetly, and musses my hair as she stands. "At least that answers my age old question."

I bite a retort, noting everyone's attention to us, to the glimmer of my papa's knowing smile, Toshi's expression turning from questioning to eager as papa hands him a fishing rod, and Tsubasa's still asking countenance.

I look away, hoping she won't ask later because it's not like I can answer it either way.

The sky is a cloudless blue, would remind me of crystal, but those…visions haven't disturbed me in weeks. Once my shoulder heals in another few weeks' time it would all seem like a bad dream, but of course I know better. I stand at the edge of the boat, the railing my only salvation from watery oblivion and I must've stared off for too long because a comforting grasp almost pulls me protectively back. I look to my left and give a lopsided smile to Haruka.

"Careful," she says softly, rubbing my back and handing me a fishing pole simultaneously. She lets out a husky chuckle and gives me a wondering look. "We haven't really thought this through, but how're you supposed to reel the fish in?"

I grin toothily at her. "That's why I brought you along!"

She sighs playfully at my expected answer, grabs her rod, and puts it alongside mine. "Can't be helped. You're lucky I love you."

My grin widens and amidst the mischievous twinkle I see in her stormy teal eyes, I see the honest truth there as well.

"I really am," I reply, softer and just as honest.

It takes another few minutes for everyone to settle down into the camping chairs, Papa and me in the middle, Tsubasa to my right, Toshi to papa's left, and mama off to the side, drawing pad in hand and judging from the way she's looking our way every few seconds, busying herself with a real life portrait.

The conversation is easy, the fish rare, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. Toshi lucks out and gets the first nibble mid-afternoon and with papa's coaching and a long handled net we were able to pull a four pound sea bass in. The look of boyish joy in his face as I take his picture with the fish is the first I've seen in a long time.

The afternoon passes easily and between all of us we catch six fish: three skipjacks, one yellowtail, and two sea bass, none of them outrageously big, but still keeping us ridiculously giddy at the prospect that we caught them.

As mama and papa make a meal of nabe ready inside the yacht that evening, my friends and I stay outside, squinted eyes trailing a slowly setting sun. Comfortable silence envelops us during the whole thing, and in that moment, I knew without a doubt that these two will be my friends forever. It didn't matter what the future threw at us—if Toshi becomes even more boisterous than he already has or if Tsubasa doesn't accept my feelings. I knew that we had an unbreakable friendship.

I encase both of them in a one arm hug, my right one throbbing a bit as Tsubasa leans carefully in and my left casually slung over Toshi's growing muscular shoulders. I want to take a picture, in case I need it on a rainy day when I know I'd be feeling some bout of teenage blues, but at the same time I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I let the thought pass.

It'll be fine. Everything'll be fine.

O-O

After dinner is spent lazily, each of us too lethargic to do much of anything than lounge around in the deck area of the boat and conversation passes along with the time. The stars twinkle visibly from above, the city miles and miles away behind us and mama and papa surprise us with their vast knowledge of constellations, stars, and a rare planet visible with the naked eye. More than paying attention to their words, as my two friends are doing, I see them...together, as I've grown accustomed to and it's been so long since my mama hasn't been with papa that I've forgotten what it's like without the former around. Two peas in a pod sound like the perfect analogy for them. Or...soulmates, but I'm afraid I'd get laughed at if I say it out loud.

They're perfectly content sitting next to each other, a small blanket encompassing both their laps and papa's arm is wrapped comfortably around mama's waist. They're both looking up, each one carving a picture into the night sky about a constellation they both see and my smile widens, little by little as I see small nuances from each of them that they probably don't even notice. How Haruka's rubbing tender circles into mama's waist with her free arm and how mama places her head into that nook connecting papa's shoulder and neck. They do it so naturally, flow together seemingly as one, that it's hard to see one without connecting the other. Even when mama was doing her concerts abroad, there was always something in the way papa was that made sure I can feel both of them.

At that exact moment in time, there's only one thing I wish for. They've been the perfect parents, probably spoiled me more than what was healthy, but they've done it with care and lessons along the way that I'm thankful I haven't turned rotten or bratty from it, although the latter is probably expressed more often than I should. But more than wanting items I know they can give, I want what they have. I want that with someone—even a fraction of that would probably be too much to ask for. But their infallible bond, in which they can speak with their eyes and converse with body language...I want that. I want something I know they can't give me. And as if that's the only cue I needed, I make the decision that tonight would be the night.

My heart begins beating erratically at the mere thought, but how long has it been? I count through the years in my mind, two and a half, and sigh inwardly at how cowardly I've become. I look at my female best friend from my peripheral and see her smile, her attention to the starlit sky and ask myself the dreadful question that's been running there in circles for what seems like eternity: what would happen if it ruins everything?

More than hoping for my feelings to be returned, because I've already deemed that highly unlikely, I wish more than anything that my confession doesn't push her further. I don't want to spend the rest of my days asking the what ifs, but the other part of that is also another what if. If I didn't confess and our friendship goes on being the way it is now, wouldn't that be a better alternative than to have a friendship of eight years disintegrate? Even if the worst case scenario doesn't happen, I think I'd die little by little if every action I do is interpreted wrongly in Tsubasa's eyes and seen as a romantic gesture, rather than just a friendly one.

My head starts aching from all the pondering and I'm thankful that the stargazing stops after another fifteen minutes in favor of sleep. Mama and papa lets us go in the cabin first, most likely wanting some time by themselves in the deck before driving back to the pier and turning in as well. We've decided to spend the weekend fishing and apparently there's some fish that's more likely to come out earlier in the morning so we'll be spending the nights sleeping in the cabin and getting up possibly even before the sun rises and going out to sea again the next day.

Inside, there's enough space for three single futons on one side and a somewhat bigger bed for my parents to sleep in on the other. After choosing which futon is ours for the duration of the trip, Tsubasa choosing the middle and Toshi and I on either side, we use the facilities and turn in soon after.

I'm always amazed at Toshi's inept ability to sleep at a moment's notice. He's had, on occasions when he'd sleep over, literally conk in the middle of one of our conversations. Funny in retrospect, annoying while it's actually happening. Today, not two minutes have gone by and he's already snoring, the funny sound filling the cabin easily.

I sigh outwardly, the sound catching Tsubasa's attention and causing her to giggle.

"I swear it's like he takes sleeping meds or something," I mutter in a half whisper, turning to my comfortable side which happens to be where she's laying as well.

I see light blue eyes twinkle at me from the minimal lighting in the cabin and the familiarity from it makes me smile outwardly, forgetting about Toshi until another one of his snores break the silence. I play around with my right arm, the sling making it uncomfortable as it usually does when I'm lying and grunt and turn until I'm kind of satisfied with how it feels. She gets up to help me, but I wave her kindness away, sighing and resigning myself to another uncomfortable night.

She pouts, leans towards me on one arm and with the other push back my unruly bangs. And it's times like this when I see that spark of hope and I feel like squelching it, but her fingers feel good and, really, this would be one of those things I'd give up if this confession takes a turn for the worse.

I sigh outwardly again.

"You've been restless for a while," she says, just soft enough for the two of us to not disturb the narcoleptic in the room.

I nod and point to my arm, but she shakes her head in refute.

"Even before...during stargazing."

I feel my eyes widen and she chuckles at my expression.

"What? It's quite obvious when you're off drifting, you know. You get quiet...and a quiet Haru isn't normal."

I roll my eyes and push her playfully with my good arm, loving the sound of her laughter heightening. It serves to make me smile as well.

"So?" she asks as we settle back down. "What're you thinking about?"

And before I can stop it, retort just as quickly, "You."

Her eyes widen in surprise, and I have to reiterate because I'm not quite ready...yet. Maybe in another couple conversations...

"...and flower power."

Her look turns asking. "Flower power?"

"What we named your flower arrangements boyfriend."

She gives me an unimpressed look and turns her attention to the ceiling.

I'm not sure if she'll give a reply to that so I quickly add, "Toshi may not like it at first, but I think you should invite him to the group. You know...to have lunch with us or whatever. I mean, it's not like we'll immediately like him, but—

"Stop that train of thought."

One of my eyebrows jerk in question.

"We're not going out."

I frown at her statement. "You said that your answer was 'yes'."

She turns back to me, her face also in a frown. "And you were being annoying so I answered the only way I know would make you back off. And if I did say yes, wouldn't it be weird that you never see us in school together?"

I give a one armed shrug, my expression one of controlled indifference. "I figure you were just giving it time."

"And amidst going to the city with you and Toshi on the days that I don't have cram school, spending every waking moment in school with you, eating lunch with you, spending a whole weekend (and as she says this makes a gesture at where we are) with you...you think that I'd have time for a boyfriend?"

"If you didn't want to come, you didn't have to you know," and as I say this, I know I can't control the amount of bitterness that expels from my words.

"Haru..."

I turn so that I'm facing the ceiling and she scrambles to be the one turned to me this time, half of her body in my futon.

"You're completely missing the point," she says with a sigh.

"Oh? And what is that?"

"That I wasn't going to say yes in the first place!" she exclaims in a loud whisper. "Regardless of what Toshi said, I wouldn't have said yes. You and him just annoyed me enough to lie about it...You know I don't like being told what to do, especially in circumstances where it's a bit private. You're both my best friends and I love you dearly, but both of you can't be immature when things like that happen! When Aika-chan started hitting on Toshi, I didn't go crazy-best-friend on him. I smiled because if it made him happy, I was happy. I'd just like the same treatment when the time comes that it happens to me."

"It'll be different when that time comes," I argue not wanting to face her and lose a staring contest.

"Different how? Tell me Haru...if the same thing were to happen to you and _I _demand that you tell that person 'no'-

"Then I'd say no."

"Just like that?"

I match her stare. "Just like that." I pause as she looks at me searchingly. "Why wouldn't I just be able to just say no?"

"Won't it depend on the person who's confessing?"

"Does that depend for you?"

"Yes," she says without missing a beat.

"So who would you say yes to?"

I smirk as I see her connect the dots to the corner I've driven her. She stops for a second, looks at me quite like she wants to take the smile out of my face, then replies, "We're...getting sidetracked from the real subject matter at hand."

I chuckle mirthlessly. "Oh sorry," I say sarcastically and shrug again for good measure. "Fine. Just to be fair, the next time someone comes and confesses to me, I'll let you and Toshi know and whatever the group decision is, I'll adhere to it."

Tsubasa presses her fingers against her temples and shut her eyes tiredly. "You're _still_ missing the point."

"Because the point of the matter is, Toshi and I can't be without you," I state with a nonplussed stare and I see her own light blue orbs widening at my sudden declaration, but I feel too frustrated to care. "Him being with Aika-chan doesn't do anything to our group dynamic. And he established that from day one. She sometimes eats lunch with us, but when push comes to shove Toshi will choose us over her...even rejects time spent with her in favor of ours. If I ever say 'yes' to someone, I'll choose what we have over what I might have, no questions asked, because this (I point to her and me) this is special. And it's not special because it happened overnight. It's something all three of us nurtured and grew together. We've known each other since day one. People have tried to get in our circle, but they've been unsuccessful and you know why? Because once they come in, and discover the dynamic, they find that they can't add to it. We don't need them. When that realization hits, they leave in favor of someone that does.

"You may not know it, but you're the glue to this friendship. If you're not here Toshi and I...we get lost. We bicker and fight, and God I don't know how long we'd last if you weren't there to keep us tethered. We know this. That's why we acted the way we did. It _is_ immature. It's not fair. Definitely not for you. But that's how it is. That's how we both feel. All I know is whoever it is, when you say 'yes' to him," I shrug not liking the pronounced hollow feeling in my chest. "It'll be over."

"And what? You guys think I can't make the same sacrifice?"

I shake my head. "No. Because as you said...Toshi and I are too immature...and we don't like to share."

She sighs and I can hear the defeat there, but I feel just as tired from our talk.

Maybe tonight isn't the right night...

I hear her sigh again and I think that she'll head back to her side of the futon, but she doesn't, and only end up coming closer to mine and starts pushing my hair back with her free hand again. She does this often, like mama does with papa and I smile at the afterthought which she sees, but doesn't question.

"So that talk in the beginning," she starts again, soft fingers never ceasing their caress, "about inviting, Naruse-kun to lunches…"

I stop an outward purr. "Yeah…that was me trying to act mature."

She laughs albeit softly. "It didn't last very long."

"Considering the talk after is you saying 'no'…although," I scrunch my forehead in thought. "Never mind that…I'm more interested in the when you'd say 'yes' portion."

I grin as light blue eyes roll in exasperation and surprisingly enough I see acquiesce there. "Fine, I'll answer you that question if you answer mine."

I grin, not heeding the warning sign I feel echoing in the recesses of my tired brain. "Sounds fair enough."

"Remember when we were ten?"

"Mhmm."

"In your bedroom?"

"Gotta be more specific than that."

"After we just got done studying."

"Way more specific than that."

"When you kissed me."

My heart stops abruptly and the retort I was saving gets caught in my throat. Tsubasa's eyes lock with mine, and I see concern there, but I don't really digest it. I shift my back closer to my right side instead to avoid her open stare.

"I kinda assumed we had an unspoken agreement about not talking about that day anymore," I reply hollowly.

Her fingers stop dancing with my hair and she moves up as well, one arm helping her prop up so her face is hanging over me and the other cupping my cheek so that I can't look away.

"My question," she says clearly, her orbs darting to each one of mine seriously, "is if you've found the answer to that question…and I hope somewhere along the road you didn't kiss Toshi-kun to get it."

I feel discomfort lodge in my throat and I have to swallow a couple times to get around it, rather unsuccessfully to my chagrin. "I already said I was sorry…and of course not. Toshi wouldn't let me forget it like you're not allowing me to right now."

She smirks, as if amused by my obvious discomfort. She most likely is… "So answer the question," she says again, keeping my eyes locked with hers successfully.

"I've forgotten it," I dodge, making her laugh. It sounds quite sadistic in my ears.

"Do you know your preference, Haru?"

Yeah, there's no way I can't not answer it if she asks it point blank like that. I feel her intense stare and I can't match it, so my eyes drift to the skin between her bottom lip and her chin and am only able to look up to her again when I hear a resounding sigh escape from her.

"I'm your best friend," she says and I can definitely hear the hurt laced in her tone. "Why's it so hard to tell me?"

"It's _because_ you're my best friend," I growl, my eyes narrowing as I lock with hers again. "Look, you want me to answer your question? Fine! Yes, Tsu, I know my preference. I've known it for a couple of years. If you really have to ask me what it is, then maybe we don't know each other quite as well as we say we do."

I'm annoyed now and I _know_ what I was planning on can't be done tonight. I shift so that I can escape her grasp, an inadvertent grunt coming out of my pursed lips as I move to my right side a tad much and end up bumping my shoulder into the ground.

"Haru…" Tsubasa calls, the concern in her voice unmissed, but I shrug it off due to my growing anger. "Will you be more careful with your shoulder?"

"I don't care about it," I spit out and I know I'm being a bit irrational, but I stopped caring ages ago.

"Well I do," she bites back, just as fast and locks both my cheeks with both of her hands now so my attention is again on her. She sees that I'm angry, and I can see clearly that she's quite annoyed with me too; we've known each other too long to miss these familiar expressions. She sighs, closes her eyes roughly to summon the patience to deal with me and a second later opens them. "Ask your question."

I shrug. "I've forgotten it." To be quite honest, I really have.

Her sigh deepens. "Who I'd say 'yes' to."

My eyes roll. I'm sick of this game, but when she's in this mood I don't dare say that kind of crap out loud. I resign just so she and I can get our rest for the night and maybe talk about it a bit better in the morning. "Fine," I grunt and roll my eyes again for good measure…just so she can see that I'm continuing on this charade not because I want to, but because she's forcing the subject matter. "Who would you say 'yes' to?"

And it feels like I've just asked the question halfheartedly before she plants her lips to mine.

My mind pulls me back to that afternoon, only it feels as if our roles are a bit reversed. My eyes are wide in shock, her concentrated light blue eyes close enough that I can see the dark flecks that give that glitter I absolutely love. My heart's tattooing crazy palpitations against my chest and before I can even reply—

"Stupid."

She moves off me after she says it softly, tumbles back into her futon and turns so that her back faces me, creamy arms pulling her blanket so that it's all the way up to her shoulders.

It takes me awhile to get my bearings straight and even after, my mind's still too preoccupied at how nice and tingly my lips feel. I turn to her and feel a stab of regret at the look of her rigid back towards me.

"Tsu," I call, and hate how my voice quivers in uncertainty.

"Rest Haru," she says, her tone unmistakably clear. "We'll talk tomorrow."

And with that sound of finality, I cease all attempts of a conversation while my eardrums still thump my erratic heartbeat roughly in my ears.

I'm not sure when I managed to get sleep with my head going around in crazy circles. I know I feigned sleep when the boat started being driven back to the pier and stayed that way amidst the roaring engine and rocky waves. I even remember mama and papa coming in stealthily to their side of the cabin and retire soon after, but my stupid mind stayed deliriously awake, the heavy feeling on my lips still pronounced and making me touch it with a finger minutes at a time.

Have I been this blind the entire time to not know how she feels? Has she known how I feel this whole time? Questions rose unanswered in my busy head, coming quickly and going unanswered only to be replaced by new ones I still can't answer.

Before I'm aware of it there's shuffling to my right side making me sigh at the dreary prospect that I may have stayed up all night.

"Haru?"

I sigh louder at the husky call, my blonde papa kneeling to where I lay and looking down at me curiously. "I'm up," I grunt-whisper.

She streaks a soft hand under my eyes making me blink up at her as she gives me a concerned look. "Did you sleep at all?" she asks, rubbing what I assume to be bags there.

I shake my head. "My mind wouldn't shut up…"

She looks wary at my declaration all of the sudden. "Are you having visions again?"

I shake my head even wilder to qualm her sudden anxiety. "No, no papa," I state urgently and sit up from my makeshift futon.

Her emeralds soften as the worry creases off of her forehead and she smiles handsomely at me, brushing back wild, slept on hair. "Wanna help me get the boat out so we can head on our way again?"

I yawn loudly, look to my left where my female best friend is still locked in sleep's embrace and nod.

We cram in the small bathroom in the back of the yacht connected with the cabin and get ready for the early morning, brushing our teeth in unison and putting on matching gray hoodies before stepping out to the deck.

It's still dark out and much colder than I anticipated so while Haruka unties the ropes she's secured the boat with, I go up and wait for her at the pilot house, looking over the dark expanse and noting the sparse lighting only comes from the minimal amount of lamplights littering the otherwise quiet pier. She joins me soon after, turns on the motor, and after making sure everything is set to go, steers us forward. It's quiet as she navigates us out of the pier, but as soon as we have nothing but clear water ahead of us, she visibly relaxes and increases the speed of the boat, taking us out to open sea once again.

As the boat marches on forward, seemingly with no direction, papa puts a gentle arm around me and gives me a wondering look.

Without her having to ask me, I say as quietly as is possible over the wind whipping at our direction, "Tsubasa kissed me last night."

Her emeralds widen and her lips pull into a surprised smile. "And?"

"And she called me stupid afterwards and turned in and I couldn't sleep for my life."

She laughs, loudly and brashly, and musses through my hair. "Well, when you really want to be, you can you know."

I growl. "You're not helping!"

She laughs even louder and I humph while giving her time to get over her Haru-induced hilarity. "Okay," she says calming down after a bit. "Well at least this is a step up. Last time we were talking about Tsubasa-chan you guys were quarreling. From fighting to kissing, I say that's a definite upgrade."

I blush, deep dark red, and slap her arm, her warm laughter washing through me again. "Still not helping…"

"Haru, I want to tell you a story about a stupid girl who let opportunities slip by." And before I knew it, papa's countenance has turned serious, not a trace of laughter or amusement sparkling beneath solemn emeralds. It catches my attention and keeps me rooted in place. Haruka's gaze drifts towards the open sea, seeing nothing, but her eyes flicker to and fro so I know she sees something I can't. "See, this girl," she continues, "She has this friend for years. They're as close as two people can get, even closer because they share a mission and a goal and you can't be pulled towards someone without any attraction forming if you literally have seen the ups and downs of that person and you've shared every bit of it. But see, said girl, she's dumb…and instead of taking reign of her feelings and throwing caution to the wind by confessing her feelings, she lets it sit there, and it rots and festers and sooner or later, the one that she loves gets taken.

"Instead of finally acting upon it, she sees it as this sign that, 'Oh, I guess I was right and she doesn't actually love me like that' and runs. She runs fast and far and leaves everyone she loves behind in favor of a lie. She does this for _ten_ years, and while she's in this self-imposed exile, she misses out on life—on a friendship that goes beyond feelings, on a surrogate daughter that needed her to grow up, on _family._ Above all she misses out on a new life that she could've partaken on, and instead of coming back…instead of ending the run, she thinks a birthday present every year could give her a spot in this little girl's heart that doesn't know her—that _she_ doesn't know a thing of…not even a name."

Emeralds drift back to me and I know my eyes are wide in surprise at her sudden declaration.

She smiles helplessly and brushes through my hair with a strong hand. "It took me so long to come to this spot…and when I think back to the years I missed out on, it makes me sad that it's because of cowardice that made me miss out on opportunities. Because deep down, I knew your mama loved me, but there's still that niggling feeling that says I don't deserve her or that maybe I'm reading through the lines wrong. But I've been blessed because Michiru is everything I could possibly hope. She's…smart, and kind, and patient, and above all, forgiving."

She pinches my chin and shakes it around, her handsome smile coming back and I match it, because I can't help it. "Don't run Haru. Face everything head on, with conviction. Even if you're wrong, even if it hurts, remember that, that pain is momentary. You will always have people that love you—that will protect you no matter where you go in life. But we can't hold your hand forever. We can be behind you, every step of the way, so if you fall forward, we can help you back up, or if you fall backwards, we can catch you. So don't be afraid. You're never alone."

A bubble of emotion catches in my throat and I don't want her to catch me crying at being taken aback so suddenly at her words so I lunge at her and hug her wholeheartedly. But she's Haruka, and she understands and wraps her arms around me just as fiercely, yet belying that strength is always the carefulness I've grown to feel.

"Thanks Haruka," I say softly, my words coming out muffled because of her hoodie against my lips. I feel a light kiss on the top of my head, hug her even tighter, and we stay that way until I feel a soft pair of hands on my shoulder. I look up to see warm sapphires and Haruka and I scoot a bit closer so she can join us on the small seat of the pilothouse. "Good morning mama," I greet and it's times like these, when they're both right next to me, that I feel like I'm ten years old again, and I don't mind the feeling one bit.

"You're both up and early today," mama says, which I nod at while I lean a tired head into her arms.

"Papa was telling me about how good she runs," I remark snidely, causing the older tomboy to laugh and press my left thigh, the funny feeling invading my system suddenly. I laugh and push her wandering hand away.

Mama chuckles at our antics and pulls me closer, planting a small kiss where, oddly enough, Haruka had just done so.

I smile at her and suddenly remember what I wanted to speak to her about—to both of them really, but mainly to her. "In the bottommost drawer in my room," I start, gathering both their attention, "There's some stuff I've been working on. I've been busy…doing them. I didn't notice it's been chipping time away from all of you…In the start I…after waking up…" I stumble over words, hating that I can't just spit it out and appreciating their silence at letting me figure it out all the same.

I look up into mama's eyes and remember the broken figure next to the bed. I swallow, not wanting that memory to eat me up and bare all my insecurities to them. "In the future…when the vision comes true, I know it'll be hard, but please don't cry." Sapphires widen at my request, but I trudge on. "I know you'll miss me, and these last couple of weeks I've been doing projects to ensure that you'll have something to remember me by during presumably dark times, but…I noticed while taking care of them that I haven't spent any time with either of you because of them…so they became kinda counterproductive." I shake my head to clear the rambling I'm sure I'll be making again. "Anyway…as I said, there's this drawer, bottommost, in my room. Has…a lot of stuff in there. It's my present for you…for the freeze. So that you don't…get sad…even though I know you will be…

"Just…" I turn to papa, clutching at her sweater in an almost urgent fashion. "Be there…for each other. Cuz I won't be. I mean, I know you will be, but I just want to say it out loud. I'll be asleep…and I know it'll be long…and to me it won't seem long, but to both of you…" I lock eyes with strong emeralds, my countenance peaked with desperation. "Be there for mama." And as soon as I see Haruka nod, I turn to my mother again. "Be there for papa," I repeat and for some reason, I feel anxiety from my words…as if there will be no tomorrow. "Just…don't worry about me and be there for each other. I'll come back…and when I do, I want to see the both of you smiling."

It's silent as I stop, my stare drifting to the small wheel of the ship, but before anymore words are said, I feel both of my parents hug me closer on both sides. I chuckle and stifle an embarrassed blush as they kiss my temples in unison.

"My baby's all grown up, I see," mama says softly and I laugh louder, knowing my cheeks are flaring out in desperation.

Another ten minutes pass and Toshi and Tsubasa come join us, the pilothouse becoming all too stuffy, but by my parents' insistence they stay, and we all wait for the sun to rise, Haruka turning the boat off in a seemingly random time and place. My two friends stand behind us, Toshi and Haruka falling into easy conversation about the latest F-1 race and mama pondering in silence to my right, possibly thinking about what I've just asked both of them. I look up and behind me and Tsubasa gives me an unsure smile, followed by a finger tracing my upper cheek softly.

"You didn't sleep," she says, her voice a mixture of apology and concern.

I nod, but smile nonetheless. "We need to talk," I say clearly and without apprehension.

She matches my smile and brushes my hair back with her hand. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for that today," she replies cheekily making me chuckle.

I look forward at the sun's slow rising, Tsubasa's hand crawling lazily over my scalp, mama's palm tap, tap, tapping on my lap, Toshi's hand folded against my shoulder, and all of my fingers holding papa's pinky finger hostage. A silence descends upon us, five pairs of eyes following the slow ascent of the fiery orb that still feels too bright to be seen without a rough squint and I know, without question, that it's going to be the start of another beautiful day.

AN: Wow, this took a while eh? Umm…remind me…all of you, please remind me, _not_ to post unfinished stories. Ask first, and if I say, "Oh yeah, I'm not quite done with this yet, but let me post it anyway"…just stop me. Say one word, "Homecoming" and I'll know not to do it. /Sigh…Anyway, recently, it hasn't felt like there's any time for me to write and god knows I get super guilty knowing I have unfinished work out. It eats at me…consumes me, and I know…I'm letting someone down somewhere by not being able to write all of it. Gosh I hate unfinished stories…I'm sorry this chapter took…even longer…than the last one, but thank god it is DONE. I wonder though…if people will like it, considering there's little to no H&M…Maybe I messed up somewhere. Whatever…anyway…thanks for waiting, even though the wait may not have been worth it. Planned three shot turned into five and at least Haruka's stopped running. Thanks, as always, for reading :D And of course I'm not done writing. I just hope the next thing I write has more of the pairing that I promised, haha.

Dcouran: Bedtime stories are wonderful. As I've grown, I realized that more than anything they keep me up more than put me to bed. Thanks for waiting ever patiently.

ran: Thank you for the compliment and I hope you enjoy all of it.

petiyaka: A marathon O.O I can't say I'll ever be able to do something so hard. Yeah…this took longer, I apologize. And I'm sorry if the ending isn't good either /sigh.

pewpewmew: Haha…aww…it totally took longer than six months for this post . I'm afraid you might have to read it again…Thank you for the kind compliments and the cookie. I do love those sweet morsels even though I don't deserve them. As for your post script, I'm never done writing. I'll put something up when inspiration hits unless it becomes much longer than a one-shot. This has taught me not to put up unfinished work…

Tripower: Hello again. I'm glad I set your day properly with an update. Hopefully I can do so with this one too (although I doubt it). I laugh/cry at having to cut cake Totoro! Are you still playing D3? I've stopped…haha. Maybe I'll get through it again when I have the time, but I'm seriously lacking of that recently. I've already stopped playing Warcraft and even then…it feels as if daylight just burns even faster. I hope to see you when I post another story!

SHonLMicK: Glad I make the warm and fuzzehs come to life. Looks like reading your reviews puts a smile on my face too, so it's a win-win situation. Sorry for the wait…from last chapter as well as this, but thank you for the warm review as always.

madhatter: Nope…nothing bad happened to me…Still as alive as ever. No crazy illnesses (except maybe a bout of that regular flu stuff that airs out every year) to use as an excuse…unfortunately. The epilogue is here and please do look forward to more of my insufferable stuff :D

itou: Woohoo! Outer Senshi back together with a new addition? Hells yeah. :) Thanks for the review.

idledmind: Flirtatious Michiru really is the best. Was seeing a 16 (15 in my story actually even though they never really say) year old Haru as interesting as you hoped? It…hmm…it makes me think no…Sorry for the disappointment. Updating now!

Rayar: Thank you for the compliment. I'm not as amazing as you gush me out to be, honest. H&M do have their fabled happy ending, and it looks like Haru might as well…unless the freeze over has anything to say about it.

shinoh: I like reading long chapters. This one…is probably the longest because I totally didn't know how to end it…in fear of disappointment from readers…but alas…it must end, and that's how it went. Tadaima!...and Gomen…for another long wait. I'm sorry if this isn't what you were hoping for.

Meneldur: I'm glad you liked the changing of perspectives. Honestly, I was planning on ending it with one of the two mains and somehow…Haru…took over…Hmm…But yeah, I enjoyed writing "the reunion" as I guess we can call it now. Nothing like wedging a family back together. As for the epilogue…I guess you can tell me (or complain, that'll do too. I'll take it happily) if you feel the epilogue was worth the wait and ties up the story in a bundle. I feel though as if I'm missing an important thing I need to address…

goodbyethankyou: Yay! Another update?

Mantaray: Haruka and Michiru are set to be happy! You should never doubt that! Considering this is all in Haru's perspective, I did not elaborate more on the Michiru-Daiki proposal. Guess it's one of those things that are just swept under the fanfic rug. Blame it on the irresponsible author! Of course I plan on writing more H&M stories. That's silly talk to just get bored with it! Never! I may be gone for long spurts of time, but never fear…I'll never be tired of this OTP.

greenpig: To be honest, I didn't look at it in that perspective, but now that you mention it…yeah…I can see that. I can see that pretty well.

jadedlilgirl: :( I'm sorry. Here! Read it! I'll write again! I swear!


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